#that kinda says [Saturn is home to the children we never had...]

[bubbarnes]

i need to take a second because I've been crying so much while reading this and that ending... my god, that last line made me cry like a baby. i wish i was exaggerating but i can't even lie with things like this.

this was by far, one of the most, if not the most beautiful and perfect thing I've ever read. i think i always ramble about things i like and the last thing i would like to do is like, quote the most important things for me but this was just magnificent.

i am so glad i found this... or that it found me, i don't know. i really can't put into words how this made me feel.

it should be so lovely and pure? i don't even know if those are the right words but i feel so sad for bucky the entire time. he just wanted the love of his life back. it pains me so much because after everything he went through, the man was just looking for anything. something. even if that probably wasn't the best.

and she seems like a lovely woman. when she was completely alive, they were meant for each other. and you wrote her so well in her second chance because yes, something was dead. something definitely changed. and it's sad that she obviously knew and bucky as well but i guess his happiness was overshadowing the mess.

we just know he's never gonna be the same. he lost the love of his life two times but I think the good thing here is that he got the chance to say goodbye this time.

the thing about the star... oh god, i can't deal with it.

it's four am, i just finished this, so i am sorry for my bad english, the whole rambling thing but i felt i needed to say something. even if it was pure gibberish. if i could like this a million times more i would.

saturn

summary: you die. bucky tries to bring you back (or) close to a year after you die, bucky's desperation finally finds an answer. but it may not be the one he's hoping for.

warnings: angst. death. being revived from death and the processes that follow. sickness. war or something. swearing. there is also fluf here and there

a/n: im drunk as fuck <3 i haven't really looked at this since December. the title is taken from saturn by sleeping at last because i couldn't think of anything better. enjoy <3333333333333

He occasionally catches a glimpse of his face in the lake.

His skin is worn from months of sun damage, splotchy and incorrectly healed. His beard has grown well past the point of respectability, with strands of grey he didn’t realise could sprout from him. Eyes sunken and half-lidded always.

Bucky waits everyday for the reaper to pull him underwater. Every day is another spent on dry, barren land.

_____________

It was closing in on a year and a half. Time moves like aged honey when you're punished, slow and grasping.

He steps off the bed and into the resolute silence of the cabin. There was a hole by his bedroom door after a regrettable night of alcohol. Mead. Something that had his head spinning and bile stuck to the walls of his throat, and of which he doesn't even remember the name of the next morning.

It's all fleeting, anyway. Names, labels, lives.

He cooks himself breakfast on an old pan.  The room is bone-cold, and the floorboards creak when he drags the decades old chair from the dining room to the porch.

Paint peels under his feet, and his toe curls. A dull, faded orchestra of evergreens as far as he can see. He's had a target on his back since he was a kid, always under the gaze of something beyond his understanding. Always making sure he doesn't take a step out of line, or let too much life into his heart.

It's been a while since he's felt that. Like it had finally decided he learnt his lesson, that he wouldn't dare to take a new breath without considering if he deserved it. And so he doesn't wonder if there are irises staring back at him with the same lifelessness with which he watches them, day after day, hour after hour.

The outside cools his blood to a standstill, and he is almost entirely certain he is alone. The vast expanse of an empty sky, bearing no clouds, no birds. Some days, he almost thinks he can feel you when the winds move.

He thinks he's past the point of insane.

__________

His friends are kinder than he is. To a fault, almost. God knows he hasn't given them a reason to be.

After a couple of months of shifting to the middle of nowhere, there are fifteen fucking knocks to the door.

Bucky flings it open, ready to chew someone’s head off. Raging, still in the ratty old t-shirt and sweatpants and socks with holes in them that you swore you would burn. He is armed with a battalion of curses and threats, only for words to die a quick death at the tip of his tongue.

“Hey.”

Bucky's muscles tense to the point where they might crack, but he forces his arm to lower. 

“Been a while,” Sam says, arms crossed over his chest.

He doesn't know how he's hunted him down, given the nature of his disappearance, but Sam was nothing if not determined in his humanity.

With nowhere else to turn, Bucky silently pushes the door open.

________

“I like what you’ve done with the place.”

Bucky glances around the house. There are cobwebs hanging from each corner he sees. Bulbs coated with dust. Fine china starting to fade with unuse, and utensils slowly beginning to gather rust.

He doesn’t reply. He’s offered him water, but Sam declines.

“You get cell coverage out here?”

“Don’t make a lotta calls,” Bucky’s vocal chords sound like they’re lined with gravel.

“We noticed.” Sam leans forward, elbows on his knees. "Talked to Dr. Canmore?"

"Yep." Not since the psychiatrist was forced to clear him after Bucky showed no signs of violence, or returning back to him. To him, that concluded the purpose of their relationship.

"And?"

"There's nothing to say, Sam," he rebukes, gruff. "'M fine."

Sam looks like wants to raise an eyebrow, but the patience he's grown over the years from dealing with those worse than the mess setting in front of him disallows him. "Get enough food?"

Bucky flashes him a thumbs-up, and feels the onset of a migraine.

"Sunlight? Water?"

"'M not a fuckin' plan--" he begins harshly, but clears his throat. "You?"

"Doin' alright." Sam shrugs. "Been training a buncha new recruits, getting in touch with new ones. Superheroes are poppin' up all over the place. Got a girl saying she can control squirrels."

Bucky nods absent-mindedly, picking at the hem of his shirt. He thinks you would have found that amusing, considering that you thought Scott Lang's schtick was a bit on-the-nose too.

“Do you want to?”

Bucky sharply shifts back into focus. “What?”

“Help out,” Sam clarifies. “Recruit, train.”

Bucky’s jaw inadvertently tightens. “No,” he says sharply.

"Could be good for you."

""M done with that life." 

Sam's eyes reflect a reality that's different, but he still relents, "Okay. Whatever works for you."

Bucky can’t say he retired, exactly. He’d unceremoniously quit and had gone AWOL, but it had never been on paper. SHIELD was gracious enough to accept in whatever form they had, sending him funds every month as an unofficial pension.

“You should drop by sometime. Compound's all re-done."

Bucky shifts in his seat like the chair is too small for him. “‘M not exactly a joy to be around.”

“You’re actin’ like that’s somethin’ new,” he riffs, mouth curling into a smile. “Still.”

Sam's a good man who often lets his instincts lead the way, and if he's insisting on Bucky to return then something must be worth listening to. But his only company's been the thoughts in his head for a while now, and they're no good. What's impure about him surely wraps its tendrils around the world around him, poisoning them.

It's difficult, impossible, even to shake the suspicion growing on him, crawling up his back.

“Alright, well–” Sam pushes himself off the couch “-- just give us a call if there’s anything you need help with.”

Bucky may not have as many words as he used to, but he hasn’t forgotten his manners. He walks Sam to the front, where his truck lay parked, all polished from the last time he saw it.

"You got everything you need?” Sam asks again, and something inside him ignites a spark.

“Yes.”

Sam nods, hand on the hood of the truck, giving him a final look up and down. The few seconds of a leeway fans the spark into a red-hot anger, one that has Bucky's muscles painfully tight.

"Right. See you aro-"

"Why'd you come here?" Bucky interrupts. "To check if I'm losin’ it again? SHIELD couldn't get Dr. Canmore on the line so they send their next bet to tranquilise me?

Sam's eyebrows raise this time, and Bucky thinks he's finally managed to piss off the last person who cares if he's dead or alive, but everything in him is too hot, too scathing to bother.

He wants someone to get it, what it's like to claw at concrete walls with raw fingertips and broken nails. He wants someone to see what it's like, living like they've been injected over and over with needles.

"I know it’s hard, man," Sam replies, gentle like cool water on a burn.

Bucky's hands freeze, because he realises very quickly he wanted someone to hurt.

"Just thought you could use knowin' you had someone there," he continues. "Got flowers too, but I wasn't sure if you'd..."

Something in Bucky deflates, and he wants to cower into a ball. Bury himself so deep underground that he doesn't have to deal with how his ribs feel like they're cracking into splinters all over again.

Sam's already moved towards the passenger side door, and pulled from it a beautiful arrangement of evening primroses and jasmines. Of course Sam remembered.

You would have loved it.

"I don't have anywhere to keep it," Bucky croaks. He's turned the home he bought into a tomb, and he's closed the door to any remainder of life waiting to be lived.

Sam simply hands it to him, and Bucky takes it cautiously like it'll wither in a second. His touch is venomous and his want is a death-sentence, but the flowers stay alive.

"If you ever find a place," Sam says, squeezing his shoulder, "leave something there, too. Might help."

________

He'd add 'liar' to the list of words he's chosen to describe himself, if he said he didn't think about it every second since you died.

The idea initially comes to him like a snake, slithering and winding its way up his shoulder to hiss into his ear. He shudders the first time, jaws clenching, and dismisses it immediately.

But 'sinner' is a word he would use, and so on nights when he's awake too long and when your laugh sounds like a draft in his ear, he entertains the thought.

Indulges in it, grotesquely allows himself to think of an alternate ending, where his presence had not corrupted your fate, and you would have been alive and vibrant and trying out new flavours of gelato from the corner store. Stealing kisses from him, half awake, and dragging him to watch sunrises from the roof.

He thinks of things he'd do differently. Retire a lot faster. Took you to the National Parks like he said he would. Make sure your scent seared itself like a tattoo on all his clothes, because there's nothing on earth that replicated it and he's turned it inside out trying.

When the air is icy and the skin aches where his metal arm meets flesh, he thinks of how you always flicked his shoulder when he passed an off-hand comment under his breath, but muffled a laugh when his insults got more creative.

But soon, it will be closing in on two years since Bucky's last heard you groan at his stupid comments and the lake is just as pristine as the day he bought the cabin. The water glimmers like shards of diamond and there are days he thinks it's too still for even his liking.

"Have you ever been to Asgard?" you ask one night, legs splayed over his thighs.

He looks up from the book he's reading, pencil tucked into his ear. "I have not."

"Not even once?" you ask, distracted from whatever show you had gotten hooked on on TLC. Ever since you'd discovered the channel, you were convinced it was the best way to learn about "his culture". Sometimes he tuned in to learn about updates to "his culture" in the years he was gone.

"Strictly earthbound," he replies.

You nod, eyes drifting back to the TV. He watches you for a few seconds, hand gently squeezing the arm closest to his.

As it always was, your posture was pin-straight. Always ready. Like sitting still wasn't even an option. He used to think it was because you were never truly comfortable around him, until he realises that that was simply a part of you.

Bucky re-adjusts his glasses. He was getting old. His back pained and creaked like an old door hinge more each time.

He didn't think he'd get here. He's growing to love it. Mission reminders and target locations get replaced more and more with reminders that he still has to put the leftovers in the fridge from the date earlier that night, and that your shampoo needed a re-stock.

"Would you want to come with me one day?" you ask suddenly.

He puts the book down, and you turn away from the TV again. 

He can always tell when you're thinking. The world buzzes a bit. When you're older than a few galaxies, the universe and you become not so distinct.

"Might be a bit too grand for a fella like me."

"I think you'd like it," you counter, "and you're in a relationship with me. You'd fit in as well as anyone could."

He's still not sure how he's managed to accomplish the second part but you must have liked something about his ragtag sarcasm and social isolating tendencies.

Bucky's growing older each day. You're the closest thing he's seen to eternity. He doesn't think he would fit in, not with his thrift shop t-shirts and unbridled insecurities.

"Do you want me to?" he asks, hesitant.

He's met Thor, and he's heard mostly about Loki through childhood tales and news reports. Thor didn't seem to mind him, but then again, Thor saw the best in everyone.

"I'd like to show you the place I grew up," you reply, playing with his metal fingers. "You showed me yours."

"That's a couple'a streets from here, sweetheart," he reminds playfully. "Not exactly another realm."

The corners of your mouth lift slightly. "But you feel connected to it, don't you? That it is a part of you?"

Bucky intertwines your grins and keeps it there. He's always felt something towards Brooklyn. Something that kept him going when Siberian frost nipped at his skin. Tethered.

But when he'd shown you the place he grew up in, it wasn't the same. Brickwall had been overlaid with plaster and paint. Doors ripped off their hinges, wallpaper a ghastly white instead of the stained floral print his sister and he drew on. It was unease, trepidation.

It didn't feel like his anymore. Probably because Bucky didn't feel like him anymore.

"Yeah," he replies after some thought, even though it's not entirely right.

"I feel that way about Asgard," you continue the thought. "Being here is lovely, and I love learning of all the things your people do, but--"

"It's not the same," he interjects gently. "I get you."

You look at him and smile, and Bucky feels the same gnawing feeling that this is something that's too good, too pure for him.

God of the Night Sky and the Mortal of Blood Stained Hands.

It shouldn't work, but you've already got a drawer in his shelf for your belongings. You've talked about moving to a cabin by the woods if you ever wanted to settle down. You kissed him that morning, and once more on his shoulder, and the last time he's laughed this much in one dinner was the one he had the night before with you.

"Whichever day you're ready," you promise. "I've got a feeling you'll be convinced."

Bucky presses a kiss to your fingers, and you turn back to the TV with a smile.

He watches you for a while. Your fingers continue to play with his. Bucky thinks getting older may just be worth it.

You made a dozen or so trips back to Asgard since the conversation, and he pushed his involvement on each one with the unfailing and ultimately misplaced  certainty that he'd have time.

__________

You wouldn't approve of the way he'd kept the cabin. You wouldn't approve of the way he lived. He knows that, but he also knows if you were around then he'd have a reason to actually sow more than vegetables in the land he keeps digging up. He'd make sure of the table cloth that he found stashed away, leave the blinds open more to allow light to reach his room.

He looks at the bouquet of flowers by his feet and thinks that laying it by a boulder would be insignificant.

So for the first time in a long while, he prays the act of creation will bring him some respite and builds. 

A little hut, with sticks he finds around the place, and makes it big enough to house Sam's bouquet from the wind and sun. He carves out your name onto the boulder, painstakingly with his pocket knife until each letter was guaranteed to last a century. He adds the year of your birth, and can't find it in himself to add the year you died.

He steps back and exhales. It's a memorial. It's a start.

__________

Bucky spends most of the day digging up dirt, sitting out on the porch and looking for firewood. He’s learnt how to grow his own vegetables, and how to go into town unnoticed for other essentials.

And now he has something to tend to.

It starts with fickle sticks and grows into something sturdier. He brings the memorial stronger wood, and bands to hold it together. He looks for wildflowers and pretty leaves, bunches them together and leaves them under the protection of the small roof.

It's the most he's done in over a year.

Months go from crawling to a standstill when it nears October. Bucky leaves the house less often.Truth is, the sky has never entirely recovered since you were gone. It's never truly dark-- a faint navy blue or even azure in the days leading up to the anniversary.

He's seen people puzzle over it-- call it the newest effects of light pollution or climate change. There is no reasonable answer, but the one that exists is that you left and you took the constellations with you.

Still, evening always comes faster and he can't quite stand being out at that time, when there is a void where he used to feel you the most. Instead he stays asleep for as long as he can. He makes use of the brief time he has to fix himself some food, and bare minimum upkeep.

He gathers the last of the flowers he can see around, some leaves that hadn't entirely been lost and makes his way to the lake.

"Forgive me, sweetheart. Season's changin' and I don't got a lot of options," he says lowly and to the hut that's managed to stay up.

Bucky looks at the sparse flowers in his hands and thinks that he'll make the godforsaken trip into civilisation to get you better ones. Ones you really liked, colourful and dynamic.

For now, he tries tying them together with a blade of grass to make it look less pathetic. It breaks every single time-- he's never been very good at being delicate.

Something around his wrist catches his attention. Some days he forgets it isn't a part of him.

His hair whips rather majestically around his head. He’s used to the sting when it strikes his skin, only reflexively reaching up to tuck it behind his ear.

“Hair tie?”

His eyes snap to yours in surprise. You've never really talked to him before, just brief nods and smiles along the way. Bucky wasn't exactly the patron saint for socialising either. He's always thought something about you was otherworldly. He didn't consider himself significant enough to be going out of your way to talk to either.

“Would you like a hair tie?” you repeat. “It’s rather bad out there.”

“Uh, yeah,” he replies, though he’s never considered that as a solution. “Sure, if you’ve got one.”

“We’ve learnt to carry them around when you fight alongside the likes of Thor and Volstagg.” You smile, reaching into the compartment of your belt. “Long hair looks good. Doesn’t always work that way.”

Bucky gives you a tight smile, feeling slightly embarrassed but a voice in him compels him to accept the kindness you’re offering.

He quickly secures his hair into a lower bun, giving more show to cheeks dusted pink.

“I’ll give it back after the mission,” he promises.

“Don’t.” You pause, giving him a once-over. “It suits you.”

Most days he remembers it's one of the only things he's still got of you. Still, he ties the flowers together with your hair tie-- and they stay this time.

"See you next week," he says, and a wind blows past him. Pathetically, he dares to hope it's a sign from you.

___________

Two sharp knocks on the door, but his eyes are open before the second one. It wasn’t like he was getting much sleep anyway.

When his arm doesn’t keep him up, it’s the ache in the rest of his body to be near you. Trailing kisses up your arm and watching wildfire heat spread through his neck when fingers tip up his chin. Lips trying to catch each other until panting breaths matched.

He flips over to the other side. Both sides of the pillow are drenched with his sweat. Christ, if this was how it was going to be in the days leading up to the anniversary, he can't imagine what would happen the day of. 

Someone rapps intently at the door, only picking up pace when Bucky chooses to ignore it. By all means, he’s retired. That alone should entitle him to some fucking peace, but no. 

He curses as he drags himself out of bed and pulls on a shirt, shuffling to the door. When he pulls it open, his eyes are probably murderous, but there is no one to catch the daggers. There is a simple brown cardboard box, labelled with his name.

Bucky, with a narrowed gaze, takes a step away from the box and instead heads into the open air. But there is not a soul, even as he stalks around the cabin and really stops to listen.

He comes back to the threshold and eyes the box. Using his foot, he swiftly kicks the lid off it and braces for an impact that doesn’t come.

There are shirts. And a mug. He frowns, kneeling down to shuffle through the contents, only to find bits and pieces of things he just…left behind when he left the compound.

Pictures he never really got framed. Socks with torn toes. Sweatpants. Laptop.

And there’s a tiny box. His chest twists the second he lays eyes on it so much that he thinks he’s been injured.

There’s a ring in there. Not really even an engagement ring, since you were gone before he had a chance.

Just a ring. But it’s enough to make him suddenly feel the weight of the air around him and he’s forced to take a seat right there on the steps. There’s nothing else in there of you, just old mission reports that mention your active involvement. Maybe if the smell of cardboard hadn’t permeated through the fabric of his shirts, he’d have traces of your scent.

Fragmented parts of his life, like snapshots of his history, running through his mind like an old film. It makes him question, for a second, if death was finally catching up to him.

Well, it was late. He’d been kept waiting for years.

_____________

The day itself is grey and sullen. In crackles of electricity, he can almost feel Thor’s state of mind. He tries not to think that in a few years, you’d be gone for longer than he knew you.

He rounds up leaves as orange as mandarins and ties them together with the hairtie. He clears up the last bunch he’d left and takes a seat on the shore of the lake. Cloudless and barren. Chill.

He can sense the end of the battle is near– he sees Sam a lot less overhead, even his gun didn’t require as many re-stocks. His pace slows to match the few that are left around him, and he’s already wondering how he can finish this quicker to get to help with search and rescue.

But Bucky didn’t even have to be told. Mid-punch, something in the air shifts and a deep shiver runs up the curve of his spine.

Before he even straightens up the sky explodes from the early azure of dawn to a blinding white to a blood-curdling crimson. His body reacts faster than he does, because the speed at which his stomach drops is only rivalled by how fast he was sprinting to your last known location.

He yells names through open comms-- yours, Thor's, Sam's-- turning the corner and immediately feeling the full force of a blast shove him onto his back.

With a groan and the force of his left hand, he presses into his ears to stop the excruciating ringing. He feels someone pull him up– blue, red and white kevlar against bruised skin and he’s already pushing away.

“Sam, where–” he blinks furiously, trying to read what word’s Sam’s got on his mouth because his head is still spinning. “She–”

He hears something about Thor and building and searching and forces himself to look at the force of a multistory highrise that’s collapsed into rubble on the street.

Something about impaled and sacrificed and he feels like vomiting violently, shoving Sam aside to stumble through the dust and smoke, teeth clamping down on his heart in his mouth.

Thoughts of you waiting under rocks, choking while fly ash turned your lungs to rock, suffocating.  Every second of his incompetence is a second you spend wasting away where he couldn't find you.

It takes hours for Thor to give up searching through the rubble. It takes Bucky days.

It took a few seconds for the sky to turn red. It took weeks to turn from crimson to the ghost of blue it still remains.

God of the Night Sky and A Man Too Slow.

Your body is never found, and Bucky never forgives himself. It takes a whole month to be able to look at the night. Some days he hides his face from the moon, afraid of wrath.

____________

When Bucky gets the call, he isn’t exactly sure how to respond. One, because he didn’t even know you had his number memorised and two, he’s not sure how you’ve allowed yourself to get arrested. But it’s 2am and he’s on his motorcycle, on the way to the police station, still entirely confused about what exactly was going on.

“That’s him.” You point, jumping up from behind the bars.

You look lovely– someone’s gotten you out of the battle armour he usually sees you in, and into something that passes as authentically Earth-like.

He makes a mental comment to tell you, but to still be discreet about it. He's not really sure where the both of you stand these days. You've got him agreeing to braids in his hair like a viking, and sitting next to him during team nights. He's got you reading the entirety of Lord of the Rings and going to museums with him to steal back his belongings. But he's not really sure.

Bucky’s eyebrow twitches at the fact that they’ve got you locked up, but you look entirely unfazed like it’s a new restaurant or escape room you’re checking out. Excited, even.

"Hey,” he says calmly to whoever wants to listen, “what the fuck?”

The grin you give him is sheepish and he already kinda wants to laugh, but he fights back a smile.

“Broke two tables at the bar two blocks down,” the officer replies. “Looks like she was going for a third.”

“I promise, I did not mean to,” you swear to him. “I did not realise your furniture would be so weak.”

Bucky looks at the officer wearily. “Had t’lock her up for that?”

Whatever the officer was expecting, it was not Bucky's lack of respect for the law or private property.

“Well– superpowers– we’re not really sure–” he stammers.

You watch the man curiously, while Bucky's eyes flicker over to you. He knows you could bend the bars of the jail cell and walk right out, so indulging them was clearly a choice.

“I’m an Avenger, I’ll take it from here,” he interrupts, making his way over to you.

“I’m gonna need to see some ID–”

“Google it,” he bites back, before turning to you. “Y’okay?” 

“I’m great,” you reply, full of life as if it wasn’t the middle of the fucking night. “It was a lot of fun.”

“How’d you know my number?” He mentions for the guard to unlock the gate, ignoring the swelling in his stupid chest.

“We are friends, are we not?” you ask, a bit confused.  

Bucky can't figure out if he's surprised or disappointed- a good mix of both, perhaps. He's glad you consider him a friend, but something in him aches dully. He positively despises it and how often it's been creeping up on him whenever he sees you around the compound. He was a 100 years old, not some lovesick fuckin' teenager.

“Yeah. We are,” he agrees, turning to glare at the officer who was holding up his phone, eyes darting between it and Bucky’s face. “Could y’move faster? It’s late.”

The guy hurriedly unlocks it and you step out, stretching your arms over your head before waving goodbye to the guy and sauntering off. He watches you go for a second before pressing back a small smile.

“The bar-”

“Tell them to get stronger tables,” Bucky calls from over his shoulder, not even waiting for a reaction. “Send the paperwork to the Avengers office, and put the bail on the tab.”

He finds you outside, arms crossed over your chest while you wait for him.

“Thank you.” You give him a smile. “I forgot that it would be late for you.”

“Don’t mention it,” he waves off. “Wild night, huh?”

He had heard that some of the agents who had shifted here recently were checking out the hubs around town, but he had no idea that you’d be with them. It made sense in hindsight. More often than not, you were seeking recommendations and guides on how to learn what it was like here.

“I’ve seen worse.” Your eyes shine, and for a second he thinks that they even glimmer like starlight. “I did not realise breaking tables would be such an issue.”

“Yeah, we tend to be possessive over stuff,” he scratches his neck, almost embarrassed for his kind. “Coulda kept the cops out of it, don’t know why they had to go through all this.”

“I will have them replaced. Ours will not break, they’re made for Asgardian parties after victories in battle.”

He nods slowly and wonders if a crane would be enough to lift the table into the joint. It was nearly 3am, and he was out here with you in front of a police station, and he can't stop his stomach from fluttering. He wants to punch himself.

“Are you hungry?” you ask suddenly.

Bucky’s head tilts. He definitely had dinner….maybe. Half a leftover burrito and an apple.

“I’m starving,” you add. “I saw this place along the way here–”

Not to rub it in, but Bucky Barnes, smooth player and charmer extraordinaire, blanks. He's about sixty years off his game, and sure, he thinks you’re real pretty and that maybe he’s always wanted to know what it’d be like to buy you dinner and maybe hold your hand? If you were good with that? Maybe even–

“Like a date?” he blurts out and immediately wrings his fingers.

You falter and he wishes he was never born. “A date?”

“Like– getting dinner together,” he tries to remedy. “Breakfast. What time is it?”

“Yes, that is what I asked.” Your head cocks to the side to match his in confusion.

“No, like– like different. Not just dinner– yeah, dinner, but more–” Christ alive, he wishes he could run into traffic, but the road was deserted.

You wait for him to explain a little better where he was trying to get at. He can feel his ears burning bright.

He just shuts up instead.

“Dinner-breakfast, but more,” you test slowly.

“...more romantic?” he tries finally, defeated. “A date. Romantic date– I’m tryin' to ask you out here.”

"Oh.”

The world is very still. He thinks he will hand in his resignation tomorrow and disappear.

He had done his part, embarrassed his mother and every internet poll that deemed him the most suave and mysterious Avenger, and could now die in peace.

“A date it is, then. Breakfast-dinner, but more,” you reply.

Oh. He thinks he’s probably going to combust but you lean over to press a small kiss to his cheek, and now he’s sure he’s going to combust.

“Humans think too much,” you say simply.

"Think I'm more of an exception than the norm,” he mumbles.

"Aren't I lucky," you tease, and tap on the helmet. “Don’t suppose you’ve got an extra?”

Bucky’s eyes fly open, and the blankets get kicked off in a frenzy. His chest heaves as he sits up, rubbing furiously at his eyes.

He knew it was going to be bad, but he didn’t think it would be this fucking insidious. 

He moves to wipe the sweat from his brow but comes back dry. The air is still cold even though he keeps the window shut, and he turns to it to see a thunderstorm taking place outside.

He watches the drops pelt against the window and trees shake violently for a moment, forcing himself to breathe as he rakes his hand through his hair.

Before it clicks, and his stomach drops.

“Fuck,” he hisses, not even bothering to throw on a jacket before bolting outside.

The path that he’s trodden a thousand times before looks entirely unknown, and had he not been reliant on his muscle memory he would have had no clue where he was heading. Inky blue trees, harsh and sharp, and he's sure he's gotten a few scratches on his face already as he sprints through the forest to the lake.

The boulder is there, the carving of your name remains but the hut of sticks and leaves-- it lays strewn across the land.

And the hair tie. The fucking hair tie.

He crawls miserably on his arms and knees, relying on the light from a clouded moon to guide him through every inch of grass. Eyes burning red, he continues to scour until morning breaks with twilight.

6 years he’s kept it with him. 6 years, and it’s gone with the rain.

He lets out a cry, fist driving into the earth, barely met with any resistance.

God of the Night, and Devil of Misery.

_______

The flowers had dried up and left him to rot with them. The lake was troubled on more days than not. He had a ring that was neither entirely yours, neither entirely his and no more than the traces of your skin in his memory.

So this time when the idea appears to him like a snake, crawling and inching up his back to tell him that he deserves it, you deserve it. It would solve everything.

He is no stronger than Eve. He had fallen from grace a long time ago. He shudders just as he did the first time, but now it felt like more reprieve.

_____________

“James,” it greets, hollow like a windchime.

His voice comes out more gruffer than he expects from months of unuse, “Got a minute?”

The light retreats further into the house, away from him. He watches it fade as it travels, unsure of what to do until it pauses, hovering in one spot.

It waits for him, he realises. He slips the beanie off his head and into his pocket, before hesitantly taking a step into the cabin. The floorboards creak under the weight of him the way his own used to months ago. Now they were well-worn and all the corners that made the most noise were identified and memorised. The house and its resident both stayed silent.

Bucky finds Wanda with her eyes closed, palms pressed into her knees as she sits midair, body levitating like she was held up by a marionette.

The room is lit dimly, the only light enough to see Wanda and he understands that the woman he met years ago and the one in front of him now were not the same. Even without his serum, he has a feeling the hair on his body would be standing up, adrenaline replacing desperation and fingers bound tightly into a fist. But even with his senses on high alert, Bucky finds it hard to find a reason to care.

“You found me.”

They gave him back his laptop. He knew the Avengers had eyes on her– but only because she was allowing them.

“What brings you here?” she asks, eyes still closed.

“I need a favour,” Bucky replies, voice unnaturally strong.

“Most do,” she hums, bones cracking when her head creaks to the side. “What is it that you want, James?”

“Got a feeling you already know,” he replies.

“Humour me.”

Bucky’s eyes burn the more he continues to stare. He feels sweat trickle down his back in a clean line. The room felt like it was closing in on him with every pulse of light, crawling into his skin and scraping up and down his bones until–

“I want to bring her back from the dead.”

Wanda’s eyes stay shut but a sick, twisted sort of smile works at the corner of her mouth. “Who?”

“You know who,” he swallows thickly.

Wanda straightens her head till she is sitting pin straight again, eerily firm as if her spine had been replaced with a rod.

“It has been months. Nature would not have been kind to her.”

“But it’s possible,” he says– asks, really.

“Anything is,” Wanda tuts. “But all that time would have eroded away at her.”

“We never found the body." He hates how his voice quivers for a second. “And she’s not from this Earth. That’s gotta count for something.”

“Depends.”

“Can you do it?”

“I can.”

Bucky feels relief flood into his system, an ecstatic sort of euphoria that has his heart lead–

“But I won't.”

And it goes back to how it was. Cold. Bitter. Was this some sick fucking joke?

“Why?” His voice drops an octave.

“Time will heal you. Getting in the way of that is only harmful to you.”

Real fuckin’ rich coming from you, he wants to scream.

“I tell you this because I know from experience.” It’s almost as if she reads his mind. Probably does. “Bringing someone back from the dead is not what you think it is.”

“I’ll handle it. Whatever it is.”

“Can you?”

Bucky wavers, brows furrowing. “Yes.”

Wanda hums, the same smile from before returning to her face. “Your spirit is admirable. But I’m afraid I can’t grant you this wish.”

Bucky feels white hot inside, and like his world crumbles into a dark heaving mess. “Wanda–”

“It’s for your own good, James.” If he wasn’t so full of rage he’d maybe hear the fondness that hid behind a few of her words.

“How would you know?” he snaps. “Vision wasn’t human–”

Wanda’s eyes snap open. Bucky is forcefully shoved a step back, arm jumping up in front of him in a second. For the first time he notices that the light wasn’t shining on Wanda– it was coming from her. Crimson red and pulsating as fast as the blood raced through her veins.

“You think Vision was the first time I’ve lost someone?” Her voice is cold. “You met him, James. You knew his name.”

Bucky’s grown to carry guilt on his back like Atlas. A little bit more is hardly a burden. “This– it’s going to be different,” he says. “She’s not a mutant, she’s a God, Wanda–”

“So you think you can match up to that by playing one?” Wanda’s voice raises. “You don’t get to pick who stays dead. You don’t get to choose. I didn’t. None of us did.”

“I wasn’t there when she died. If I was, then maybe–”

“That doesn’t mean anything. I cannot give you this favour.”

“Then consider it repayment. Of a debt,” he finally exclaims. “You said it. You owed me one. I’m cashin’ it in.”

Days of starvation just so that the kids could eat. If his handlers knew, they’d make him kill them with his bare hands. He gladly accepts fifteen more broken bones just so that the twins are kept together, and even when he goes back under, the sight of their big eyes, too big for their faces, staring at him haunts him in his nightmare.

“I just want another chance.” Bucky’s stare is strong, voice steady. “I’m tired of praying. I’m sick of it. I’ve been begging my whole life for a second chance at everything. You think I want to be here? That I get to be the one that’s still alive?”

The glow around Wanda looks like it should burn her. All consuming and vicious, like blood splattered on a wall.

“Please,” his voice reduces to the strength of a child. “Just try. That’s all I’m askin’.”

Bucky watches as the light slowly dims to a silhouette, leaving him blinking back the burn on his iris. He loosens his fist, knowing later that his fingernails probably broke through the skin of his palm.

Wanda’s chest rises and falls.

She closes her eyes. “Leave.”

He wordlessly turns on his heel. It was stupid of him to hope, he supposes.

______________

Autumn dies for December to grow, and he starts staying inside more than he already does. Snowfall covers the roof and the treetops. He swaps eggs for soup and makes batches large enough to last the whole day. The ground freezes over, and he looks for ways to keep his self-sustaining system going, but trips to town become more frequent.

Sam visits once more, and brings some more things with him this time. Books, a journal, some old box sets of shows. Bucky nods along to the conversation, asks after his family and when the time comes, rejects another offer to come to spend Christmas at the compound.

He accepts Sam’s flowers with more grace than the last time. The door closes, and he leaves it by the couch.

__________

He attempts to rebuild it. Pulls together some stronger branches and heavier stones. A new memorial lays together half-heartedly. Dejected. A little miserable looking.

He stares at it a little too long before one swoop of his arm cracks it in half and leaves it strewn across the grass.

Bucky doesn't try again.

__________

“Did you come up with the constellations?”

It's a stupid question, but he's always curious about you.  

“Hm,” you reply at first. “Not in the sense that you’d think.”

Bucky turns away from looking into the abyss and towards you. His flesh hand continues to trace shapes into your skin as your neck rests on his bicep.

“I didn’t place them in a way that was meant to be drawn,” you reply. “My mother used to tell me when I was a child that the spirits of those I cherished would live on through parts of our creations. For others, it would be through groves of orchards, or rain that corrode caves into mountains.”

Bucky watches the fingers of your free hand dance nimbly, while the other stays tucked between the both of you.

“I was young when I realised that certain lights were brighter when I felt too much for someone. Pain, joy, rage,” you continue, fingertips pointing upwards, “Those stars, satellites– whatever you wanted to call them– they were the ties I had to those I loved. So sometimes, I would move them with me so that every time I looked up, I would see that I had company.”

He tears his eyes away from you and towards where you were gesturing. It’s subtle at first, but then he sees– stars moving faster than they should, darting all around the canvas of the night like runaway splotches.

“Over time, those on earth noticed patterns and called them constellations. I’ve always seen it as my family,” you say, gently dragging a barely lit star from the corner of his eye towards the centre.

“That’s for Thor. Sif.” You take turns to point. “Loki. Fandrall. Hogun. My parents.”

Each seems to glow a little brighter as you call out their name. “There’s one for you, as well.” Your finger drops, finding its way back to comfort on his chest.

Bucky’s eyebrows raise.  

“You’ll have to see for yourself which one it is.” You leave a kiss on his jawline, and he instinctively tugs you a bit closer. “It won’t be any fun if I tell you.”

He doesn’t need to ask. There’s one slightly to your left, that’s glowing a little brighter tonight than the rest. His chest swells, and there's a profound sort of speechlessness that engulfs him. He never really knows what to say around you anyway.

“Really fuckin’ love you, you know that?” he mumbles into your the skin of your temples.

“I’ve got a clue or two.” You laugh and along with you, so does the sky.

___________

Bucky eyes fly open, fingers digging deep into the pillow. Not because of the way his brain was choosing to torture him again.

But the fact that the fucking person from before was back at his door, even though it was the middle of the fucking night.

He lets the first three knocks go unanswered but by the fifth one, he’s ready to unleash the force of the shitty month he’s had into whoever was here to drop off the next box of fucking whatever.

He doesn’t even bother pulling on shoes or straightening out his clothes. Hair wild and untamed and fury in his eyes, he marches down the steps of the cabin with a select choice of words for SHIELD and their stupid protocols.

With enough force to pull the door from its hinges, he yanks the door open, eyes ablaze and mouth set in a scowl.

And the earth stops spinning. 

The absolute wind gets knocked out of him and he’s scared to even blink because this has happened to him before. It’s happened, and his eyes have closed and it’s left and he can’t afford that again–

He freezes when a hand reaches out to touch his bicep. Because that has never happened before. He’s always woken up before this.

At the threshold of the cabin, he falls to his knees. His joints ache the same way they did in church all that time ago when his fury was masked with tears.

“Oh,” he whispers, kneeling before the essence of a God he thought abandoned him.

“Bucky?” you ask, confused and soft, hand reaching out to cup his cheek before lowering yourself to his height.

Bucky makes somewhere between a strangled noise and a strange laugh, head reeling.

“You’re back.” His hands fall at your waist lightly like he’s afraid to disrupt still water.

“What’s–” your sentence is interrupted when your eyes roll back into your head.

Moments later it goes limp, and his reflexes move faster than he can comprehend as he grabs you, body springing into action when his mind gives up on him.

He lets out a sigh of relief loud enough to be a sob, fervently holding up the dead weight and a rhythm returns to the stillness of the night, one he’d forgotten the sound of. If he was even the slightest bit aware, more than grateful, he would see the signs from then. His vibranium doesn’t warm when it meets the sliver of skin as he bunches up your shirt in his grip. It feels like he’s breathing in Antarctic air, not spring drafts.

“Thank you,” he whispers against your shoulder to whoever is listening. “Fuck– God, thank you.”

_______

"It's been a month."

"A week, and that's pushing it."

"You're pushing it," you mumble, tightening the straps of your armour, "I do not know how you live like this. Do you always just stare at the ceiling when you're bored?"

"Sometimes I like to switch it up. Look at the floor," Bucky adds gruffly, to a roll of your eyes. "Maybe the door on the days I'm feelin' real fancy."

"You will just let your TV lay that way? With half the screen missing?"

He shrugs half-heartedly. "Sports season's done. Got nothin' to watch."

"Hmm," you pause a second. "'No' to your offer then. You may take that as my formal reply."

"'No' to Thai takeout later?" Bucky squints out into the twilight through the window of the ammunition room. "Lebanese then?"

You raise your eyebrows, tightening the leather around your wrists. "Goodbye, Barnes."

"Bye," he replies, checking to see if his knives sat securely in his old tactical pants.

You send him a nod before you start striding towards the door.  The jet had landed a while ago, still onloading agents and recruits from the compound. 

Bucky's arm jets out to grab your elbow, pulling you back into him. He's well aware it's only because you let him.

"I'm kiddin'," Bucky laughs at the matching smile on your face. "I'll get it fixed. I'll fix it myself. Just marry me, please. I'm growin' old here, sweetheart. All this questioning's not good for my heart."

"You're already old. And we will talk about it when we get back," your fingers press gently into his chest, and he can feel your touch even through the bulletproof vest. "Your laws-"

"There's no law out there that says ex-enemies of the state and Gods can't marry. Even if there is, it'll be just another one I have to break."

Your eyes twinkle when you laugh. Bucky sees remnants of old cosmos in there, as he always has.

"We'll talk about it when we get back," you promise. "Be safe."

"Can't guarantee that."

"Try not to die, then."

"Always."

He can't remember a time when he wasn't the last one on the jet, owing to goodbyes like this. You never opted to join them, reaching the same way Thor does.

The night was uncharacteristically calm, especially since he knew that miles away you were about to step into another battle. But it's good. The night means you will be at your strongest, and that is what he hopes for.

Bucky allows a few seconds of silence to take you in, skin glowing even against harsh fluorescent lighting and a cool air of confidence around you. You raise an eyebrow at him, because this is far from the first time he has done this. He would never divulge why.

He takes a chance to press a quick kiss to your lips, humming. "I'll get the TV fixed when we're back."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Barnes." You smile, thumb swiping across the dent in his nose, an imperfection in a sea of many. "Thai for dinner?"

"Lemme check my calendar." Bucky takes a step back, feeling his heart constrict in a way that he's gotten used to craving. "I may have an opening."

"Please, don't try too hard."

"I'll have my secretary get back to you."

You roll your eyes, fighting a smile. "I love you."

"So, that's a yes then?"

"Get on the plane, Bucky." You sigh. "You already know the answer."

"Love you more." He grins at you, bright and like he's never known sadness. "Catch you later."

____________

In the days that pass, he doesn’t know how to be.

His body leaves him no choice–  staying up all night, waiting for Wanda to show up at the door, fingers burning to take it all back. He keeps the doors locked and windows shut, as if ageing wood would provide any sort of a barrier when it came to her will.

Bucky walks around in a trance, eyes glossy and body stiff like he isn’t sure how much of what he’s seeing is real.

Your body, housed in his old clothes, looks three seconds away from death. He keeps a bucket by the bed from when you cough up dust, the last remainder of old organs. He massages leg spasms, and muscle cramps from your neck.

He keeps a towel close by for the nausea and anything in between as your body fights off the shock of a rebirth. Allopathy is useless when you're a God either way, so he resorts to herbs and roots to alleviate as much as he can.

Your lungs struggle for air at night. He’s already awake, propping you up to make sure you’re breathing better. He rubs at your back in circles the same way he used to do for Steve and finally takes a breath when the wheezing subsidies.

He fervently tells you he loves you every time you slip back under, and wipes at your forehead with a wet cloth to ease the warmth. He’s met with coughing fits and clenched eyes.

Exactly one week from your return, a trip downstairs to gather more firewood for the room and Bucky falters to a stop near the kitchen.

There's a note pinned to the dining table with no indication as to how it got there.

The debt is repaid. This was by your will. Whatever happens next will be by hers.

Every hour, he watches rotting flesh, dissolved muscles and clotted blood crawl out of your mouth. He forces himself to watch. It was his choice after all.

Bringing you back from the dead was never going to be easy.

_________

A week later, the remains of your old body stop exhuming itself. Perspiration beads line your forehead, and he thinks the salt of sweat is your first act of creation. 

Your breath steadies. Nights go smoother. He learns he can live off of two hours of sleep. 

He toys with the idea of telling someone. Sam. Thor, even.  But your lips are bluer than he’s ever seen, even more than when he’d introduced you to blueberry juice pops when the heat beat down on you both in July, and you’d kissed his red-stained ones. 

The longer he stares at you, he dismisses the idea. Something in him says that beyond being something they could accept, they could actively bring a stop to what he was doing right now. 

He couldn’t afford that. Not now, not ever; not when he’s let you down once before already. It’s a secret for now, then. For as long as it needs to be. 

__________

In the days later your nervous system seems to be rewiring itself. The first time he sees you with your eyes open, the plates he’s holding clatter to the floor. 

“Hey,” he whispers, fingers clutching the side of the bed, “Hey, honey. Can you hear me?”

But your eyes never meet his. He slowly follows your gaze to the closed window, eyes glassy and surrounded by strings of red. 

He sees you mouth something, and desperate as he is, he never truly understands what it is before you’re gone again.  

His exhale leaves staggering, head dipping to your arm as he clenches his eyes tight till he sees spots. 

_____________

Bucky starts leaving the windows open. The ones in your room, at least, and only when he's there to keep watch.

It becomes a mission then. The next time you opened your eyes couldn’t be to the desolation he lived in for months. He looks for flowers. Vines. Anything to make the place look less dreary and miserable. He cleans the blinds, and dusts the paintings in the room.

The cells in your body seem to be working overtime– every day there is a little bit less that reminds him of where you came from. Scabs fall away faster than they grow, leaving unbroken skin.

He notices it late. There is only one wound that remains-- a red, jagged scar along your stomach. It looks angry. Heals slower than the rest of them. It is the only place Bucky sees specks of gold instead of bronze when you exert yourself too much.

__________

It takes a good amount of time. He should have anticipated it— the next time you awake, and the next few times after that are only when the sun chases beyond the horizon. 

He drops to your side with questions of “can you hear me?” or “does something hurt?” but each time, something outside the widow holds your attention dear to its chest and unwilling to share.

The moon rays become an elixir more powerful than anything from this Earth. Light almost surrounds you like a cloak, sinking into your skin and drowning in your bones. 

He stays up at night, massaging your arms and your temples, but you are still so cold to the touch he isn’t sure the blood is circulating at all. So he gets more firewood. Makes sure the house is warm all the fucking time.  

Stagnant. Still. Some nights he thinks he can see you looking at him from the corner of your eye.

The second he turns, you lay unmoving as before.

________

He stands labouring over the stove. There's a batch of rich tomato soup, with bread toasting in a skillet nearby. He alternates between wiping down the bowl to serve you in, though you still haven’t eaten, and stirring the soup to stop it from sticking to the bottom of the pan. 

He makes note that he still has to get more gauze from the town, and proper tools to sand down the chairs before he can even think of--

But something interrupts his to-do list. It's so soft, he thinks for a second he's imagining it. But the ladle he's holding clangs against the pot, and he abandons the bowls with such hurry that he wouldn't be surprised if it's in shards.

He races up the stairs, three at a time, his heart is thumping louder than the floorboards creaking.

It’s silent. He can hear his own arm whirring quietly.

He lets out a breath when he sees you haven’t changed positions since he last saw you, and wordlessly turns to head back downstairs to an over-bubbling cauldron of soup. 

"Bucky?"

It’s almost like eternity whooshes past his ears when he realises that he wasn't imagining it.

“Hey.” He drops without a second thought to your bedside, knees scraping against the wood. “Hey. Hi sweetheart. What do you need?”

“Water,” your voice is hoarse and just above a whisper, but you’re looking at him.

You’re fucking looking at him, and your eyes are a share darker than he remembers them being.

He makes a grab for the jug by your bed and holds a full glass to your lips carefully, watching as water treacles in through chapped lips. 

"How are you feelin’?" He hates how shaky his voice sounds, as if he wasn't prepared. As if he hadn’t been waiting.

It takes a second for you to form the word. "Tired."

His fingers brush against your cheek. "What can I do for you?"

You don’t respond, and he watches your chest rise and fall heavily again. You were asleep again.

He bites into his lower lip so hard he can taste the rust of his blood. Moonlight filters in through your curtain and he runs his thumb over the corner of your eye, placing a kiss on your forehead.

It was a start.

___________

Bucky grew up with siblings he outlasted and an absolute wildfire of a friend. It was safe to say the man had more patience than most.

The same conversation repeats three more times over the next few days, and he answers each time with as much tender refrain as the first, begging to know where he can help and what he can do.

“Tired” turns to “I’m tired” turns to “I’m just tired”, and with each he is as proud and hopeful as he was when you talked the first time. 

You begin to eat finally, and he hopes his skills aren’t bad enough to send you to the other side again. Spoonfuls of soup. Bites of bread. A glass of water, and then two. 

“Buck,” you rasp.

And he’s as ready as he was the previous day, with a gentle, “Tell me, sweetheart.”

You’ve already gotten a slice of bread into you today, and you’ve slept through the night. He’s considering this one of the best days you’ve had so far, and that alone is triumph enough to ease the anxiety that pervades him. 

“I was dead.” But this was new. 

Bucky blinks, not sure if he heard you right. Your eyebrows knitted together tells him he did. 

“You were,” he confirms, not daring to breathe. 

“But now…” you trail off, as if you were expecting to wake up that minute. 

His Adam’s apple shifts up and down. “Things changed.”

“How?” you ask, eyebrows pulling together even tighter, and he worries it takes energy that could be used elsewhere.

The muscles in his jaw tighten anxiously. The floorboards press into his knees. 

"You did something?" your voice comes back quietly. 

His silence is enough of an answer.

"How long was I gone?"

"It’s been a while, honey," he replies, eyes never leaving yours. 

Your head turns to face the ceiling, a deep exhale working its way through you. Bucky's eyes drift to the scar on your stomach, hidden under the fabric. Thorny and broken.

"Who knows?"

His gaze shifts back to your face, but you aren't looking at him.

"Only me," he says, voice unwittingly dropping before adding, "and Wanda."

"Wanda," you repeat quietly. "It was magic."

Something familiar sets into Bucky's chest. Heavy, pressing down on his throat and making the bile rise.

"I'll get you more water," he says, pausing briefly to look at you, but you continue to stare at the roof. "I'll be right back."

You don’t have a response for him. As he makes his way to the door, it follows like a shadow. He pauses by the frame to look at you once again, but your eyes have closed.

Bucky watches for a second, swallowing thickly. It feels all too similar to guilt.

__________

Bucky dedicates himself even more vigorously to the house. He finally takes out the cutlery, cleans it up the best he can and wipes down the table every single day.  He spends the day collecting fruits for juices and vegetables for broth. Firewood. Making sure everything is sharp enough to use, and the traps he set up in his initial time here were still functional.

He checks to see if the trees can take the weight of the swing he’s hoping to fashion out of bark. How fast it would take to polish the porch chairs and flooring, and what exactly it would take to do that.

No matter how much he cleans, it isn’t enough to wipe the look on your face from where it was seared into his brain like hot iron.  

A week later he's in the garden, digging up the ground to plant seeds. It's January, and it's still fucking freezing, but he's gonna fucking try anyway.

He's got a hold of seeds of poppy, marigold, daisies and who knows what else, and plenty of fucking time.

"You garden now?"

He looks up in surprise. You lean against the backdoor, no winter coat on even though it's freezing. It flashes in his mind that you look paler than you used to, and he wonders if that will go in time. 

“I’ve always gardened,” Bucky defends weakly, and tries to keep his tone normal. “Just– not well.”

Arms crossed over your chest, you ask, “Has that changed?"

“Can’t say it has, sweetheart." He looks at the mess he's created on the ground. "'M tryin', though.”

The corner of your lip upturns into a faint smile. His stomach twists painfully.

"You're up," he says, a little too late. It came faster than he thought it would. Then again, you weren’t human. You didn’t always listen to the laws of nature. 

"Y'feeling cold?" he adds quickly. 

You shrug, pushing off from the door to slowly take a seat. Your legs dangle off the ledge of the porch, barefoot. Bucky waits for you to swing your legs like you always have but you stay still.

He dusts his hands on his jeans and stands, tugging his jacket off his shoulders and holding it out to you. "Can I?" 

"Go on," you allow, and he drapes it around your shoulders, making sure it isn't likely to slip off before stepping back.

A draft blows past you both without either of you saying a word. Discarding the little shovel on the ground, Bucky chooses to take a seat beside you instead.

"You will feel cold, won't you?" 

"I'll be fine, don't worry 'bout me," he reassures. 

"Seems like you have it covered already," you say, making a motion to imitate the shape of his beard. "Mighty fine mane you've got there, James. You could give Odin a run for his money."

He gives a short chuckle, threading his hands through his hair that reaches down to his shoulders.

He’s finding it hard to formulate words. He couldn’t even tell if his mind was racing or entirely blank.

"You've got grey in your beard now," you observe. It sounds wistful. Sad even, and all of a sudden he’s left realising that he doesn't know how long it has been for you.

"Been a while since I got a haircut." 

Christ, he was drier than a brick. His conversational skills and charm had deserted him along with the rest of his luck. 

You lift your eyes from his beard to his face, scanning from his hairline down to his chin. "You look as handsome as you always have," you say and his heart jumps. "Just a bit..."

Sadder. Tired. Mistrusting.

"Older," you settle on.

He'd grown more wrinkles than he could count, and his skin didn't bounce back as much as it used to.

Beyond that, he smiled a lot less. He spent more time thinking than verbalising.

“You need help?” He hears you ask faintly, head gesturing to the patch of dug-up mud.

“You need to get rest,” Bucky shakes himself out of it. “I’ll get you some–”

“I’ve rested long enough, Buck,” you say assertively. 

He wonders if you did. Bucky remembers what you told him of Asgardian funerals. How your body is set floating along a river, and your soul lifts towards the sky to rest. You never got to have that. He doesn’t even know if they sent an empty log along a cold river.

"Tomorrow?" he delays.  

You look at him briefly before nodding.The ground stays untouched and the sky still greys. Bucky sees you take a few deep breaths, shuddering when a draft of wind blows by. He silently shrugs off his scarf too, and wraps it around your neck loosely.

You simply let him. Minutes pass in silence, and neither of you make any motion to move. 

You bump your shoulder into his. "I see you haven't fixed the TV yet."

A swift exhale leaves him in the form of a laugh. He turns away so that you don't see how his eyes begin to burn.   

"Sorry, honey," he croaks out, "I've been distracted."

The smile you give him is melancholic, and that's enough to dissolve his red eyes from a warning into tears.

_________

Bucky buys every single streaming platform available, and every channel available on cable.

That night he takes apart every single component of the television, wipes it down and puts it back together better than before. He only rests when it's 2am and the sound of late night commercials softly flood the living room.

__________

Bucky takes the guest bedroom, initially, a floor away from you to give you the space you need. 

He then realises it's too far, it's too risky. Sheepishly, he shifts to the same room as you, but makes himself a place to sleep on the floor with blankets and a pillow.

You voice your protest, and even though he’s spent three years curled up beside your sleeping frame, he says his back could use the hard surface now. 

He gets you clothes from town. Sweaters and socks, scarves. Things he knew you used to like and things he always promised he'd get if he had another chance. You take them with a small smile and a thanks. He sees you wear them around the house, and while they're exactly the size they should be, and the colours he knows you love.

There's a nagging feeling in him that they don't sit right. They don't look right. Still, you wear them on the days you can leave the bed. He shows you around the house. The good parts, at least, and pretends like that’s how he’s always lived even though he can tell you see right through his facade. 

He’s there when you thrash around at night. Bucky's up before the minute is even over, at your side and gently calling your name till you jolt awake. He hands you glass after glass of chilled water, rubbing your back in circles till the wave passes. It’s entirely too reminiscent of what you used to do for him, and he hopes the familiarity would do you good. 

Sometimes you tell him what you saw. Darkness enveloping you for hours, holding you close and sliding its vines over you, binding your limbs like rope before you're shoved into blinding light.

“Last I remember was the fight," you say one night, as he wipes the sweat from your forehead. "I cannot tell how much of it was real, it's--"

And you pause and struggle, and he's at a loss for words because you never have been. You've always known what to say. You've always had a thought you wanted to share. 

"Thor told me a little bit," he offers quietly. "If you'd want, I'd tell ya."

You look at him, conflict raging behind drained irises. "I was fighting. I heard them say something about-- there was a building with civilians hiding."

"Yeah, there was," he confirms, voice tight.

"They wanted to-- do something to it." You close your eyes, brows furrowing in concentration. "I told Thor I would get them out before anything happens. We had done it so many times before."

"He said there was an explosion."

The sky explodes from the early azure of dawn to a blinding white to a blood-curdling crimson.

And Bucky was too slow to get you out.

"I don't remember that," you say and his eyebrows furrow. "I remember--"

Bucky watches you hesitate for a second before your hands nimbly move the fabric of your shirt slightly to reveal the outline of the scar, inhaling sharply. 

"I wasn't careful enough. There were civilians I was getting out and someone from behind--"

It dawns in a slow realisation the reason why the scar hadn’t healed yet. Why it stood out from the others that littered your skin. Bucky had thought for this long that you'd died in a blaze, trapped under bricks and mortar. That you had been left suffocating because he hadn't been fast enough, that he wasn't good enough.

"I knew I would not be awake for long. I just wanted to get rid of as many of them as I could."

"The building came down." He swallows the rock in his throat. "We spent days searching through it."

"I think I was gone before the explosion happened."

It makes sense-- the sky shifted all too quickly that day. You were gone before he even had the chance. Your fate had already been sealed. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I should have been there.”

“I’m glad you weren’t. It wasn’t a pretty sight.”

"That's not–" his words come out in a rush, stumbling over each other, insistent. "If I was there--"

"There is no point in punishing yourself," you interrupt his spiral. "It was a choice I made. I would do it again. It was what had to be done."

He swallows thickly when he knows the conversation ends there. 

__________

Some nights Bucky settles on pressing a kiss to your knuckles, and lingers there for a second longer than he should. 

You turn to face him from your place on the bed, looking at him like you've known him for centuries. Some nights it feels like you have.

_________

Bucky builds you a swing. It's a little ridiculous, and it takes a whole week to do it.

But your face breaks into the biggest smile he's seen since you got here, and he can taste the sun on his tongue. The strange feeling in his stomach is alleviated for a moment, and replaced with something closer to pride.

You spend hours on it while he works on parts of the house. He makes sure you've got a blanket with you at all times, even though you’ve never once told him you feel cold.

You ask him questions about everything. Him, the world; like you’re trying to relearn what you’ve lost.

"How long ago did you buy this place?" 

"Nearly two years ago," he replies, paintbrush in hand as he swipes up and down the deck. "Owners hadn't come here in a while and they wanted it off their hands quick, so I made an offer."

You hum, using the balls of your feet to swing yourself higher. "I have always wondered what it would be like to live in a place like this."

Bucky’s painting halts for a second as he fights a smile, but he doesn't respond. The squeaking of the swing stops. He looks over to you, only to find you already looking at him.

"Is this why you bought it?" you accuse.

Bucky returns to painting the wood, face turned away.

"You are far more of a hopeless romantic than I ever remember you being."

He scoffs out a laugh. "You'd'a run away."

"I wouldn’t have." You narrow your eyes. "I have had suitors in the past who've done far worse. You are far from the most embarrassing."

"You laughed when we kissed for the first time," he points out, amused.

Your jaw drops. "That was because I wasn't expecting it. You'd been courting me for months, I thought you were never going to move beyond that."

"I was tryin' t'be a gentleman," he defends. "I didn't know how they do it in Asgard."

"Well, for starters, they don't kiss someone after dropping tiramisu all over them."

He cringes, but it doesn't escape him that memories of the both of you feel like they're accompanied by a light this time, instead of dread. "Could you blame a fella for bein' nervous?"

"I do not know why, you had no reason to be."

He wants to ask if you've seen yourself before. He was damn near pissing himself whenever you got too close to him. The tiramisu was just collateral damage from when you chose to wipe cream smudged at the corner of his lip that night. 

When he lifts his head to look at you, you're back to swinging. Back to your own world. A new one you seem to have constructed for yourself since you came back. Back then he was privy to all your thoughts, no matter how mundane they were.

Right before he goes back to painting the deck, his brain makes a small connection. It's a small detail, but one that holds a lot more weight the more he begins to notice.

Your back curves in on itself ever so slightly. No longer pin-straight. His grip on the brush grows a little tighter.  

__________

February rolls around. Bucky's only managed to work up the courage to hold your hand occasionally when you go for walks.

Fingers laced in yours, he shows you parts of the woods he's discovered that stray from the main path. The shrubs that look like they're alight when the sunset catches them. The trees that have a hole right through the centre, like they've taken a bullet.

You keep him out longer and longer, and by now he’s run out of things to show you. He ends up repeating a lot, but you look glad each time, like you’re learning something new about him each day even though he’s dredged you through the same mud path at least thrice now.

He wants to think that it’s because you like having longer to hold his hand. 

You listen intently, asking questions whenever you could. You let him know what parts you like better, and parts you’re glad he’s left behind, even if it was recent. 

Bucky blushes from head to toe when you pick a flower and tuck it into his hair, and you smile it away with a swing of your hand. 

"You get visitors?" Your mouth moves in tandem with your fingers that weave together a crown from stray leaves and blades of grass. You tell him, even though he remembers, that it was something you learnt from Sif growing up. 

"Sam drops by every now 'n then."

"Do you visit them?" you ask, hands twisting deftly and with skill of someone who’s done this all too many times. "How has everyone been?"

Should he tell you he's been sequestered? That he dropped everything and disappeared overnight because the questions of 'are you fine?' and 'do you want to talk?' became as suffocating as a thick cloud of smoke.

"Last I heard, they were doin' alright." He hopes it's enough.

"I tried talking to Thor," you tell him casually, but it feels like a cold fist clamps down on his chest. 

“And?”

“I couldn’t hear him,” you tell him, just as normally and he’s disgusted that he feels even the tiniest bit of relief. “I couldn’t hear Heimdall either. I know he’d respond if he could hear me, so I can only assume he hasn’t.” 

“You’re sayin’ you’re not able to talk to them?” His voice sounds small.

“I believe I lost the ability to communicate with them,” you tell him, tying the last bit of grass together. “I don’t think there is precedence for when someone comes back from the dead.”

You hand him the crown, and Bucky doesn't dare to meet your eyes. It’s too small for him. It’s closer to the size for a child. 

"'M sorry, honey," he mumbles. It returns to his stomach. The sick, gnawing feeling that he’s tried to obtain salvation for.

"I still have you,” you tell him, “But you were here for this long without anyone. It must have been lonely.”

Truth be told, he never really noticed. It almost seems like he’s forgotten how it felt.

"Hasn't been for a while, now." He squeezes your hand.

"I don't like the idea of you staying here alone.” Your eyes scan his face. "You deserve to be around others."

Bucky doesn't know what it is about the way you say it-- like you're not entirely sure you're here either. Like you aren't real. 

He calls your name, unsure, scared even. You answer with a hum. 

"Are you okay with being here?" It’s too late to be asking this. 

Your face pulls together thoughtfully, but he can't decipher what you're thinking.

"I like spending time with you. Always." 

Your head leans on his shoulder, and you resume the tune you’re humming. Bucky tries not to think about the fact that you haven't quite answered his question.

_________

He wakes up on the ground again, not to your muffled groans or bed sheets being thrown to the ground.

You're not in bed. The window is open. There's scattering downstairs, and it's followed by a strange scent, and for a second he panics.

He scrambles down the stairs, mind already conjuring pictures and images so vile and ghastly--

But all he sees is you in his biggest shirt, one that you yourself once got him as a joke for a punchline he can’t really remember right now.

And you're surrounded by broken pans, bent forks and an entirely indiscernible charred mass on the bottom of a skillet.

"I tried to cook," you admit, "like on TLC."

"And you broke the pan?" he asks, a little stunned, a lot more in love. 

"I did not realise your cookware would be so weak." You try so desperately to hide a smile. "Tried to scrape it off using the fork."

He looks at the misshapen piece of cutlery.

"And what's that?" He slowly makes his way into the kitchen towards you.

"The remnants of a frittata." You hold it out to him.

Bucky takes the handleless skillet from you and looks at the ashes.

"What do you think?" you ask.

Bucky holds it back out to you. "Could use a few more minutes on the stove."

The smile you try to hold back breaks into laughter and his face lights up in surprise. It's the first time since you've gotten here, and the first time in years since he's been graced with the sound.

He bites his lip when you take it back from him, all while still giggling, like he doesn't quite believe his ears.

"I do believe I would fare better at toas-- oof."

Bucky pulls you into his chest, arms wrapping around you like a weighted blanket. The pan drops to the counter as his head falls to your shoulders.

"I missed you so fuckin' much," he utters desperately into your neck, clenching his eyes closed so tight it hurts.  

"I missed you too," you say softly, arms circling his waist, pulling him closer.

___________

The days start to get warmer. Your skin still stays cool to the touch. It's something he's getting used to. For years he was used to waking up at night to turn down the thermostat, just so that he could stay under the covers with you without burning up.

But while good days increase, there are the ones you spend too feverish to get out of bed. You sleep the whole day, only waking when he brings you food.

March fades the dark circles around your eyes as much as it can, but they never truly go. The scar on your stomach doesn't heal beyond a certain point, and is always ready to turn garish and violent on days you can't get your head to lift.

Bucky wonders if you’ll ever get better. 

Fevers break when the mornings do. You tell him you dream of the same thing over and over. Darkness, holding onto you with the same tenacity as a mother stops a child from running into a flame.

You walk with your shoulders drooped, and always some sleep in your smile. Sometimes he hears you call for your parents, who he knows haven't been around for a few hundred years. He hears Thor's name, and Loki's during nights that are more peaceful.

On days that are good, you spend time helping with the garden and for once, the flowers start growing. Tree bark he can't break into two, you manage with one hand. You watch shows together on the couch, and he massages your head when it's in his lap.

And finally, Bucky shows you the lake when it thaws over. Crystal clear waters let you peer at the little plants growing on the bottom, and the sunlight glows in the ripples.

You notice the engraving on the boulder before he has the chance to divert your attention. When you ask, he tells you about the little memorial and the rain and the loss of the hair tie. 

Your hand squeezes his a bit tighter. He thinks no memorial can hold a candle to that.

You look at your reflection in the water a lot. Bucky sits beside you, skipping stones to see how far it can go, like he did in the harbour as a kid. Steve always used to win, no matter how much Bucky tried. 

"There was a lake by my school when I was child," you tell him. "When I was mad, I used to skip class to go sit there for hours."

“What made you mad?” He chuckles.

“A lot of things. I had too much energy to just sit there, and that was ‘unbecoming of a future leader of Asgard’.” Your face pulls into one of distaste. “I always thought there was more to learn about the world than what their books contained.”

Bucky collects a few pebbles from around him. "Did the lake make you feel better?"

"Always." You take a stone from him to skip across the surface. "Sometimes my friends used to join. Our elders said the water had the ability to remember. Loki used to make faces, and it would always linger for a few seconds before it disappeared. Even after we thought he was gone, I'd see his face there."

Bucky stays quiet, nodding at points to let you know he was listening.

"I used to see younger versions of myself sometimes," you continue, voice distant. "It always surprised me. I thought I used to know what I looked like. It was different each time."

You inch towards the shoreline, leaning forward on your knees. The clear water looks like an open sky underneath you. "I look different now, too," you say. "But I can't remember what I used to look like."

Bucky discards his stones to come join you, leaning down to where you were. The face staring back at him pulls a sick, twisted feeling in his gut. Deep in him, he knows what you're talking about extends beyond immediate impressions. Centuries of being intertwined with the universe had always given you lines and traces that transcended your physical appearance. 

You have always felt like the God of the Night.

Now you have been to the other side and returned, seen things others haven't and still kept intact. While he doesn't have the courage to admit it, he knows in his blood what you feel like. 

He's scheduled an appointment with him many times, but always just missed it.

Now, you feel closer to the God of Death.

"You've always been beautiful. Still are." It's a band aid on a gaping, festering wound.

Even still, you look at him with a smile. "So are you."

Bucky makes the mistake of looking at his visage in the water, and immediately recoils.

"Christ," he grunts at the difference between the both of you. "What a fuckin' mess."

"Oh, it isn't that bad," you laugh, watching him contort his face.

"Easy for you to say, you look stunning." He points to your reflection. "I look like I was raised by wolves."

"You just need a shave," you hum.

"I need a new face."

You leave aside his last comment to propose something entirely new instead, "I could do that for you."

"What? Give me a new face?" he asks and you give him a pointed look. "Oh. Shave my beard?"

"Same thing, no?"

He supposes so. "Alright," he agrees, with a certainty reserved for no one else. 

A small smile appears on your face, even though you aren't really looking at him.

Bucky watches you lean forward. Your fingers dip into the water, disturbing the reflection.

_____

Late evening finds you settled on the counter, armed and ready. "Lot of trust you're putting in me."

"I'd trust you with anything," he says, looking in the mirror to check once again that foam covers every inch of hair on his jaw. "You know this."

"Still," you note, watching him tilt his chin up. "I could do this with a dagger, if you'd like."

"This works fine, thanks."

You let out a laugh, and he finally steps in front of you, satisfied with his part. You swish the razor into water once again just in case, before leaning forward.

The first swipe goes agonisingly slow. Bucky watches your face screw up in concentration as you scrape down his left cheek.

You pull back and make a face. He raises his eyebrow in question.

"You are too far away," you declare, wrapping an arm around his bicep and tugging him closer.

Your legs wrap around his waist to keep him in place, locking behind his back. His breath hitches in his throat the proximity but you appear entirely unfazed, washing the razor again.

"Are you okay?" you ask, keeping one hand on his neck for balance as you get a much better go at his face.

"Yep," he thinks he says. It may just have been a sound.

You could have spent hours there for all he cares. He's too focused on the pressure of your legs on the small of his back and the way he's basically melted into your hand.

"Your eyes have always been my favourite feature," you tell him, blade carefully running down the curve of his jaw. "When you smile hard, there are these lines in the corner. It's like you can't handle being that happy."

He can't tear his sight from you, and from the fact that this is the closest you’ve been in years. You may as well have been telling him utter nonsense, and he'd still find it hard to control his breathing.

"But I have a soft spot for this." You lightly tap the bridge of his nose. He knows immediately what you're talking about. "I will never forget how stupid you were. Throwing yourself in front of danger like that."

"Couldn't let that guy touch you," his voice comes out an octave lower than what it was. "I'd gladly take a few more punches."

"That's why they stopped pairing us up on missions." The corner of your lip upturns, and you swish the razor around in water again. "You were being reckless."

"I'd do it again."

"One scar is enough." You tilt his jaw to see if you'd gotten everything. "I don't enjoy you getting hurt on my account."

Bucky exhales deeply when you get started on the other side. His hands itch to hold your waist, pull you closer like it’s been carved into the strands of his being, but they stay by his side. 

"I tried for so long after you were gone," he tells you instead, to gain a sense of control. "I went to the therapist. I tried talkin' about it. No one got it. It was the same thing over, and over."

How do you explain that it wasn't simply a person. He thought that that was where it ended-- everything in his life had finally culminated. And that was taken too.

"Went back to the roof a month after everything happened," he continues, studying your reaction. "It was s'ppsed to be a clear night. There was nothing in the sky. I couldn't see the constellations. I couldn't see your family-- I couldn't see you."

You listen intently, but never stop working at him. The longer you spent there, the more of his old face revealed itself to you. Worn, and aged a thousand years in a few months, but it was still the still face you swore to love and cherish for aeons. 

"They took all your stuff. Said it belonged to Asgard, they couldn't keep it here. Thor went off grid. All I had was pictures of us and the hair tie you gave me."

You clean the razor off in water, eyebrows furrowing at the information.

"It felt like you were never here. Like I'd just made you up all those years." You can hear the faint trembling in his voice. "But I had memories of you in all these places-- and I couldn't stay. It was easier to move here and start again."

Looking back at him, you realise you've already finished. There was nothing left on his face to clear.

"Was it hard?" you ask finally, letting go of the razor in the water. 

He looks at you, and you know he's struggling to form the right words. He looked like he wanted to scream, rip the hair out of his scalp, punch a hole through the mirror. 

"More than anything.” His voice comes out raw and peeling. 

Bucky watches you look at him for a long moment, and he wonders if he’s said too much too soon.

But instead you kiss him.

His arms find its way back home around your waist, and he feels you sigh against his mouth before your body relaxes, tilting your head to deepen it.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there,” you breathe, forehead leaning against his. 

"Don't," he begs.

You search his eyes for any kind of a message.

He kisses you harder, pulling you flush against him.

__________

Bucky moves into your bed after you threaten him well and good, and he knows you intend to keep your promises.

For the first time since he can remember, he keeps the windows open throughout the night and throughout the day.

It’s foolish, to think he was invincible. That what you had had finally cemented itself as final.  

You both stay in as long as you want. There is no hurry, nothing to get to. You talk a lot more. You begin to tell him sometimes at night that you see glimpses of what seemed like beyond the end.

Gold. Blood of ichor. Warriors fallen in battle go to Valhalla. Trees that kissed the skies, and valleys so green it hurt. Sometimes, in the corner of your eyes, you could see those you'd lost over the years waiting for you, hand outstretched.

No matter how hard he tries, Bucky doesn’t seem to get it. Every time he thought he was dead, there was only jet black silence and crushing pain. Then again, he never truly died.

But he isn’t ignorant. Fevers and fatigue that initially lasted a day, now knock you out for a week. There are times you throw up more than you've eaten, and the dark circles look like abysses.

He worries to the point of his stomach churning. You look like you don't have the energy to be here, even though you kiss him like you do. 

Bucky runs his hands over your scalp and tells you stories of his childhood. What he felt when you moved in with him, how anxiety made space for comfort. He reads you tales from other mythologies and marks the similarities in the stories you've told him over the years.

Each time you come around your smile gets more tired. Your shoulders grow heavier and your skin loses colour.

You still cook breakfast together. You still watch TLC together to figure out the culture on earth because even after all this while, you still maintain that's the best way to do it.

Things could still be good. But more often than not, Bucky wonders if he’s unknowingly surrendered you to a life you do not wish to live. 

_______

"Sweetheart?"

You continue to drag your finger through the water, oblivious to what he's saying. 

He calls your name, and there's still no response. April sees this happening more often, and Bucky's learnt that no matter what he does, it only seems to worsen.

He touches your shoulder lightly and you almost jump.

"It's getting late. Wanna head back?" he asks, because you’ve skipped out on lunch to stay by the shore the whole day. It seems like it’s the only place you want to be. 

"Yeah." You give him a small smile, wiping your hands on your pants.

"Want a hand?" he asks, holding out his.

You grab it, and pull yourself up, giving him a small peck on the lips along the way.

It feels comically normal. He wants to pretend that it is.

"Pasta tonight?" you ask breezily, slipping your hand into his.

Your fingers are ice cold to the touch. He forces back a shudder.

"Anything you want," he promises.

__________

He catches you humming as you water the plants, when you walk with him, while you read from the end of the bed. 

It's the song of my people, you tell him. They used to sing it when everyone was together.

He listens to the tune and tries to commit it to memory, but it changes far too often.

May catches you staring a lot more often. At walls. The trees. The lake is the worst.

On what would have been the fifth anniversary of the both of you being together, he brings you a cake. The both of you share it over a glass of wine, even though it clashes terribly and leaves an aftertaste.

You laugh harder than you have in the last few weeks and he gets to feel triumphant for an evening. 

You chase the frosting on his lips with a searing kiss, and that's that.

“What do you suppose it means?” you ask later that night, arm wrapped around his middle.

“What?” he mumbles, drowsy from a full stomach and good time.

“That I got a second chance and others didn’t?” your voice sounds distant.

Bucky is suddenly very awake.

“It couldn’t be that they weren’t as loved," you continue. "So then what made me different?"

He doesn’t have an answer.

He rolls over to look at you. But you are staring at the ceiling once again.

_________

His unwavering faith that he can learn to live with it feels like it’s eroding. 

Death changes everyone. He knows that before Steve left a few years ago, he wasn't the same Brooklyn-born spitfire. Steve's died a dozen or so times. He was reborn into a different soul each time.

Spring bounds towards you with warmth and life. The grass is greener, and Bucky's learnt there's more to life than just casseroles and toast.

You bring him more flowers to tuck into his hair. He wears them dutifully, and then learns to press them in between pages of books you both buy from old bookshops.

You give him wider smiles. You talk a lot less. 

Bucky learns that silence doesn't have to be filled. He's loved you in the winter, and he loves you in spring.

But there is always a tension simmering under the surface, just out of reach, like the sky reflecting in the lake. 

Sometimes you say things that he can't quite make sense of. Sometimes it's a lot more obvious, and the same feeling of guilt returns to his chest and flowers under his ribs.

So he asks you one day. You're on the couch, head in his lap while he reads a book you've annotated the week before. The only disturbances are when he stops occasionally to ask you why you liked a line, or why you drew a heart next to another.

You're humming the tune he can’t catch. 

There's nothing really wrong, but he knows. He can feel it in his marrow.

“Sweetheart," he calls gently. 

You look up at him. 

"Are you– are you happy?” And he leaves his heart, raw and unprotected on the line.  

You don’t look surprised. Not entirely knowing either.

A beat passes before you open your mouth to speak. 

“I like being here with you. I love you, I always have, and I will always love being here with you,” you choose your words carefully. “But I don’t know if I can feel that anymore. Happiness, I mean. Or sadness.”

Bucky keeps the book down. You don't lift your head from his lap.

“I feel like there’s a void where my body should be,” you continue in a chance to explain, “I feel like I'm made of air.”

“Are you feeling under the weather?” Bucky tries to find a rationalisation. Anything, that he can fix. That he can control.

You slight him a smile. “Not since the last bout.”

He doesn't know. He doesn't want to get it. He’s always felt that he was selfish, that that was ultimately what led to his punishments. This was a whole new level.

“I was born on Asgard. I have always felt like I was a part of the mud and the riverbed. They were a part of me as much as I was, them. I don’t know if that’s still…”

You pause, and Bucky feels time come to a standstill around him. 

“I’ve been reborn here,” you continue. “I don’t feel like anything is mine. I don’t feel like… I am a part of something. Even the night.”

He knew. Though he knows in his dreams he can still feel traces of Brooklyn carved into his bones, it had jaded over time, been eroded by years of waking up in places he couldn't place.

You sit up to look at him. Your eyes have an intensity to it that even the universe couldn't mask. 

“Do you really like who I am now?” you ask finally.

“I love all of you. Every one.” Ever changing, transient.

“How?” you ask softly. “I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

He swallows thickly and wills himself to ignore the chill creeping into his body. In truth there is so much he wants to say. He doesn't think that as a war-fractured man from the thirties who grew up in bloodshed will really have the sufficient words.

“I just do. Can’t help it.”

Even if you aren’t satisfied with his answer, he will never know it. He has known for a while now that he's been letting you down since the day he walked into Wanda's cabin.

You give him a slight smile. Lay your head back down on his lap. His book remains unread.

It felt like the beginning of the end.

It's a simple decision then. It would have been, for anyone who wasn’t born with a soul as corrupt as his.

One more week that is hard for you to get up from bed, turns into two. One more week that your face morphs into something he can’t quite recognise. He's never wanted to harm someone he loves, but he seems to do a fine job at it.

It's a simple decision, really. But simple didn't mean easy-- God knows he is anything but a saint.

When you see it finally, the fruits of a labour that took far too less time to manifest than justified the time he spent putting it off, the smile that appears on your face is blinding, he wonders how the sun even has the gall to shine.

“Thor,” you breathe out, only seconds before being engulfed in the most bone-crushing hug you’ve ever received.

Bucky watches from the sidelines, fingers wringing and entirely ready to be smithed to ashes.

“I came as soon as I heard,” he breathes into your shoulder. "I cannot believe this."

You pull back, and standing next to Thor gives Bucky a new frame of reference. One that isn't dependent on how you looked the week prior. He doesn't know how it slipped past him, how he hadn't noticed that you looked so different.

“You look wonderful." You grin at the behemoth of a man. "Your hair has grown out once more."

"They can try cutting it off my dead body," he replies defiantly, arms clasping at your shoulders to keep enough distance to study you from head to toe. "You'll have to give me a second. I didn't think this would be true, when Heimdall gave me James' message."

You look over at Bucky whose lips pull together in a tight line. 

He looks embarrassed. Unsure. Afraid. Guilty, and prepared to be berated for how long it took him. 

"It's true," you reply instead, giving him a smile. "Here, in the flesh."

Thor squeezes your shoulder once more, and laughs the same laugh he's always had around you. Loud, boisterous and entirely free. 

"The others will be thrilled. Sif, Hogun-- you have no idea how the past two years have been. There is so much to catch you up on."

Bucky knows. The fact that you're standing there today is living proof that he knows so well.

“I cannot wait to meet them." The corner of your lips upturn wider at his enthusiasm. "I've missed them terribly."

"We did not get to give you a proper farewell. Your welcome back will be a thousand times better," Thor says brightly. "We can return as soon as you say the word."

You look to Bucky, not for permission, but as a question he's known has been awaiting him a long time.

"Ready?" you ask softly.

He knows you didn't have to ask. That if you'd left him there and never returned, he'd deserve it and worse.

But you're you-- patient and kind. And he thinks that he can try to start redeeming himself.

__________

Turns out he wasn't wrong. Asgard really is too grand for a fella like him.

It is opulence-- gold and towering heights that bleed the love of its citizens and a history richer than words can contain.

Thor is smart. Aside from Heimdall, who greets you with the hug a father gives a child who's been away for too long, no one knows of your appearance until you are ready.

You get a few days in the tower to yourself, to breathe in the air that grew your lungs and touch the marble you've split your head open against in the past. The help are sworn to secrecy, and no one knows who Bucky is anyway except as the man who has been specifically allotted to the same room as you upon your request.

It doesn't take long for your face to pick up. Your skin comes alive with a vibrancy he didn't think he'd see again. You sleep sounder at night, and you eat more than you've had the appetite for in the last few months.

He trails behind you and Thor initially, not wanting to eavesdrop into conversations he has no place being a part of.

But you grab his hand, lace your fingers in his and tug him along as if to say that this is his home too.

He sees what you mean when you say that you are connected to the land. Clothes on Earth have never fit you right. Silks from Asgard decorate you like you are one in the same, like it flows from you.

_________

Reunions are a tearful affair. Lots of hugs are exchanged, punches to the shoulder, and kisses to various parts of your face.

“You have been alive for months, and we are just now learning of it,” Sif holds your hands in hers. 

“It took me a while to recover.” You give her a small smile. 

“We would have come as soon as you called,” she continues. “You did not have to heal alone.”

“I wasn’t alone.”

Eyes turn over to Bucky, and he’s suddenly very aware that the clothes he’s been given are too rich for him, too grand. He feels small, like they drown him out.

Despite what he’s saying, he feels as though he has deprived you. He knows that he has, and he has no one else to blame but himself. 

“Thank you,” Sif says instead, taking him by surprise. “We will remember this.”

“Don’t mention it,” he replies weakly.  

__________

It takes days to meet the closest of your friends, until they decide they had their fill. Bucky is slowly introduced to all of them. Boisterous and loud, most greet him with a wide appreciation. Others are less quick to warm, and he gives himself no room to blame them either. 

Upon insistence, he joins you for your welcome back dinner, and gets a seat right beside you. 

Your hand holds his the entire night, squeezing tighter when something makes you laugh, or when someone is particularly embarrassing.

When there is a lull in the conversation after hours, sly grins are exchanged.

"So, this is the one you raved on and on about." 

His eyebrows quirk in amusement.

"I did not rave," you huff. "I simply informed you--"

"For hours. Days even,” they drag on. “A great warrior from earth with eyes that could rival storms--"

Bucky chokes on his wine. You award your friends with several curses and glares.

"Long hair past his shoulders. Oh, and arms to die for--"

You take in the way his face has gone red, all the way up to his ears. You laugh and grip his hand tightly with an unabashed shrug.

"I am only glad that that's all you remember," you joke.

He thinks he should be buried in the garden for his sanity.

_________

Walks around the castle become increasingly common at night. You are mostly left undisturbed, and you take the opportunity to show him everything you've ached to.

Where you've learnt, where you first scraped your knee. The first arrow you shot. Where your parents met. The first and last time you cried over a friend gone astray.

He can't fathom why he ever thought he wouldn't be ready to know this. As if knowing more about you would cement the fact that he was lesser than.

“You look ethereal,” Bucky tells you one night, honest and true.

You look at him, a bit taken aback. There was nothing particularly different about you this evening. In fact, you’d chosen to stay away from festivities today to lie around the gardens with him, citing a headache.

“I should have said yes earlier,” he continues. “You belong here. It shows.”

A laugh leaves you as an exhale. “It feels different.” You run your fingers through his hair. “I don’t know if it would be the same if I brought you here years ago.”

“Different how?” Bucky closes his eyes and revels in the feeling of your touch.

“I don’t know,” you tell him. “I am not sure it is what I remember it to be.”

You don’t say anymore. Bucky doesn’t ask. 

He lays with you under a clear night sky, and your fingers deftly move the faint lights in the sky to mimic shapes of fishes and hunters. 

He notices the sky here, too, has taken the same fate as it has on earth. Not as full as it could be, always just a little less bright.

He assumed it would change when you came back. He assumed it would change when you came to Asgard.

The sinking feeling in his stomach reminds him of what he already knows is going to come.

_____________

There are nights you are dragged off by your friends for things that don't include him.

You shoot him a sorry smile and he tells you to just go with steady reassurance.

Bucky takes to exploring. He's been given robes to blend in. They always fit in a way that's too soft.

He looks at statues erected, memorials in place for those who've given up their lives for a bigger cause. He spots your name in there as well, as if they've not yet entirely sure that you're back. He spends hours at the library, reading up on things he couldn't find on Earth. Where heroes slain in battle actually go, what it's like over there. Stories of when they are brought back. None of them end well.

Thor finds him, and introduces Bucky to Asgardian mead that he swears got Steve tipsy. Bucky’s had a rough couple of years. He’s in no place to turn down a drink. 

He remembers what it's like to be 21 and drunk again and like nothing bad can ever happen.  When you choose to join in with them, Bucky finds he’s a lot braver and a lot smoother with liquor flowing through his veins. 

Stumbling through tower hallways, giggling and stealing open-mouthed kisses in the shadows like a bunch of teenagers until he has your back pressed up against the bedroom door. 

“Eager?” you breathe out when he nips at your neck, hands scouring every inch of you he can find. 

“What gave it away?” he mutters, pulling away to look you. 

Wild eyes and equally untamed hair, and there is a light in his eyes that outshines supernovae. 

“I love you,” you tell him, and it’s a startling moment of clarity in the middle of a juvenile hour. “I hope that always remains with you.”

Before he can respond, you thread your hands behind his neck and steer him towards the bed, mouth never once leaving his. 

________

Another solitary night, and it's by pure accident that he ends up retracing his steps to the first place he was introduced to in Asgard. He wonders how much of it was intentional, his conscience forcing him to a reckoning long awaiting him. 

Heimdall is there as always, standing tall with a grace that is still threatening. Bucky is not a fool-- he knows he can sense his presence.

Still, he looks only for a moment before making leave. 

"I hear it was magic that brought her back," Heimdall voices.

Bucky pauses in his tracks.

"Yes," he says, like he’s forced to respond.

"Are you aware of what it takes to bring a body back from the dead?" Heimdall asks, tone still. "Cells are broken and reattached if they do not malfunction. The brain is attacked with sensation after being dormant for months. The heart pumps degraded blood through vessels that have collapsed."

Bucky feels bile rise to his mouth at a memory that seems so far away. Enough has happened since.

Heimdall looks at him, steel cut eyes boring into his. “Our ancestors have tried this for centuries,” he says slowly. “It has always ended the same way.”

Bucky keeps silent. Wonders if the God can hear him swallow the lump in his throat– probably can.

“Tempering with fate has never fared well.”

“I’m not trying to play with fate,” Bucky finds himself moving on its own accord. “If this wasn’t supposed to happen, it wouldn’t have. I am not a God.”

Heimdall stares into his soul and Bucky feels suffocatingly exposed. “The separation between divinity and mortals is thinner than you may imagine.”

“I have no interest in crossing it.”

“Haven’t you?” Heimdall’s eyes flicker over to the direction you were last going in. “When your will supersedes reality– what else do you call it?”

“Luck.” His voice comes back stonily.

Heimdall gives him a wry smile. “No such thing.”

Bucky’s palms feel clammy, his stomach twisting into knots.

“Your grief is natural. But do not let it overpower your love,” Heimdall adds. “I am sorry you had to go through this. I'm afraid sooner or later you will have to see that you cannot disrupt the natural order of things.”

"Why?" His voice cracks and he curses himself.

Heimdall's eyes soften. "There comes a point where your love for someone becomes indistinguishable from hurting them. Your intentions are noble, but you already know where you stand."

Bucky quietly turns on his heel and leaves, but the conversation remains heavy on his mind for days to come.

_________

The first time you fall sick, really sick, like you used to be on Earth, Bucky watches from the sidelines as various people tend to you. Those with divinity at their fingertips, those with herbs and concoctions he’d never heard of, others with tools and prayers and everything. 

They try everything. It takes you a full week to recover.

Bucky sits, emotionless by your bedside, and feeds you from a spoon, food that your friends swore you grew up loving. 

Asgard was supposed to work. Being here was supposed to work. No one knows what to do, except to wait it out. As your fever quells and Bucky watches you open your eyes for the first time in a few days, everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says quietly from your bedside. “How can I help?”

The smile you give him is tired. He gives you a small one in return, and leaves a kiss on your forehead. 

It feels all too familiar. 

God of the Night and the Devil of Cursed Fates.

_________

Thor teaches him the song, the one he caught you humming for months. It sounds different to what he remembers you singing.

He watches you thumb through titles in the Asgardian library, looking for a book of wildlife to show him. It only takes a few seconds for you to hum under your breath again, but Bucky is quick to ask this time. 

“Oh.” You blink. “I may have remembered it wrong.”

He tilts his head at you, but you go back to browsing through library books.

___________

Nights in bed, he spends tracing up and down your arm. He's full from a feast, and he's watched you dance around a courtyard with spirit and joy, and for the first time in years he feels like he can breathe.

You drag him along with you, and while he may have been quick on his feet in the thirties, Bucky was significantly older. You don't seem to care. You laugh like nothing has ever worried you before, and he finds it infectious.  

"D'you s'ppose we'd have been married by now?" he asks, breaking the quiet.

"I remember turning down your offer," you say, the corners of your mouth pulling upwards. "So, who's to say?"

Bucky's face breaks into a smile, one that looks particularly incredible in the moonlight. "You said I knew what the answer was already. Looks like that leaves the ball in my court."

You look at him, a little endearingly, and as he's come to expect, a little sad.

"I think we would have," you hum. "But you wouldn't have survived wedding festivities here."

He scoffs, rolling onto his back and feels his stomach ache dully. "Barely holdin' on now as it is."

You pull closer to him, fingers dancing across his chest. "Why didn't you try to find someone else?"

He exhales, sharper than he intends. "Didn't wan'to," he mumbles.

"I'd hate to think you didn't try to find others who loved you," you tell him, brows pulled together, "You have so much of it to give. It'd be a shame."

"Didn't see the point." Bucky hopes he doesn't sound as sharp as he does in his head.

"If something were to happen tomorrow, and I am no longer here," you begin and he wants to beg you to stop talking about this, "It would break my heart if you didn't go on with life as you were meant to live it."

"This is how I'm meant to live." He sounds pathetic-- obsessed, and entirely dependent but he isn't sure you know. "This is it. This is the best it's ever gonna get for me."

You look at him, eyebrows knitted. Your thumb caresses his jaw, running across the sharp curve.

"You deserve more," you say gently. "You do. Life has been unkind, but you will always deserve more."

You’re doing it again. Preparing him. For the inevitable he knows is looming on the horizon. The one he saw in Heimdall's eyes.

Still, you notice that it is too much for him, and you break the tension with a smile.

Outside the window, the sounds of a party continue on. You would be out there too, if he hadn't noticed the slow in your movements and the dip in your energy. He instead gave his lack of stamania as a reason and asked if you would join him in the room, for which you shot him a grateful look.

"You never gave me a ring," you remind instead, voice teasing.

Bucky looks at you wearily before silently getting up from the bed. 

You sit up in confusion, watching him trail across to the wardrobe and pull out the clothes he was wearing on his first day here.

He shuffles back into bed and turns to you, holding out his hand in a request.

It takes a second but you give him yours, and he silently slides a ring onto your finger. Even in the darkness it glitters like it’s made of light.

"I've had it for ages," he tells you. "Woulda given it to you quicker if you'd just said yes the first time."

You laugh loudly, and hold his face in yours before kissing him hard to the sounds of a fading party.

__________

The effect wears off gradually. It goes the same as it does in the cabin. 

You begin to space out visits. Stay in for a day or two, which increases as time passes. Though the castle help are ever gracious and at your beck and call, you send them away in exchange for quiet nights in.

Bucky wipes your forehead with cool cloth. Feeds you nectar by hand and tells you of everything he's learnt since the time you've arrived there.

You begin to look sick again, and miserably, he does not know what to do. You've been attended to by the best of medicine that the nine realms have to offer. You've spent nights with your friends, drinking in joy and embodying love.

But you are dying. You have been since you came back, and he can no longer choose to look past it in hopes for a remedy.

He looks at you like you've given the world the light it bathes in, and wipes your perspiration with his thumb.

You smile back at him in your sleep, and he lets that slow the march towards the end.

_________

One of the good days, you lead him to the lake. The one where water remembers. You point out faces. He discerns them to be some of your friends a couple of hundred years ago.

He follows as you walk along the banks, letting you show him yourself through the years. Some streaked with tears, others with joy so infectious it has his stomach doing flips.

"That is the last time I came here," you point at the last one. "Two months before it happened."

He remembers the trip. He thought he remembered how you were back then, that he'd etched into the crevices of your mind.

When he looks down, he sees a different person. Your face is light. The weight of circumstance does not weigh you down.

You were right when you said you did not recognise the person you were.

That night in bed, he holds onto you tighter than he has, no longer afraid of causing more damage. He has already done the worst, and you've taken it without a word.

“Bucky,” you call.

He doesn’t trust his voice to answer, so he just makes a noise.

Your eyes meet his intently and he knows. You do not have to say a single word to him. 

You’ve made a decision. It was your will, as Wanda had told him all those months ago.

“I'm sorry,” his voice cracks. “I'm so sorry. It was so selfish.”

“It's okay,” you press a palm against his cheek and shudders from the cold.

“I love you.” His eyes burn, but he forces himself to take more of you in. “I love you so much, I'm sorry. I just wanted a second chance.”

“I know.” You smile but your voice is sad. “I know. I understand.”

“I don't know how you aren’t angry at me." I don’t know why you stayed.

You look him in his eye, giving him no space to run. "I would have done the same. If I could, I would have done the very same thing."

He chooses to believe that, despite what Heimdall has told him. If he tries, he can find heat in the frigid veins.

"But we are simply delaying the inevitable, my love." You press a kiss to his forehead. "I no longer belong here. I am not who I was. I doubt I will ever be."

He loves every version of you. He already loved, and he will always learn to love whoever you change to be.

"I know it is hard, but I have to go," you tell him softly.

His eyes burn and his head stings.

"I grew up with friends I loved, and a family that loved me. My life was good," you tell him. "I didn't realise how much I wanted to give that forward until you happened. I will always love you for that."

Bucky kisses you till you can't breathe and his tears mix with yours.

Till the morning breaks and you have to tell everyone of your decision, he tells you over and over again a tale you already know. Everything he's ever felt. Everything that’s happened in the last few months– his revolving door of therapists and all the movies he’s watched and all the bakery foods he thought you'd like.

You listen, and you tell him stories he memorises to heart. You are still dying. 

But this time he is there, and in that lies his true second chance. 

________

A month later, and not a day before that.

You pass away quietly, surrounded by people instead of rubble. He holds your hand throughout, and for long after even once your chest stops rising.

The Asgardians let him stay for as long as he wants, still and quiet. No one says a word as he presses a kiss to the crown, leaning his forehead against yours for as long as the universe permits.

The funeral goes by in a haze. Everyone gathers, even after such short notice. No matter how much time he had to prepare, the air was thick, and he swallows down his discomfort.

A gentle breeze whispers through the columns of the great hall, carrying with it the soft, mournful melodies of Asgardian lyres and flutes.

In the center of the pyre, you lay, ethereal even in repose. Around you, night-blooming flowers bloom alongside, as if the sky itself was paying its respects.

Thor recites the ancient eulogies. With reverent hands, they guide the vessel into the river that flows through Asgard.

As the vessel drifts away, a hush falls over the assembly. Just before reaching the edge of the waterfall, arrows shoot fire onto the wood, letting the flames consume the casket. Bucky holds back a cry. 

Thor hits the staff, and the casket continues onward instead of falling off the edge. Within a flash Bucky sees an orb rise above you and shoot off towards the sky.

Thousands of lights are let loose into the sky. He closes his eyes, says a few words no one will know except you, and lets go of the soul orb given to him.

And that was it.

________

Bucky looks at the last of his belongings, tied tightly together. 

There were a few things he was allowed to take with him, things that belonged to you while you lived here. He's grateful more than anything, that he's not relegated to photos.

He was made to stay a few more days in Asgard while everything was completed. Though the people were lovely, and he's more than glad he came, he knows that this was where this ended.

He exhales, looking back at the place where he spent the better part of three months.

"You will be alright?" Thor asks, walking with him to the courtyard.

He shrugs. It was still fresh, but the utter despair he had felt the last time had been replaced with a quietness.

"You?" he asks in return.

Thor smiles, and claps his back and Bucky is forced to take a step forward.

"It will be an honour to remember her," he says, and for a moment, Bucky feels a sense of peace at his words. "You are always welcome here."

A small laugh leaves Bucky in the form of an exhale. "Don't be a stranger, Thor."

The God summons the Bifrost and the force is enough to make Bucky hold his hands up to his face.

"I'll see you around. Thanks for everything." His lips pull together in a tight smile.

Thor takes a second, but then says, “You will be alright, James.”

It’s reassuring, he thinks. Bucky nods and turns, taking a step towards the bridge.

"Wait," Thor calls loudly, "I almost forgot."

He turns to him in confusion, and a list of possibilities running through his head.

"She told me to give you this," he says, "She used to carry them around for us."

From around his wrist, he pulls off a hair tie and holds it out to him.

Bucky takes it, a little stunned.

________

Two months pass.

Bucky stands on the threshold of a door that is foreign to him.

His head falls, but his arms raise either way. Two swift knocks and he takes a step back. He looks around nervously, hands stuffing into his pocket. His car lays at the end of the long driveway, ready to leave at any given moment.

For a second, he thinks about making a run for it. But the door swings open and Bucky's eyes quickly dart up.

"Hey," he says, voice coarse. "You got space for one more?"

Sam looks at him in initial surprise, but it fades to softness when he notices the shape the man is in.

“C’mon, Buck,” Sam says softly. “We’ve got you.”

Bucky lets out a staggered breath, and leans over to pick up his backpack that Sam's already beaten him to.

He takes one good look at the sky. Dark, clear and finally returned to the way it had been for centuries.

But he swears that a single star in the corner of his eye shines a little brighter than the rest.

[bbbigforehead]

3. How did your OC feel the first time they left home? Why did they leave?

tw: suicide mention

RELIEF. COMPLETE AND TOTAL RELIEF. Like the entire moon had been lifted off of her chest and she was finally able to breathe for the first time. Although, the air she was breathing was being continuously recycled through the shuttle she jerry-rigged together with Roman's help.

Minerva always daydreamed about leaving Titan one day and assumed it would eventually happen, since she was raised under the belief that she and the other children of Titan were to "inherit the stars" and "seed the galaxy" once they were "ready". As the kids become teens, and the teens become young adults, it becomes brazenly clear nobody is ever leaving Titan. And her role on Titan becomes even more brazenly clear. Gadsden's daughter. Roman's wife. And eventually a mother to Roman's children, and the grandchildren of Gadsden and Invictus. More Titans. She attempts to be content with this, but she isn't even able to get anybody to listen to her about fixing up and making life on Titan easier, so why should she have kids? What's the point if they're going to be stuck in the same trap as her? Roman's on the same page as Minerva, so the two of them are able to continue their friendship from before their marriage, without the "expectations of their martial roles" coming into conflict. The older members of The Council, especially Invictus, aren't too happy with most of their children abstaining from having children [there's also a Secret Reason why there aren't a lot of kids on Titan, but nobody on Titan is aware of this until wayyy later on], but they confront Minerva and Roman about it to set an example and because they're the unofficial poster children for Titan as Gadsden and Invictus' children. The Council basically tells Roman he needs to "man up" and start acting like Invictus' son, because it's embarrassing that all he wants to do is play tortured artist with Minerva. And Minerva is told to stay in her place and start "acting like a good wife". Minerva's too stunned at the realization that she's never been viewed as anything more than a baby-maker by The Council, and all her other efforts were for nothing to defend herself in any meaningful way against The Council. Roman's too afraid of his father to say anything, who leads The Confrontation, so he just takes Minerva and leaves the meeting room. Minerva's first thoughts are "suicide pact???", and Roman says, "no. but we CAN kill our fathers and then respectively dip from Titan and head to Mars!". Minerva's very unsure of how they'll get off Titan knowing the researchers who abandoned the base long before they were born did everything in their power while escaping to make sure nobody but them could leave Titan. Roman just kinda shrugs his shoulders and says, "I think you're smart enough to figure it out. We can figure it out together," and Minerva loses her goddamn mind because, "Holy shit, I'm so stupid he's the only one this entire time who's had any faith in me," and agrees to start planning to leave Titan with him. It's also where Minerva's crush for Roman buds, and the two of them grow closer romantically from this point on. [ I won't get into details of The Plan & The Escape for brevity.] Minerva had a LOT of Emotions [mostly about killing Invictus, leaving everything she's ever known behind Forever, and being in space for the first time in the span of a few hours] when she first looked through the viewport and saw the research base getting smaller and smaller until it was just Titan. And then it was just Saturn. And then it was just The Void. She sobbed for HOURS and then fell asleep in the pilot's seat before Roman carried her to one of the beds.

bonus doodles of minerva, roman, gadsden & invictus so putting faces to names is easier <3

[sunflowerhotline]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT. 4

🪁gemini venus gets a lot of flack for having non-commital tendencies when really, they avoid committing to the wrong person. i’ve noticed that when they get into relationships they’re quite steady and remain with their partner for a long while, especially if their venus is aspected by saturn or pluto.

- i’ve also never met a non-committal aquarius venus. idk maybe y’all are just coming across the wrong people

🪁people with taurus moon, cancer moon and cancer/taurus/libra on 5th house cusp are very natural with children. children usually like these people

🪁composite saturn in 4th and 7th indicates a couple that stays together forever

🪁fire moons have a habit of falling in love with air venuses.

🪁scorpio and taurus moons tend to be very loyal and possessive in love, regardless of their venus sign/placement. they usually are committed to their partners and have a laser-focus on them and only them.

🪁leo and libra rising guys are the guys that everyone kinda just falls in love with because of their charm. they are usually so charming, clever and attractive that it’s hard for those around these guys not to be drawn in. leo rising men are usually just really handsome so they especially can just attract lots of female attention.

🪁depending on the signs, people with moon opposite venus can be either very clingy or very detached. i’ve never seen a middle ground with these people. their affection nature is so polarised.

🪁virgo venuses are soooo hard on themselves and usually look for (and find) a million reasons why they’re undeserving of love. they can really project their own low feelings about themselves onto others to almost try to convince themselves that others see them through the lens of meanness and criticism that they see themselves through.

🪁moon-uranus (hard aspect) people usually had a childhood/adolescent conflict involving their mother. they either had a problem with their mother or endured circumstantial hardships with their mother which challenged (uranus) their emotional security (moon). the house uranus is in will show the type of conflict.

EX: if you had your uranus in an earth house (2H, 6H, 10H), you could have endured financial hardship with your mom during your childhood/upbringing. she may not have been able to keep a stable job which was why you may have faced financial instability. in your childhood, you may have moved a lot for financial reasons or may have had to go without certain material comforts for the same reason.

🪁taurus moons usually wanna become parents and libra moons usually wanna get married at some point

🪁libra women and sagittarius men are so similar it’s actually crazy. they both also kinda...dislike each other usually??? yet they’re so ??? similar??? it’s pure comedy honestly

🪁people with cancer venus and cancer in 7th are usually attracted to people after they see them interact (lovingly or gently) with kids.

🪁 4th house ruler in 10th and 10th house ruler in 4th can indicate fame - the native can be a household (4th house) name.

EG: Billie Eilish - 4th house ruler (mercury) in her 10th house. she is known for (10th house) her songs (mercury).

🪁people with mars conjunct mercury have a tendency to talk over people

🪁people with venus-saturn aspects, capricorn venus and venus in 10th tend to fall in love with people who make them laugh. they love people who can make them feel young and free. in their relationships, they like to feel like they have a place or a person with whom they don’t have to be so heavy and responsible - someone they can just let their guard down with and just enjoy themselves.

🪁 “high cheekbones...defined bone structure....thin” etc are generally used to describe capricorn risings. HOWEVER lots of cap risings don’t fit that description because lots of (younger) cap risings have neptune and/or uranus in the 1st house. these planets change, distort and soften whatever they touch. if it comes into the 1st house of self, cap risings are likely to look different than their traditional interpretations. especially in the case of neptune being in the 1st, the natives may look younger and have rounder, softer features.

🪁no matter the venus sign, jupiter in 7th and uranus in 7th natives NEEEEEEEEDDD freedom in their relationships. these people are the types to not get [legally] married and might opt for other options like domestic partnerships or civil unions because they are the kinds of people who think “if you leave the door open, i’ll never walk out of it”. they want to feel like they have other options...this IS NOT ALWAYS A BAD THING!! don’t feel like these people can’t commit - they commit when they want, to who they want, when they want to...it has to be on their own terms though!

🪁cancer moons give the warmest, most tender hugs i’ve ever received.

🪁i’ve never met an aries mars who wasn’t competitive as fuck and hated losing. these people always wanna be the best at whatever they are doing and can take it to heart when they come in 2nd but they’re the types to dust themselves off and try again instead of stewing in the pain of their own failure forever

🪁people with moon-uranus hard aspects may like dating air venus people because air venus people could keep them entertained and give them the space they need. bonus points if the native has sag, aqua, cap or gemini placements.

🪁pisces venus people love love but tend to run away from it when it comes close

🪁mercury retrograde people are always so fucking late all the damn time

🪁for scorpio moon, scorpio venus, moon-pluto and venus-pluto people, heartbreak is literally the end of the world. we are not joking when we say it feels like death.

🪁sun opposite pluto people often try to fight their plutonic tendencies and have a particularly gnarly disdain for their father while other sun-pluto placements tend to accept their plutonic nature and allow themselves to overcome their father-related trauma.

🪁sun-pluto people (especially conjunction, opposition, square) tend to go through phases in life where they stop talking to their fathers.

🪁aquarius and pisces risings have an affinity for changing up their hair. they love wigs and dying their hair a different colour is like one of their favourite past times. they always make the different colours and styles look good though - they’re just blessed that way.

🪁saturn in 9th people don’t like going to church lol.

🪁saturn in 9th people may want to move to a different country but may have responsibilities in their hometown/home country that prevents them from doing so. they may also have a hard time trying to figure out what they want to study in college

🪁 2H uranus and 2H saturn people are very smart with money but the 2h uranus person is quicker to spend it than the 2h saturn person.

🪁 sagittarius moons 🤝 aquarius moons

being literal fucking soulmates

🪁ALL fixed venuses (taurus, leo, scorpio, aquarius) display the same level of devotion, commitment, loyalty and fixation on a chosen partner. it is literally in their venusian nature ... hence it being FIXED!! once they have their heart set on someone, it’s a done deal. they want that person forever which is why it takes them forever to move on from a former partner

🪁4th house synastry is so cute. my venus and mars falls into one of my closest friends 4th house and we always hang out at her house like literally every time we hang out, it’s at her house. we wear pajamas and eat a whole lotta food while watching animé in bed lol

🪁 cap venus 🤝 aqua venus

“i’m so in love with you, please go away though”

[jumbojamba47]

I Love You

Pt. 2 of Guest Room

A/N: Thank you for loving my little ball of garbage enough to warrant a second part. I’m feeling warm and fuzzy. Also... I kinda.. sorta.. really got carried away with this. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. Shout out to my irl friends who had to deal with my gleefully rubbing my grubby little paws together all day. 

A/N PT. 2: TUMBLR QUIT BEING A BITCH AND JUST LET ME UPLOAD MY STORY IN PEACE PLEASE I’M BEGGING YOU. The last try uploaded to my main and my stomach dropped out of my ass lmao. Fifth and hopefully final time. (I’m so sorry for the notifications spam for everyone I tagged)

PAIRINGS: Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Stucky 

Warnings: 18+, Angst (like so much I’m sorry), Smut, Swearing, Mentions of Alcohol Consumption

Word Count: 5702

Hollow. It’s the only way she can describe the feeling of deep-seated emptiness that settles in her as she watches the quinjet disappear in the distance. What’s that noise? She casts her eyes around her surroundings when she suddenly feels a dampness on her collarbone. Reaching up a hand, she feels moisture on her face.

Oh.

The sounds were coming from her. At the realization of her sobs, pain wracked her frame with nowhere to go.

What was she thinking?

She wasn’t.

When she left Clint in a hurry, she hadn’t even paused to consider what she would say to you if she caught you. What did she feel for you? What could she have told you? Her life conditioned her to believe love was for children. She wasn’t one.

And yet…

She couldn’t deny that there was something about you that always drew her in to you. Every hidden interaction with you pulled onto all five of her senses demanding her full attention until there was only you in front of her; drawn straight into your orbit like a moon of Saturn. Each and every private encounter made it more difficult for the hardened assassin to pull herself away from you only to act unaffected by your presence in public.

Was that love?

It doesn’t matter.

You were sunlight. You were the warm embrace of home calling out to every damaged member of this family seeking acceptance for their past sins and a place to belong.

And she?

Well, she was damaged beyond repair.

She refused to be the one to tarnish your light. And she knew, if she gave in to her weaknesses, you could never really shine. You meant too much to the team. To her. A part of her could also admit to fear. Fear of what would happen if she hurt you.

If you hurt her.

She could live with never knowing what it felt like to call you hers. To hear you whisper her name in the early morning light your sweet features the first things she lays eyes on in your shared haven.

But she knew. She’d never recover if she could have you and lose you. If she were to tear her walls down, only for you to look inside and decide it wasn’t worth it.

That she wasn’t worth it.

With a steely resolve in her eyes, Natasha turned on her heels and began to make her way back towards the gym. She had a few weeks to get her head screwed on straight. She’ll lock away and bury anything she might have felt for you if given the chance. When you’re back, she’ll apologize for the hurt she’s caused you and maybe, just maybe, you’ll let her stay a part of your life.

If, along the way, she refuses to let her mind wander to thoughts of you with someone else, well, that’s her prerogative.

xxxx

You sit in heavy silence on the quinjet. Thoughts of last night’s interactions with the red-headed assassin plaguing your mind. You still feel a pang of pain when you remember her rejection. With a mental shake of your head, you resolve to table your emotions for now to focus on the mission at hand.

You’ve been tasked with leading a team to infiltrate an underground drug trafficking ring disguised as a bi-monthly art auction. Once you arrive at your destination, you’ll be allotted two months of integration and data retrieval before another team of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents will be sent in to assist in the take down. You’re leading the team with Scarlet Witch and Falcon following your lead. Agent Hill was chosen to tag along strictly for backup and onsite supervision should the worst come to pass.

Sam and Maria sit up front; you can hear the sounds of quiet banter trickling back towards you while they try to respect your privacy, believing you to be mentally preparing yourself for the road up ahead. Wanda sits opposite you. Your emotions scream at her from across the jet, but she has the decency not to read your actual thoughts.

Still, she can’t help the concerned glances she sends your way.

Noticing her attention on you, you shift your body to turn towards her.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“I could ask you the same. Where did you disappear to last night? I tried to find you after you were pulled away by Natasha, but I couldn’t find you.”

You let out a soft sigh.

“I’m sorry. My heads been a mess lately. I didn’t mean to leave you on the dance floor like that. It was a rough night.”

A hand rises to nervously play with the hair on the back of your neck. You look to the floor.

“I also owe you a bit of an apology for how carried away I got last night. You’re amazing Wan, and I don’t want to lead you on in any way.”

She lets out a light laugh.

“Don’t worry about it, draga mea. We were just two friends who had a little too much to drink, having a little fun. No hard feelings whatsoever.”

You wince and she instantly knows that was the wrong thing to say.

“You know, I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener. Pietro used to say it’s because I had big ears when we were children.”

She reaches out a hand across the aisle to let it rest on your knee. After an internal debate, you decide to divulge everything to her. From your first interactions with the assassin and your instant connection to the fallout from last night.

Listening patiently, Wanda’s eyes widen slightly when you mention what the events that occurred in the ex-soviet’s room.

By the end, Wanda is livid with righteous indignation on your behalf.

“Well, she’s a fool for letting you go.” She squeezes your leg.

“I can’t claim to understand what’s going through her head, but you have to know her feelings aren’t a reflection on your worth. You are the glue that holds this team together and we all love you. Natasha, she…” she pauses, “she’s been through much. More than any of us will ever know. Her experiences have closed her off. But you’re both strong. Maybe you’re not meant to be, but I know you can bounce back from this. We have a few weeks before we’re due back and, in that time, I guarantee you we can get your spirit back up and bouncing like usual.”

“Damn right, we can!” You hear Sam interrupt from the front of the plane.

You release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and let out a light laugh.

Yeah, things weren’t okay.

But maybe they will be.

xxxx

The mission goes off without a hitch and it does wonders for your confidence. As soon as you landed at the safehouse, you and your team had set to work securing the perimeter and preparing for your upcoming roles in the undercover mission. Sam moved first, infiltrating the ranks of the dealers as he uncovered the hierarchy of the operation and fed maria intel to pass on to headquarters. You and Wanda were posed as a wealthy young couple from new money, tasked with getting close to the heads of the drug ring in order to gain access to the final auction where you ultimately took down the entire operation with the aid of several agents.

Despite the smooth execution, you all still found yourselves with extra downtime between stakeouts and it led to the four of you growing closer. One of your favorite pastimes became group binge-watches of The Fairly Odd Parents and Wanda had taken to calling you Cosmo, the husband of her cartoon namesake.

           “ETA: 5 minutes,” called out Hill.

From your seat, you could see the compound looming over the horizon. You take in a nervous breath and release.

Next to you, Wanda can feel your apprehensive tension and takes a moment to give your hand a firm squeeze.

“You’re okay, Cosmo. Remember our talks. You have strength. You know your worth. You’ll be fine.”

You send her a grateful smile and a nod. Your fingers squeeze her back briefly before you move to stand by the doors of the ramp as you hear the jet begin to touch down.

She’s right. During your time away, you came to terms with the fact that it’s not Natasha’s fault that she doesn’t feel the same way as you do. You know you have no control over other people’s feelings, and you owed it to the both of you to face this head on, maturely.

As soon as the jet’s ramp meets the floor of the hangar, you’re met with a wall of pure muscle that really should come with a warning label. Your feet are lifted off the ground and suddenly you’re swinging in circles. You laugh as Bucky’s long hair tickles your nose.

Wait a second.

Is that?

“James Buchanan Barnes. Put me down this instant.”

He stiffens. That’s his name. That’s who he is. He is James Buchanan Barnes. Former sergeant and integral member of the Howling Commandos. The Winter Soldier. Melted down and reforged by Hydra. He was a legend. He was a nightmare. He was feared. He was… terrified.

Christ. Hearing his full name falling out of your mouth in that tone never failed to instill the fear of God into him. Not even his ma, bless her soul, could quite measure up to the intimidating aura you exuded when he knew you were ready to tan his hide.

You stood before him, hands on your hips, feet shoulder width apart, stance strong, eyebrow peaked… and deadly.

“Did you break into my room and steal my hair mask… again?”

The others stand back, watching in amusement while he starts to sweat.

“D-doll, of course not! You explicitly told m-me your room was off limits while you were go-”

You cut him off as you step closer.

“Don’t you lie to me, Barnes,” your eyes narrow and he gulps when you push your face closer to his.

“I can smell the macadamia oil, you heathen.”

Just as you’re about to launch into a lecture about respecting other people’s belongings, you’re interrupted by the sound of Steve’s voice.

“You gotta admit, at least it’s better than smelling the greasy mop he always ends up with after training.”

Your entire demeanor lightens up as you whip around to take a running leap at your favorite Man with a Plan.

“STEVIE!”

He catches you in his arms. “Good to have you back, sugar. We missed you around here.”

You hear a soft exhale of relief come from behind you.

Tilting your head back from where you’re perched in Steve’s arms, you narrow your eyes at Bucky and make a silent gesture to indicate you’re watching him. This is far from over.

He gulps.

“Well, c’mon then, we’re all dying to hear how the mission went. The others are waiting for you in the lounge.”

You stay wrapped around your friend’s dorito shaped torso but make the effort to wriggle your way around him so you’re clinging to his back like an infant koala. He rolls his eyes but does nothing to deter you, choosing to move his arms in support of your legs instead.

“Onward, my trusty steed!” you giggle.

As one, you all make your way towards the main common area, taking the time to drop off your luggage in your respective rooms as you go. Eventually, you make your way to the lounge and as you’re carried in, F.R.I.D.A.Y. blasts the loud trumpets of a herald through her speakers.

Huh, Tony must’ve upgraded her sense of humor.

Greeting the others, you use your hands in Steve’s hair like an oversized rat with a penchant for cooking to guide him towards your favorite lounge chair. Sam and Wanda move towards the kitchen to look for the good snacks they couldn’t have undercover while everyone else gathers around the remaining lounges.

From the corner of your eye, you can see Natasha hovering off to the side near Clint but you can’t quite get yourself to make eye contact yet. You wait for everyone to settle in. Wanda approaches you with two mugs of tea in her hands offering you one with a “just the way you like it, Cosmo”. It’s punctuated with a wink and she perches herself on the arm of your seat, bringing her own around to rest across the back. Her hand finds its way to your hair playing with a few strands to keep you grounded while you purposefully train your eyes away from a certain side of the room.

Wanda really did become your rock in the weeks away. While you never repeated anything from the night of your party, you fell into an easy companionship with the young mutant that led to you each being comfortable around the other. She knew how hard your return would be for you and made it her next mission to make sure you knew you had a solid support system in place.

Seeing the close interaction between the two of you, Bucky and Steve both shoot you cheeky grins and eyebrow wiggles that have you holding up a throw pillow just under Wanda’s current line of sight. She glances down, smirks and hurls the pillow at the two men using her powers, ensuring she adds a boomerang effect to ricochet off the face of one in order to hit the other stunning both of them.

“Nice!” You give her an enthusiastic high five as she wiggles her fingers at the recovering men.

“I just learned that one on the job. I have to keep practicing for muscle memory.” She states in a faux haughty tone while you snicker at the indignation on your Brooklyn Boys’ faces.

Across the room, Natasha watches you. She knew she missed you while you were away, but nothing could have prepared her for the onslaught of emotions that crashed into her when she finally laid eyes on you after weeks apart. You still had the same mischievous spark in your eyes. Your nose still crinkled just the slightest bit when you laughed. Your smile could still light up an entire room like the Fourth of July.

God, she missed you.

She watches your raucous banter with the resident super-soldiers with a fond smile teasing the corners of her lips. She takes note of the casual arm slung across your shoulders, the hand tangled in your hair, and something inside of her burns. Her jaw clenches.

She’s not yours to have.

Clint nudges her shoulder with a pointed look. She realizes she’s been emitting a soft growl. Focus Romanoff! Where is your training? She strains but ultimately fixes her posture until she’s the posterchild for casual aloofness. Her best friend snickers but chooses not to comment on the slight rigidity he can see in her shoulders.

Tony claps his hands to gain everyone’s attention.

“Alright alright, Hermione’s new parlor tricks aside, we all know why we’re really here.”

In his best imitation of Fury’s gruff voice, he growls out, “Hill. Debrief report. Judgement on (y/hero/n)’s execution?”

Rolling her eyes but playing along, “All objectives executed to perfection. Leadership skills exemplary, sir!” she tosses in a mock salute.

It’s quiet before everyone breaks into cheers and congratulate you and your team on a successful job well done. You’re beaming when you hear Sam chime in with, “You better watch out Cap. (Y/l/n) could give you a run for your money as team captain. We might be shipping you to a retirement home sooner than we thought.

Your best friend grins at you with pride and mirth shining in his eyes and you feel warm inside.

“I think we could come to a truce and work together. Co-captain sound good to you doll?”

“I don’t think so Steve. I’ll leave the captaincy to you. I don’t think I could handle dragging the metal chicken wing over there back in line every day,” you respond with a laugh, sticking your tongue out at Sam. You draw out a squawk of offense and everyone bursts into laughter.

You turn your head slightly and find yourself making direct eye contact with the very same pair of vivid green eyes that still visit you in your dreams. You swallow down the rising emotions and offer her a small smile. She looks startled at first but relaxes slightly and gives you one of her own in return.

Maybe you could do this.

You spend a few more minutes catching up with the rest of the team, learning about what everyone has been up to while you were away. Checking the time, you slowly pull away from Wanda, who still has her weight resting on you, and announce that you’re going to head to your room to wash off and settle in before you have to fill out your mission reports.

Everyone bids you goodnight and you exit the room, walking the familiar pathway towards your own residence. Your ears pick up quiet footsteps behind you causing you to turn your head slightly.

A small sharp inhale escapes your lips. Your eyes betray you with a quick scan of her nervous form standing in front of you. Her hair is a little longer and the circles under her eyes are just the slightest shade darker. She still looks just as breathtaking as the day you walked out of her room. Her presence instantly brings you peace and you curse yourself under your breath.

Mentally slapping yourself, you plaster on a casual smile.

“Hey Nat. Been a while.”

You cringe.

Really? Been a while? Really?

She steps towards you, “Hi (y/n/n),” she responds softly.

“Listen I-”

“Can we-”

You both let out a nervous chuckle.

“Sorry. Go ahead, you first,” she says.

“Listen, Nat. I owe you an apology.”

She stills. What could you possibly have to apologize for? You’re not the one who broke the heart of the love of your life just because you had commitment issues.

Stop that. She’s not your love of anything.

She opens her mouth to interrupt but you press on.

“It wasn’t fair of me to try to push you into something you clearly weren’t comfortable with. You made it clear that you didn’t love me the way I loved you. I never wanted to make you feel like I would demand anything of you. You’re more than entitled to your own feelings and it wasn’t okay for me to project what I felt onto you.”

Frozen in place, her mind could only focus on two words.

Loved? Felt?

And didn’t that sting?

She can feel her throat start to constrict but she goes along with it.

Maybe it’s for the best.

“It’s okay (y/n/n). I understand where you came from and I’m partially to blame for letting things go on for as long as they did without taking your feelings into consideration.

“Friends?”

A small, okay large, part of her brain screamed in agony that this was wrong.

Instead, she smiles and nods opening her arms.

You gingerly step into her embrace, one arm comes up holding her shoulder while the other gently cups the back of her head in a familiar hold.

Her arms come up to wrap themselves around your middle, squeezing slightly.

If either of you noticed the other inhale just a little deeper, neither of you chose to comment.

xxxx

Several weeks go by and you’ve settled back into a familiar routine. Wanda has officially been adopted into you and your boys’ infamous trio and the brunette witch could often be seen joining in on your foolish antics around the compound. At first, the three made a pact to ensure you would never be exposed to prolonged periods of alone time with the woman who damaged your tender heart. Often times, you’d catch yourself alone with the assassin only for one of the others to immediately swoop in to whisk you away and drag you into some activity before you could draw each other into a prolonged conversation

It took you a few days to catch on to what your friends were doing. While the sentiment was greatly appreciated, you couldn’t miss the slight look of hurt that crossed Natasha’s face whenever you were pulled away from her. Eventually, you had to put your foot down, taking them aside one day. You told them that you loved them and appreciated their concern. But you’re an adult and you can handle your affairs well enough on your own.

They backed off but still continued to keep a wary lookout. They couldn’t help it. You were their favorite.

Your interactions with the devastatingly gorgeous avenger were still a little stunted and you both miss the longing stares you direct towards each other on occasion. Still, you’re getting better.

It still hurts sometimes but you’re okay as long as you still have her in your life. In any capacity.

You think you’re getting better. It stills hurts but you’re okay as long as you still have her in your life.

xxxx

You’re in the gym talking to Sam one afternoon as he spots you in the weights section while Natasha and Clint are sparring on the mats.

“The team’s decided to make an appearance at a new nightclub Aluminum Alloy Man bought out on a dare tonight. You in, sugar?”

You laugh at the latest nickname he’s given Stark but shake your head no.

“Sorry Sam but I’ve got a date.”

You hear a particularly loud grunt come from Clint and turn your head slightly to see Natasha apologizing while he’s doubled over catching his breath.

“Oh? Anyone we know?” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

You roll your eyes.

“With myself, you dork. I’ve been dying to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail and I finally have the downtime to sit through it. There’s a bottle of wine and a couch calling my name and I intend to capitalize.”

He laughs but nods understandingly.

“That’s fair. You good here? I better head out to get ready.”

“Yeah, yeah, you go ahead. Have fun tonight!” You wave him off wiping the sweat off the back of your neck with a damp towel.

“(Y/L/N)!” You hear your name called out from across the gym.

“Care to spar? Clint’s tapping out. He’s a wuss.”

You start to hesitate but choose to nod instead, stepping into the ring, setting your towel on the rope to dry.

You begin to circle one another assessing each other’s weaknesses. She makes the first move lashing out with a swift kick to your ankle, aiming to leave you off balance. You dodge out of the way and retaliate with a series of jabs towards her torso. This goes on for several minutes each of you landing several hits when Natasha launches herself off your bent knee, intending to use her signature thigh grip of death to bring you down.

Not today, Satan.

You bring your arms up, wedging them between your neck and her legs before she can get a grip. You latch onto her legs tightly before you swing her around your body, tackling her to the floor. You move your hand to cradle the back of her head to ensure it doesn’t smack into the ground, bringing yourself much closer to her body in the process.

You’re both panting heavily, stuck, mesmerized by the intense look in each other’s eyes. You have one leg between her thighs, knee pressed to her core, puffs of air intermingling between you.

Is she? Leaning towards you?

Oh, you definitely felt that wiggle of her hips against your knee.

You wet towel drops to the floor with a wet smack and just like that, the spell is broken.

You both scramble apart and you move to pick up the offending object.

Behind you, Natasha clears her throat sheepishly.

“So, I couldn’t help but overhear your big plans for tonight while you were talking to Wilson. Is there room for one more? I was actually planning to do the same, but I hear Monty Python is much funnier with good company.”

Everything inside of you screams that this is a terrible idea. But here’s the thing, you thrived off of terrible ideas.

“Sure, why not? We can start when everyone else heads out?”

Sure you would have declined, she brightens considerably and throws you a grin.

She starts walking backwards towards the door.

“Great! It’s a date! I mean- not a date-”

She smacks herself right into the door.

You let out a small laugh.

“I know what you meant.”

“Right. Yes. I’ll see you tonight!” She scurries out the door.

You stay standing there in the ring watching the space she just occupied.

On the other side of the door, Natasha leans heavily against the metal.

What have I gotten myself into?

xxxx

You bid goodbye to your friends and make sure to tell them to call you should they need anything. Once everyone is out the door, you turn around, inhale deeply, and set to work.

Despite everything, and your unfailing determination to not fall down the same rabbit hole, you can’t help but want to take care of Natasha in any capacity you can.

So, you take extra care to grab her favorite snacks, her go-to brand of wine, a couple glasses, and an oversized hoodie you always kept in the back of the closet, on hand just for her. She had a tendency to relax in thinner loungewear, but you knew once she settled in, she stubbornly refused to get up for anything no matter how cold she got.

As you set everything down on the coffee table in front of the oversized, plush couch in the center of the movie room, the beauty in question makes her way towards you in, surprise surprise, a thin tank top and shorts.

You roll your eyes but toss her your sweatshirt and she grins at you before hastily throwing it on, snuggling into the warmth. You both settle onto opposite sides of the couch, the wine and snacks split between you. The movie plays and you find yourselves relaxing. Like magnets, you eventually gravitate towards each other, sharing jokes and snacks, yelling at the large screen in front of you as the Black Knight stubbornly refuses to die.

Without realizing each other’s movements, she winds up leaning against you while your arm is wrapped around alternating between playing with her hair and rubbing soothing patterns across her shoulder and biceps.

You feel a shudder come from the deadly ball of fluff in your arms and only then do you realize your positions. You can’t bring yourself to move.

“Cold?”

“Yeah,” she nods. Attempting to burrow herself further into your clothes.

You pull her closer to you until her legs are resting over yours, head tucked under your chin, puffs of air tickling your sensitive neck.

Bad move (y/l/n).

You forget how to breathe. Natasha turns to look at you when she feels you still beneath her.

Oh. Oh god.

She didn’t realize how close she was to you and from this distance, she can see every detail of your ethereal beauty in the dim light of the movie lighting.

You turn your head to take a quick peak at her but suddenly you’re drowning in a sea of green. Your breath hitches when green is replaced by red and suddenly plump lips are crushing your own.

You moan and your hands scramble for purchase as the angel in your lap twists to straddle you. Fists tighten in your hair while she nips at your lower lip, close to drawing blood. She tugs at your shirt and you get the message. You desperately rip away your top while she follows suit before she pushes you onto your back spreading out on top of you.

A loud groan escapes your lips as the vixen in your arms finds the sensitive space right below your ear. Unwilling to be out done, you wrap your legs around her hips and gracefully flip yourselves over, trailing kisses down the crevice of her breasts, mapping your way down her body. Like Copernicus charting the stars. Reaching your destination, you pull apart the draw strings of her shorts with nothing but your teeth, earning a moan of approval from the writhing redhead. You smoothly slide back up her body, meeting her desperate lips in a searing kiss while your hand finds her center, already feeling the slick wetness ready for you. Natasha’s limbs fly to wrap around you as you set a steady pace pushing her closer and closer to the edge. Knowing she needs the extra push, your other hand moves to pull aside her bra before you deliver a harsh nip and a firm curl of your fingers.

She sees stars.

No.

She sees galaxies.

You continue to move, determined to prolong her pleasure for as long as possible.

You’re rewarded with the crack of her voice as she hurdles into the abyss.

“God, I fucking love you.”

It slips out of your mouth completely unbidden.

But it’s too late.

The damage can’t be undone.

Just like that, she snaps back to reality.

She hastily sits up. Your hand falls back into your lap as she quickly stands picking up her shirt.

“We can’t do this.”

“Natasha, I-”

“No.”

“Natasha, would you jus-”

“I said no!”

You feel like you’ve been here before.

She turns to make a hasty retreat, but you catch her hand in a tight grip before she can get too far.

“Why do you keep running from me? Am I so repulsive that the thought of being with me has you running for the hills?”

“Not everything is about you, (y/l/n),” she bites out.

Neither of you hear the team returning but all of them can hear the yelling coming from your direction and they run towards you.

“No. You always do this! Every time I think we’ve gotten to a good place; you freeze me out.”

“That’s the thing! We were in a good place! We were having fun. We had each other when we needed it and nothing more! We were so good like that. We can still be like that!”

Tears fill your eyes.

“It’s not enough.”

“Why can’t this be enough?!” she cries.

“This has to be enough,” she whispers looking at anything but you.

A hand moves to grip hers gently. The other rises to cup her chin to guide her eyes to yours.

“This could be so much more. Let me love you the way you deserve.”

Staring into your eyes, she can see you dying a little more inside the longer she stays silent.

She pulls away from you.

Okay.

You thought you could be fine with just floating in her orbit. Maybe you underestimated how long it would take for you to heal enough to allow it. Or maybe you couldn’t do this at all.

Your head tilts towards the floor. Your lips break into the softest, most heart-breaking smile she’s ever seen.

“I’m always going to love you Natasha Romanoff. But I owe it to the both of us to know this won’t be enough for me. This can’t be enough for me.”

A whimper is caught in her throat but she can’t bring herself to move when you step back away from her.

“I love you. I don’t want to,” you breathe out.

Natasha swears she hears something inside her shatter.

“I’m sorry I don’t give you the strength you need to pursue your own happiness. I really hope you find someone who does. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

You make me happy.

Just say it!

Her body screams in protest with every fiber of her being.

“Bye Tasha.”

You turn and only then do you realize that the two of you aren’t alone.

Wanda steps forward. She wraps her arms around your shoulders as she leads you away throwing a glare at the assassin.

Natasha takes a step in your direction.

“(Y/n) wait-”

She stopped by a metal arm blocking her way.

“Haven’t you done enough?” Bucky growls.

“And what do you know about what I’ve done?” She shoves him away.

“I know you hurt them! AGAIN!” he snarls, “You need to get your shit together before I’ll even THINK about letting you come anywhere NEAR (y/n) again, Romanoff.”

Her blood boils. She scoffs, “Big surprise, their guard dog immediately snaps to attention at the first sign of trouble. Tell me Barnes, does your master feed you well?”

She regrets her outburst immediately, but she’s too angry, too frustrated, too exhauseted to take it back.

“Don’t forget who trained you, Natalia,” comes out in a menacing hiss.

Frantically, Clint’s eyes snap from her to the ex-soldier advancing on her. He immediately steps between the two, placing a hand on her arm and turning towards the larger assassin.

“Whoa now, you know she didn’t mean that. Emotions are just running high right now. Let’s all take a step back. I could use a hand, Cap.”

Despite his own roiling emotions, he needs to maintain his professionalism as team captain, releasing a heavy puff of air, he moves to place a firm hand on Bucky’s shoulder, pulling him to his side.

“Clint’s right. We can’t do anything to fix this right now. Everyone, disperse. We’ll regroup in the morning.” He sends a piercing glare at the redhead.

Hearing another growl, Clint whips his head back around, “As entertaining as it would be to make a compound wide betting pool with Tony on a wwe rumble between you and two tag-teaming super soldiers, maybe we should take a second to cool off outside, yeah” he hisses at her.

Gritting her teeth, she nods, allowing Clint to pull her down the hall and out the door.

As she catches a glimpse of the hall leading to your room, all she can think is one thing.

She let you slip through her fingers… again.

Tagging some incredible people who expressed an interest in pt. 2:

guys im so fucking sorry this keeps showing up in your mentions.

@natasha-danvers , @thelastavenger-3000 , @ohfuckno , @imnotasuperhero

[vergilboyfriend]

ohhh my god the saturn empji looks so sick on desktop

anway i started to right abt tchaikjovksy but i ended up just explaining the plot of the nitcracker im stil so sad that i wont get to see it ths year :((((( anwyay like it or not here u go

Pyotr illyich (I love love you ich that’s I in german as in “I love you yes I do”) Tchaikovsjt (chaikovsky/tschaikovsky/chaikovskii/tschaikowsky/tschaikovsky/if you don’t know how to specll Tchaikovsky don’t feel bad because it’s a Russian name and “Tchaikovsky” is only the most popular romanization of his name but it’s a Russian name so its not even necessarily “right”) was a Russian composer of the Romantic period (approximately 1770-1850) . He was most celebrated for his ballets, notably the nutcracker, sleeping beauty, swan lake, but also for his other works including but not limited to the 1812 overture and Romeo and Juliet fantasy overture; its almost impossivle for someone to have never heard a single melody from his work especially if u have even an iota of taste in your silly little brain. For gods sake watch a barbie princess movie please theyre on youtube for free here

Okay so theyre not but don’t worry so its Christmas and theres a girl clara and herbrother whos name is Hans I think and since its Christmas their family is visiting so everybody comes in and clara and hans? Greet them abnd everyone dances and theyre having a good time dancing it’s a ballet so theres a lot of dancing (this doesn’t happen in the barbie version theres not nearly as much dancing because little girls only like the idea of ballet but not the practice or waqtching it because watch ing people do things sucvks until youre older and you cant do those things yourself. Play basebqall is more fun than watching it but not all of us have the knees for it anymore)

so drosselmeyer is claras godfather and he comes to say hello and give all of the children presents and hans I swear that’s not his name now but also also cant remember what it could be, hans gets like a sword or something which is cool but clara gets a wooden nutcracker soldier doll and hans gets jealous and tries to steal him, they fight and hans roips his arm the fuck off and hes fuckin broken. So of course everuone is shocked and clara is fucking sad as hell like she literally just fucking got it and now his arm is ripped the fuck off, so WAIT I forgot before they got the nutcracker he gave them dolls like lifelike dolls (theyre people in the ballet but they act like dolls its actually really cool to watch like the level of fucking control these people have ballet dancers r fucking incredible) and theres another dance and THEN hansdd breasks the nutcracker, and then everyone like the mood is gone they all say goodbye and go home until its just clara and hans and hold on.

His name is Fritz,. So its just fritx and clara and there parents and they all go to bed and go to sleep, and then clara sneaks out of bed to go check on her poor broken nutcracker nd hes still fucking broken so she falls alsleep with him under the Christmas tree and then while shes sleeping everything she szhirinks until shes the same size as the nutcracker whos a prince now. So then the mice king and all of his little mice friends come in and the dance around for a while and the nutcracker prince has to fight them off because theyre being scary, so he fights with the mouse king for a while until he kills him or clara kills him or something and the mice carry the dead mouse king away and clara and the nutcracker princ elike hop into a carriage and go off to the snow kingdom I guess so the sugar plum fairy can turn them big again its kinda fucked up bc like the climax of the ballet isn’t the enemy dying bc they kill him like pretty much right after he appreadrs its ghoing and partying with he spf and every dances and has a good time and Then they turn big againy after everyone dances but I guess since it’s a ballet it all makes sense

SO they co off tyo the land of sweets (I had to lkook that one up honestly bc what the fuck) and here they meet the sugar plum fairy and EVERYone knows the dance of the sugar plum fairy like theres no ideying that song goes hard as fuck so they meet the sugazr plum fairy and she dances with all her little friends and then they tell her that they kill;ed the fucking mous king n shes like “hooray we gotta celebrate!” so they dance for a while and celebrate and then one by one they go away and clara falls asleep and wakes up back at home under the tree with the nutcracker and his arm is fixed and thats is tthat the edn :) kinda sucks as a story but the ballet is soso beautiful its really so beautiful in the production that austin does theres the whole arc with aunt ginger and shes got a big ol cake dress and they bring in guest people to play her and act silly and its a good time :((( 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #245

“i fell asleep at the wheel again, crashed my car just to feel again.”

What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Obsess over the appropriate amount of eye contact I make. What color is your mp3? Hot pink. Have you ever laid in a hammock? Yeup. Is there a song or lyrics currently super-glued in your head? "Popular Monster" by Falling In Reverse FUCK What can you go a day without doing? Uhhh a lot? I dunno... oh, drink water because I suck at that gah. I've gotten a lot better than I used to be tho. What can’t you go a day without doing? Touching some form of technology. Who do you spend most of your time with? Myself. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? Treat others with kindness. Are you any good at reading someone's body language? I definitely think so. What type of art would you hang up in your room? Lol I have some of my own... but let's say it was a clean slate again. I'd put some macabre/gothic art of some sort up, probably. Of COURSE with meerkats making an appearance. What fruit is too sweet to you? Hm, I'm blanking. What was the last contest you have ever won: Uhhhh... I think the giveaway of two Silent Hill: Revelation things? That was forever ago. What was the worst hair cut you have ever had in your entire life: Looking back, the haircut I had before this one (short on the left, faded into still rather long on the right) I don't really like anymore. Looks fine in some pictures, but not most. What was the worst thing you have ever worn in your life: Oh I don't know. Probably some dance costume. Do you like any sort of animes: Yeah, a handful. I'd honestly like to watch more. Have you ever used someone for your own benefits: I don't think so. What is the worst cartoon you have ever seen: Oh boy, idk. There's some dumb ones, a lot that I've only seen peeks of. Do you like to type or write more: TYPE. Writing physically can easily make my carpal tunnel act up. I hated having to hand-write a few essays last semester... I had to stop frequently to roll my wrists and cringe and stuff. What color would you have your skin if you could change it: I'd like pale skin like I have, but I wish it was more flawless/porcelain-ish. SOOOOOO pretty ahahhhhhhhhahhhhhh Do you usually cook your own meals, or does someone cook for you: I usually have to throw something together in the microwave because Mom's barely home, but when she is home, she cooks. If someone cooks for you, do you always thank them for it: YES. YES. NOT SAYING ANYTHING IS SO FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL. What do you do during the day: Almost without question, SOMEthing on technology/usually computer. As for what I do on technology, boy, a lot a lot. I don't even feel like listing it all. When you are online what do you normally find yourself doing: ... Oh, lmao. Uhhh binging YouTube, writing on or just checking up on KM, dA browsing/cleaning my drowning inbox, Facebook, "working" at the SH and SotC wikis, playing games, roaming Tumblr, check my emails, uhhhhhhh,,,, What is the most hated item you own: I wouldn't... keep it if I hated it? Uhhhh yeah, I honestly don't know. What is your favorite item you own out of all the items you have: My iPod, really. I have over 1k songs on this old-ass nano that I've had since middle school. I guess my laptop is kinda tied, but idk. Like, I don't love this laptop itself, just that it allows me to go online at a decent speed lmao. I guess they're my favorites in different ways. So, do you think that you will get where you want in life currently: Not stopping pushing for it 'til I get it. Why is that so. May I ask: I'm "too" determined. It's been a struggle getting to even where I am, but FUCK, I'm getting there. Do you like Halloween: I can't fwu if you don't. Has a teacher ever flirted with you? Not to my recollection. Is it okay for friends to kiss each other, as friends? Personally, I think a simple peck is fine IF that's your thing and it's mutually understood that it's platonic. Ex., I know greeting kisses are normal in some cultures, and I see no reason to shame it so long you're not like making out. Is it okay for girls to hit boys? Fuck no. Unless you're like fighting off an assailant/defending yourself, NO gender hits ANYONE. Do you know a lot of attractive boys personally? I've never thought about it? I'm not gonna dig through all the people I know rn... What happens if you realized you had a crush on somebody? More than anything, I'd be scared of being hurt again, particularly if it's a guy. So I definitely wouldn't make the first move. Do you think you are attractive? No. Which two of your friends would have the cutest baby together? I don't know. How do you feel about your naked body? DON'T COME AT ME WITH THIS QUESTION GO AWAY Have you ever been called obnoxious? No. At least, not to my memory. Do you wish you had a bigger family? No, but a more close-knit one. Which friend would you kiss full on the mouth, no questions asked? Sara. If somebody smacks your butt, you automatically say: I wouldn't say shit, I'd turn around and smack them across the face. How often does your family life conflict with your social life? Pretty much never. Have you ever been emotionally abused? No, thankfully. Do small children like you? They seem to, I guess. If karma is really true, should you be worried? Not very. What makeup do you wear on a daily basis? None. Do you have anything hidden in your room? Yeah, some saved money. What do you wish you were doing right now instead of this? It'd be great to talk to Sara. If you had a baby, would you want to have it at home or in a hospital? Oh I'm going to the fucking hospital for that epidural fren. If I even wanted kids. What was the last thing you ordered online? Uhhh good question. Have you ever had a bad experience with anti-depressants? If so, what? Well, actually the entire time I was ON anti-depressants. Because I'm bipolar, anti-depressants actually ramp up the aggression of bipolarity symptoms. How, I don't recall the science of, but I trust every word that comes out of my psychiatrist's mouth for many reasons. That definitely happened. One also made me gain weight, and the worst instance was in middle school when I was briefly on one that made me SO fucking hyper and happy in the morning but I crashed into an absolute bitchy monster by mid-afternoon. Now a combination of mood stabilizers helps both my bipolarity and depression immensely and are the main reason I'm alive. Are you allergic to any plants? I mean, I'm allergic to pollen. Are you an outdoors person? If the weather is cool, I love it. Does your past bother you? Some parts of it. Do you take risks or play it safe? I tend to play it safe. What forms of art do you like the best? This is an absolutely impossible question. "Art" has such an incredible range of forms, and I enjoy like... all. I guess the one thing I don't particularly care for is abstract art. What forms of art do you want to try? HYPERREALISM IN DRAWING. I REALLY wanna be able to draw/paint/whatever and make it look so true to life, BUT I'd like to add fantasy aspects to what I'm making (for example, my characters). I'd love to do portraits, too. This isn't really a "type" of art, but one thing I desperately want in art is to actually develop my own recognizable style that isn't just a wobbly attempt at realism with shitty proportions. What’s your favorite planet? Saturn's dope. Has a medication ever made you itch? No. What’s your favorite rainy day activity? Cuddle with snacks and like binge a good TV show/YT videos, etc. BUT considering I'm single I'ma just take a nap if I'm actually tired and you can hear the rain on the window. Do you put creamer in your tea? I wonder how many times I'll tell surveys I hate tea lmao by the end of my life lmao. What do you think are some good names for twins? I don't care enough to think about this. What are three things that fascinate you? Animal behavior (particularly social), the paranormal, and genetics. Would you say you live more in the past, present, or future? Present, I think. Have you ever been a victim of a crime? Not me personally, no, but my family. We had our basketball hoop stolen from our front yard and I was mega tilted yo. Does injustice make you angry? More like it infuriates me. Do you have the bad habit of procrastinating? Very badly. Are you afraid of running into a certain person in public? I both am and am not afraid of running into Jason. I have a very strong feeling I'd start having a PTSD episode (by that I mean hyperventilating, crying a bit, and shaking at the very least), but simultaneously I just want him to know I'm sorry. Do you have anyone you avoid? No. Do you have the same dreams now that you did as a kid? No. Who’s your crush? I don't really know if I have one right now. My old friend Ian and I started talking, and he's a fucking hilarious dude with similar ethics to mine with great compassion, but I still don't know him well enough to say I like-like him. I'm honestly just happy to have an irl friend again that actually talks to me regularly. Do you trust the government? I believe in WAY too many conspiracy theories to even try to convince anyone I trust the government lmao. Who do you want to meet in Heaven? I don't know exactly what sort of afterlife I believe in (it's not the traditional Heaven though), but I do believe that souls can reunite. The first thing I want to see again is Teddy. Does your school take sports too seriously? Considering we're well-respected in the sports field to the degree we draw in a huge number of foreign athletes, guess you could say yes lmao. Most of the people I even slightly know here came for sports. If there are bruises on your body, how did you get them? There aren’t. Would you ever go back in time to do something over again, but differently? Yes. Where did you kiss the last person you kissed? The airport. Have you thought about your wedding in detail? Not great detail, no. Do you think you could ever really kill someone? In self-defense, I know I could. Do you like Papa John’s pizza? I couldn't even guess the last time I had it. I don't remember. Do you attend school? Yeah. Do you call it a crush, or do you just say you like someone? The latter. Where were you when the ball dropped? In my bed asleep lmao. Where are your siblings? Probably all at work. Waffles, pancakes, or french toast? French toast. Do you ever judge people based on if they believe in God or not? Not really, but I WILL wonder to myself if you believe in some of the bullshit just about every religion has somewhere. Are you sometimes scared to express your opinions in fear of what others might think? YUP YUP YUP! Mainly irl tho. Have you ever painted your nails on only one hand, forgetting about the other one or getting side-tracked? No. Have you ever gone to one of those parties where everyone is falling around drunk everywhere? No. Been to one where everyone was high, though. Are you “the good guy”, or “the bad guy”, or somewhere in between? I'd hope the good guy. Do you ever erase the numbers off of surveys just because they annoy you? Ha ha yeah. Do you think you will have the same best friend a year from now? Yes. Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? Yes, all but one. What do you hear right now? "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Proud as fuck because this song was a MASSIVE PTSD trigger at first and even made me cry, but despite it still making me kinda uncomfortable, I can listen to and enjoy it now. If an ex said they hated you, what would you say? The only three people whose opinions would matter there would be Sara, Girt, and Jason. Sara and Jason would fucking break me, while I think Girt would of course make me cry, but I just. Wouldn't be surprised to lose another irl friend. I'd be so fucking hurt by any. OH YEAH, what would I say? I think Sara would have me speechless. I'd probably just choke out, "I don't blame you," to Jason. Girt, my first instinct pondering this was "are you serious?" because he's such a joker while my stomach dropped. What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? I'd be happy for her, but still feel kinda sad that it wasn't me. What do you think when someone kisses you on your forehead? If I like the person, I feel very comforted. It like... makes me feel small, safe, and permitted to just let my emotions loose, ex. be "allowed" to cry. What do you usually do right when you wake up? Check my phone to see the time. Truthfully, is there someone you used to date that you miss? I don't want to answer this. Do the math. Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? No. Do you brush your teeth right away when you wake up? No. Have you ever made someone laugh when they were crying? Yeah. Would you date someone three years older than you? Yeah. Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? Actually as of recently, the morning. It's a nice way to start the day clean and energized. Could you handle living with the last person you texted? I'd love to live with her. Was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? It was assigned, but I loved it. Have you accomplished any goals you set for yourself this year so far? Not really? Well no, I think I'm being a less procrastinating student and also not fleeing so quickly from situations that invoke my anxiety. Are there still movie rental stores where you live or have they all gone out of business? SOBS Blockbuster come BACK we NEED u. What was the last thing to annoy you or make you upset? Eh, it was stupid and something that realistically isn't worth being annoyed by. I was SUPER bored and tired yesterday waiting for Mom to finish her field work while I waited in the library after classes, and I was so ready to go home, but she stayed longer than she thought she would. Do you think you would be a good match for your celebrity crush/es assuming you have one? Why? If you don’t have one, who was the last person you saw that you found attractive? Actually, not really. He's way too motivated and drawn to people who push forward and get shit done, and just in general at least from how I "know" him as a fan I could only realistically see us as friends. But a fangirl can dream ok just let me dream. When looking for something to watch on TV do you tend to pick shows you know you like, or try new shows that look interesting even though you’ve never heard of them before? I'll answer hypothetically if I watched TV: probably something I know I like. Might get adventurous every now and again and try something new, though, especially if it's on a channel I like. How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? I haven't had to. I juuuuust slightly have enough room where I DID have them grow in. Where was the last job application you filled out sent to? Uhhh probably the deli, which I got and lasted for two hours my first work day lmao. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. What do people tell you your voice sounds like? I dunno, kinda deep for a girl and lacking an accent most of the time. What financial class are you? Lower. What poster is hanging closest to you? A huge Nightmare Before Christmas one. Are you more comfortable with men or women? Women. Would you go on a date with someone right now if they asked? Maybe if Ian did? Idk. It'd be a nice way to get to know more about each other, but I'd only agree to it after we talked a bit longer. Does your family keep tons of leftovers in the fridge? Not "a ton." Things we'll eat again though, yes. Favorite FRIENDS character? That is, if you like it. I haven't watched it. Are you thinking of getting another piercing? Where? Hell yes. Pretty sure next is collarbones if I could just lose a little bit more weight so they're more visible. Do you love when people remember little things about you? YES OMG!!!!!!!!!! Do you ‘bless’ strangers when they sneeze? Yes, I just think it's common good manner. Even though the reasoning behind it is whatever, it's a societal thing that I just go along with. How many phones have you gone through? Idk, not too many. Have you always lived in the house you currently reside in? No.

[aeyaverseproject]

The Fear of Yesterday Interview Questions

these are my answers to the questions from @alexprompts WIP weekly event. thanks for featuring my wip!

SETTING:

Three main settings are mentioned in your post, being Soma, the Facility, and Purgatory. Can you give us a description of all three and the relevance to the story?

the majority of the story takes place on Soma. it’s a tropical island where travel is heavily restricted. whoever is running the show has done a good job of keeping the “zombie” thing a secret, so even most of the people who have gone there have been sworn to secrecy. Soma is part of Vafria, the country the story is set in. the only people that actually live on the island are scientists; military personnel can be seen all over the island as well. Soma is where the next two areas are located.

the Facility is an underground bunker/shelter. due to it being so unnecessarily extravagant, it is thought to be owned by someone rich and powerful. in the Facility are quite a few hallways. these lead to different rooms, including the ones the cast resides in while they are held there. there is also an upper level, which is where the two masterminds behind the deadly game are hanging out.

the most notable areas within the Facility are the Lobby, a circular room with a tall domed ceiling that mimics a skylight, and the Library, which is by far the most spacious room in the Facility.

Purgatory is another underground building. Purgatory is where Robin and the others are sent after they lose the game. it is crawling with the zombies (referred to as Infected in the story). Robin is initially under the impression that only children are down here, but that’s not quite the case.

even though it’s much larger than the Facility, most of the people sent there remain on the bottom floor indefinitely. while down there everyone is required to team up in groups to protect each other from the Infected and survive. there seems to be a way to get to the second floor, but going down that path is frowned upon.

every floor is like a labyrinth, consisting of many twists and turns. the people of Purgatory know their way around the first floor and have no problem teaching outsiders. the rest of the floors, however…yeah. they’ll have to learn as they go.

Purgatory has its own civilization that is hidden from the outside world. Robin can never really get used to the way things work down there.

Are there any other relevant settings?

one other relevant setting is Greenworth, Robin’s hometown. we won’t get to see much of it though, as it only appears briefly. there’s another location that’ll be shown near the very end, but i’m keeping that one a secret for now. :)

What do you draw your settings from? Your reality, imagination, a combination?

the Facility was inspired by some of the locations in the Zero Escape games and the whole tropical island idea was kind of inspired by Danganronpa 2.

Purgatory is mostly just drawn from my imagination. however, i watched a movie a few years ago (can’t remember the name) where a character mentioned an underground labyrinth that no one could escape and that really, really freaked me out. so that’s how that happened haha

CHARACTERS:

How does the main character, Robin, get caught up in the story you’re telling?

someone he trusts is about to start working on the island. this guy knew Robin and Marina’s parents when they were younger, and he also knows that they’re on Soma, as well. he never tells them how or why, but he is allowed to bring people with him. he already has the trust of Robin and Marina’s respective guardians, so they just kinda. let him do that. the people in Greenworth don’t know what’s going on on Soma, but they definitely didn’t expect it to be something like this.

after a tragic turn of events, Robin has no way to get home. things just go downhill from there.

What is the most important piece of character development you have written or planned so far?

so far, the most important piece of character development i have planned for the story has to do with some shared knowledge between Daphnis and Tiffiny. right now all i have is an overheard conversation between them, but it adds to the overall mystery of the story. without spoiling anything, i can say that they just know way too much. but they do use their knowledge to help their team out when they can.

Where do you choose your names from?

the character names so far have been mostly random. even One was random, to be honest. i don’t usually name the characters after anything or anyone in particular, and there’s no theme when it comes to names or anything. usually i’ll think of common names i’ve heard in the past, then if none of those work, i’ll think of japanese names i’ve heard.

however, Daphnis is an exception, here. i’m sure you’ve noticed his name is much different than the others’. i purposely named him after one of saturn’s moons, and i wasn’t sure why at first. but after looking through the plot in detail i’ve noticed that it fits very well. like eerily so. but that was a total coincidence.

STORY:

How do you plan?

when i first started this story, i didn’t have any plans, actually. over time i would type up any idea that came to mind and copy it to my notes later. eventually i had enough of those entries to start creating an outline. it’s not organized or anything, but it helps me keep the story in order.

Where did the inspiration for your story come from?

the Zero Escape series inspired this story, for sure. after i finished the trilogy, i decided i wanted to put my own spin on the whole deadly game thing.

THE FUTURE:

Do you plan sequels? If so, how many, and what will their connections/places in the universe be?

The Fear of Yesterday is part of a four-book series called Tomorrow’s Message! there is no direct sequel, but some of the characters in this book show up in the other entries. the other books are from the pov’s of two other characters in the series.

book two, The Door to Tomorrow, is the first half of book one told from Chuck’s perspective. it shows what really was going on in his head as well as his motives.

book three, Today and Forever, is about Joseph’s life (from his pov). it’ll reveal more of his involvement with this whole mess and how he feels about it. it’ll also showcase what’s really happening and why. as such, this book will answer a lot of the questions brought up in The Fear of Yesterday. there will be a detailed intrigue plot, a group of childhood friends, and lots more of that conspiracy stuff.

book four, New Century Endeavor, is told from Chuck’s pov once again. this focuses on his life after he’s come to terms with what he learned about himself in the Facility. this has almost nothing to do with the intrigue/conspiracy and is mostly about how his life gets totally derailed shortly after meeting a certain someone.

i’m currently trying to write the whole series at once. so far ive completed book two, which is actually quite short. this method is challenging and i’m not sure if i can recommend this kind of approach, but it’s fun connecting the stories together while they’re simultaneously being written.

Do you plan to publish? If so, what is your biggest goal in relation?

i plan to self-publish this series eventually. i’m not really sure what the goal is yet i just want a lot of people to enjoy my work.

If your story were to be turned into a movie, who would you want to play your main characters ideally?

well, i’d imagine it to be an anime-style movie. when i think of The Fear of Yesterday as a movie, i think of those netflix anime titles. so, i’d prefer for it to be a netflix movie, but a theatrical release would be cool, too. as for the cast, i… actually have no idea haha. but they’d be anime voice actors for sure.

[shizen-hime]

Such a big mama we got here!!! It’s funny because some of the planets positions are similar to my chart! Please remember I’m still learning and English is not my first language!!

Let’s start with your Asc. You are seen as a very friendly, funny person, and we can totally appreciate your social abilities. Libra rules Venus, and we can see it in Cancer (same sign as your Moon, which is in her element!!). So I see you way more as a Cancer than as a Gemini, because the Moon is right in your MC, Venus is well placed there and your Mercury (ruled by Gemini) is not really in it’s best place, as well as the house of the Sun.

I think the most important planet in your chart is definitely the Moon. It’s right in your MC, the place of your career, so you’ll have a lot of luck and “fertility” (using this word because Moon in Cancer is a lot of fertility) in your career. It’s like you’ll have a lot of support and you’ll probably be like a mom to everyone in your job. You have a lot of instinctive nature and you know exactly what others need and want in order to pursue your interests. (As an add on I’ll just say that this Moon placement as I said is very fertile, adding your Venus there it can be you get pregnant easily -doesn’t matter if you’re a male or female-). The “bad” part of this Moon is you’re extremely emotional because you catch up the mood and other’s feelings. You’re also very protective, specially on your own home, and kind of... hmm.. conservative at some point? Dunno if I’m using the right adjective xD Also you can kind of lazy or like you don’t want to put a lot of effort on stuff sometimes. The Neptune opposition to your Moon can bring.. hmm.. discomfort from home of what you wanna do in your life as a career? Your IC in Capri tells me your home is kinda conservative, or like they’re always telling you what’s wrong or what’s good and tell you to focus on a “real” career or something like that. Anyways, oppositions is a hard aspect, but not super tense. All Neptune/Moon aspects can increment your sensibility and imagination. Okay so now let’s see this Chiron/Moon square. Squares are way harder than oppositions, and Chiron tends to.. hurt a lot. Being it in your first house (like me haha) can make you not be happy at all with yourself, kinda questioning everything you do or say, the way you are. The square with your Moon can make you feel your Mom didn’t love you enough or prefered doing other stuff instead of taking care of you. You can also feel you’re being criticized by anything (when you’re probably not) and attacked. This aspect gives you a lot of power to help others feel good about themselves and taking care of them, because Chiron makes you a master of your own wound. I think you can end up giving too much as well, so be careful!

Adding your Venus in Cancer (remember your Asc rules it and your Sun’s planet is in a sign that also rules Venus, so it’s an important planet), marriage, children, home, animals, are added to what you love in this world. You also are very curious because it’s on the 9th house (also adding you’re a Gemini), so you’ll love to curious about philosophies, religions, traveling around, also music, arts, nature, etc. Although that, since Cancer is kind of more conservative and your Mercury is also in a conservative sign, you can find yourself kind of wanting to learn new stuff but find it a bit too new? IDK! This also adds on your sensitive nature and I kinda see you crying for anything lol. I see yourself as a really funny person tbh <3

So I won’t talk of the nature of your Sun because I bet you already know how Gemini are, but I’ll talk about the house your Sun and the ruler of your Sun (Mercury) are. Being it at 8th, you’ll have a lot of tendency and curiosity to study anything related to the supernatural, the magic and the occult, this house is perfect for those who like reading Tarot as you do c; You’re not at all happy of what’s on the surface of stuff. You wanna know everything. This position also gives benefit through marriage and your Moon and Venus as well, so yep! You’re definitely made to help others with Tarot, astrology or similar. The trine your Mercury has with Neptune makes you an expert to communicate the mystical, so you’d be an excellent reader. As an add on, it also makes a sextile with your Moon so you’re very entertaining when talking (being such a Gemini baby) and a very good and natural storyteller. Anything related to communication is perfect to you, but as I see it it’s more like person to person communication. You’d be a great psychologist too because you can tell right away how’s the person you have behind. The “bad” part of your Mercury is that it can be too static when it comes to changing opinions, which is cool if you are right, but if not maybe you can find yourself defending something that isn’t bringing you anywhere. But it’s a nice Mercury for a Gemini, I think. Because it can make you... shut up when necessary lol! Sometimes Gemini don’t really know when it’s time of silence and can be a bit... ugh (I personally love them because I love hearing people out and you guys are such good talkers!!!) Anyways, as you can see, your chart barely has bad aspects, so your life is probably very “smooth”! Mine is too! c:

Let’s go and analyze the rest of the planets, those who are not defining your personality! You’re very capable of making new friends as your Mars says, although that, this position can also give a bit of... fights between you and your friends or social circles. I wouldn’t worry too much because Virgo is not a fighty sign and the sextile with your Moon is a nice aspect! You’re definitely a mommy, a teacher, a mentor! You’re also probably very attractive (adding Libra Asc too) and direct, such a nice coach!! Being it at Virgo your Mars will ask you to help people (especially those around you) and to work, to be ambitious!

Saturn in the 6th house gives good health and a very rigorous working nature. The sectile with the Sun makes you a nice worker (we can see that in the rest of your chart) and very disciplined too. You can easily finish any project and you’re very loyal to your friends and family (tho we already know that because of your Cancer nature!). Being it in Aries is not it’s best position, it can make you unable to express your best qualities, like maybe people don’t end up to see the best of you, idk. It’s like you’re probably never, ever like “ME, ME, ME!”. I like this (my bf also has it) but it can be hard to you to put yourself before others when it’s necessary and can kind of make others pass over you. As an Aries Moon I tell you it’s necessary to be self-centred sometimes lol.

Your Jupiter tells you’ll probably build your career in search of security and roots (adds on your Cancer nature and your Capri IC). It gives you a lot of fortune in your family, like you’ll always be secure there (important for you!!!). I can kinda see a conservative home but like you’ve never lacked of anything at all. You’re like one of my best friends whose always tired of his family (specially mom) because she’s very conservative but at the same time he’s totally spoiled and his parents have never said not to anything he needs or wants to do in his life. So I think there’s a bit of discomfort of what your passion is but not too much?  Being it in Aqua gives you a lot of freedom and humanity when it comes to dealing with thoughts, but it also gives a fix mentality like your Mercury.

Let’s end up with your North Node, which kind of says “what you’ve come to do in your life”, as a different lives point of view. It says you’ve actually come to deal with friendships, develop a sense of social purpose and to leave selfishness and vanity behind and you should use your creative abilities to help others. Usually the North Node is placed in a “difficult” position for the person, like if you had to achieve what’s hard to do for you, and I kinda see you as a really social person, so idk if maybe I’m wrong! 

Anyways I think that would be all, for any question just ask! There’s tons of more stuff to be said but I’m still not a professional so I can’t say it all :__o

Hope you enjoyed this! <33 Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu

[fairy-cat-mother]

Tagging Game

Rules: answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better.

I was tagged by the lovely, awesome and handsome @starfaring-princelotor​ alsdkfjs;dlfkj I saw that you had The Darkest Hour in there and just. you K i l l e d  me. DED. It makes me so heppi that you like my song enough for it to be up there with your favorites. So happy <3 TT^TT <3

Alright, here goes nothin’!

Nickname: Okay, so I’ve never really had a nickname. My little brother called me “Vava” when we were growing up bc he couldn’t say my name aldsfkjas;lfk. On tumblr and discord, people usually just call me Fairy. So, yeah? Das it. Otherwise, it’s just Maria.

Zodiac: Aquarius Sun, Cancer Moon, Aries Rising...I kinda like astrology a lil a lot :3

Height: 5’2’’ (most of my students are taller than me fml)

last movie I saw: Just watched Han Solo yesterday. It was p good.

last thing I googled: “Galaxy Lotor art” ...I just want my two fav things together...mah boi, and the stars.

favorite musician: Ohdamn, I can’t just pick one...if I haaaad to...hmm...ermmmfff...okay, I’m a SUCker for soundtrack music, so Joe Hisaishi or Two Steps From Hell.

Song stuck in my head: Fucking...Baby Shark. My students are relentless. They know it gets stuck in my head so easily. Those lil shits take advantage of it so mucH. It’s okay. I’ll get them back... >:3 with some weird “oldhead” music... SomeBODy once told me the WORLD is gonna roll me~ aaaaaaahaaa :P ….okay, but when it’s not Baby Shark, usually it’s Frank Sinatra’s Fly Me To The Moon bc that song comes on shuffle all the time in my car. But I’m not complaining ‘bout that one <3 also sometimes that one heckin’ awesome Dragonborn cover by Malukah too.

other blogs: None yet. Though, I have been thinking about starting one for posting my music stuff (I’m hopefully going to get a new mic soon and start recording more. So, maybe...)

Do I get asks: Sometimes, and I always love it when I do :3

following: 630. Welldamn. I don’t even remember half of these. I should go through and clean out.  

amount of sleep: I wish I had a consistent at-least-7 hours per night...but it’s more like 4 here, 8 there, naps when I come home and inevitably fall asleep on the couch. I’m workin’ on it.

lucky number: 7

what I’m wearing: A Huggle Hoodie. Or as I like to call it, a blanket dress. The most comfy thing in the world. I’m swimmin’ in it and it’s great. I’m so warm. And cozy. :3

dream job: Musician. Author. Professor. Children’s Theatre Director. I want to inspire people to feel and think and grow and learn—to own their creativity in whatever it is they choose to do <3 

dream trip: I love to explore, so anywhere really. But I definitely have a soft spot for trees and water. So anywhere with those things is great. Just like, hike all day and chill and listen to the babbling water, maybe take a swim if it’s safe. Yeahhhh :3 Also, Japan. I’ve wanted to go since I was like 9. And Ireland. I wanna sit in on some trad sessions with mah penny whistle a;lsdkjfa;lsdkfj

favorite food: Lettuce. I’m not even kidding. I fucking love lettuce. Like, I will eat that shit whole, plain, for a snack, whatever. Gimme the CRONCHy GREENSTUFF ;lakjs;lfkjasdf ...also I love ramen a whole lot. Like, real ramen. With the miso and soft boiled egg and chāshū mmmmMMMM~

play any instruments: Yeh! :3 Flute, violin, piano, ukulele, and penny/tin whistle. I dabble in others, like guitar and drums...and I’m always picking up new ones to learn i can’t staaahp. I’d really like to get a harp...but they’re just so damn expensive. One day, maybe.

languages: English, some French, some Japanese, and a liiiittle bit of Spanish.

favorite songs: Ohboiiii, too manyyyy. Better Together by Jack Johnson, A Fairy’s Love Song by Jean Luc Lenior, Far Horizons by Jeremy Soule, I Still Don’t Know Who I Am by Barnes Blvd., Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra, The Path of the Wind by Joe Hisaishi, Better Things by Headshine, Seven Years by Norah Jones, Such Great Heights by The Postal Service, Hotel Song by Regina Spektor, Ocean Kingdom & Rise Above & Enigmatic Soul & Undying Love all by Two Steps From Hell (omfg, i love these guyysss ;alksjfal;dsfkj), it’s space music timeAmong the Stars by Louis Viallet, The Edge of the Universe by Alex Doan, Theory of Rain & Age of the Universe by Elephant Music (I’ve actually really been into this playlist on YouTube lately...space musicccc asd;flaksjdf;ljf <3)...so many more, but i’mma stahp now, bc this is already long AF.

Random fact: Being in deep water sorta scares me. But I still like swimming. I’m just a lil scared and feel like something’s gon’ grab my toes and CRONCH a;lsdkfjalsdfj

describe yourself as aesthetic things: Lavender bushes, wild flowers, coffee shops and old books, green tea, fireflies in a field on a summer night, the moment before a thunderstorm rolls in, rain when the sun is shining, reading with a flashlight under the covers, the purples and blues in sunsets on the beach, flickering candlelight, a cottage in the woods on a rainy day, creating rainbows in the misty water from a hose, swinging on a swing set, writing a letter by the moonlight, rainbow fairy lights, oversized sweaters, car rides with the windows down, shooting stars, Saturn rings, galaxy prints.

I tag @legendofcarl (even though you’re already tagged, izza double-tag yo! >:3), @bookerror and @ghostarian !! <3

[north-texas-madhatter]

An old country boy... Sitting with my dad in the back yard at the edge of Tandy Hills overlooking downtown Fort Worth you would never know that you were in the presence of such greatness. He looks as old as time, Parkinson’s causes his hands to shake as he points to a family of raccoons just at the forests edge. My mom asks if anyone would like some tea and my dad cracks some corny joke that he has grown famous amongst friends and family for. I know he is hurting but for a man who could dig a ditch in 110 degree heat on his ranch he keeps a stiff upper lip but not one so stiff as not to smile at his own jokes.

He grew up in Springtown, Texas. A small dusty blue-collar town in the Bible Belt. The son of a Southern Baptist piano teacher (a kind but tough to the point frontier type woman) and a soft spoken father who worked for Swift / Armor Company. He was born in a room in a rock house sitting on a creek just outside of town and learned what tough was while working in the cold of winter and the stifling heat of summer. He bailed hay and saved up for college with a broader horizon in mind beyond what his small town life had to offer.

One of the earliest memories I have of my dad was a visit to his work for the Fort Worth Water Department. I stood there watching the bubbles percolate up through the basins of sand as he explained how water purification worked. I wasn’t all that interested, but his white lab coat looked neat and clean. The room was huge with high ceilings and I still remember the smell of chlorine being added to the water to make it safe for consumption by the general public. The building still stands today with beautiful archways and broken glass glittering in the sunlight just off the viaduct bridge off North Main Street.

On our way home we stopped at the Public Market building where I played outside. He soon emerged carrying a huge plastic cylinder that he had purchased from Cadillac Plastics. “What’s that dad?” I would ask. “We are going to do an experiment”, he replied. At that time the water was taken from a lake, sent into settling tanks, run through sand and lime and chlorine added so that you could drink it but my dad had an idea. One day he had been sitting eating a sandwich on a dock when a smelly, oily boat tied up next to him. He thought it was terrible that even with the filtering they did they still could not get all of the oil out of the water. So he took the cylinder and filled it with all the elements of the process already in place and ran a few gallons of water with a teaspoon of oil added. After doing this multiple times he could find some oil still present in the water that we would be drinking. But then he added activated charcoal to the process.

Performing the same test the oil was no longer present. I don’t have all the formulas or specifications of the process, but I can tell you that I do remember the look of joy on my dad’s face as he told me what he had accomplished. Now, this was not a new idea, the ancient Egyptian’s all the way up to Bear Grylls have used this process but for some reason water treatment plants at his time were not deploying this time tested solution for water purification. Afterward the process would be used worldwide.

After working for the Water Department my dad went on to get a job for General Dynamics in Fort Worth. He had two good friends in life. A Chinese fellow name Billy and an odd but very sweet man named Don. Billy, he met in college and is the reason he was able to pass his math classes. Billy would encourage my dad to study hard, often alternating between sitting and standing for hours cramming for tests. My dad would become lifelong friends with Billy and his wife, who later moved to New York City. My dad would attribute much of his early success to Billy and his study skills. Then later he would meet Don, another person who would be an influence. Don was a genius. Possibly one of the deadliest designers at the time.

He was tall, skinny to the point of being gaunt and paranoid for good reason. It was on a camping trip with my dad and Don in Colorado that I would find that he had three guns on him at all times. Scared of bears I asked how we would defend ourselves? That is when he delivered a .357 from a shoulder holster beneath his jacket and two more guns from pockets. It isn’t that he particularly liked guns or even had an interest in them. Not the smaller ones anyway. But when people say, the Russians might be after me, he really meant it. He was a weapons designer. He designed missiles, rockets and one particularly nasty device that would launch over the top of enemy troops and send small projectiles cutting them to ribbons. My father said that Don worked in a “special area” of General Dynamics where a sentry stood at the door and anyone found trying to enter without the proper clearance could be shot on the spot. With a frame like Ichabod Crane he would wave his hands around wildly if my father’s jokes were too long. But despite the many who may have met their demise at the devices created by Don he was a considerate and quiet man who loved dogs and would give the shirt off his back for friends (or a .357 for bear protection)

In a lab sitting across from the windswept runway of Carswell Airforce Base my dad could see planes landing and taking off again. The roar of war planes were constantly performing for the possibility of attack with their audience, a row of ominous behemoths, whose only purpose was to bring death and destruction on an epic scale, B-52 Stratofortress’s (Nuclear Armed). Rows of them ready to take off on a moment’s notice with a one-way ticket to Russia to deliver the ultimate gift, certain doom. To see these planes, take off all at once, meant possibly the end of the world.

It was a necessary evil, a deterrent, a status quo – a sword constantly at the ready.

Now, my dad hands me a picture, it is yellowed on the edges, black and white. He is standing with another man in front of dials and in another loading a large oven looking device. “Here I am putting carbon into an adhesive and compressing it for the skin of military planes” I sat there with surprise! “So this was the early stages of stealth technologies?” – “Possibly” he said with a sly smile.

The picture showed him, young slim and handsome in his black framed glasses surrounded by all kinds of technology we might see in an old Frankenstein movie. He carefully rises from the swing. The family of raccoons now eating from cat bowls scurry back to the forest at the bottom of the yard. He goes inside and shuffles through a mess of files laid out ready to tell a story to whomever might happen by. Emerging from the house he hands me a piece of what looks like charcoal with some material bonded to it. “I could have gotten in a little trouble but I forgot this was in my drawer until years later” Seems, that in many cases absent mindedness goes along with being genius and my dad fit the absentminded scientist to a tee.

It was rough and obviously aged but what I held in my hand was a piece of history. It allowed US warplanes to slip into enemy territory undetected by radar and destroy enemy SAM (Surface to Air Missile) sites. This saved countless numbers of military lives and air wars to be over in a matter of hours rather than months. It was a material that absorbed radar and along with the profile of the plane and placement of engines made it almost invisible to the enemy. That is until it was in sight, followed shortly by a bomb that incinerated the observer and the missile battery targeted by the specter pilot.

My dad’s talents were not spent all on the doom and gloom of warfare. He also worked on the first rocket to the moon. And would be thanked by one of the Astronauts personally for his and the countless number of other scientists who worked on the Saturn V Rocket. The rocket that propelled them away from Earth to the Big Cheese in the sky. A rocket that had its predecessors as test rockets, some that would blow up into ribbons raining back to the ground for my dad and his team to collect and figure out why.

After the Vietnam War contracts for war planes would slowly disappear. Layoffs were on everyone’s mind but my dad seeing the writing on the wall got a teaching certificate and finally after surviving two layoffs was handed his slip. He had saved the company thousands and thousands of dollars, saved an untold number of American’s lives, helped put men on the moon and won two General Dynamic’s Presidents awards. But nothing could save him from the letters of R-I-F (Reduction in Force) the dreaded layoff. And with a wife and young son to support he went home to his family.

That Christmas was dismal. We were worried what to do as my dad looked for a job. We drove through the city to see the Christmas lights to try and cheer ourselves up. That is when we noticed a man sleeping on a park bench in downtown Fort Worth. It was bitter cold and all he had was newspaper, we were not sure if he was even alive. We pulled the car over and my dad went to the trunk where he had an old blanket for emergency should we ever break down on the side of the road. Back then Winters were cold and blue northers could bring a warm t-shirt and shorts kind of day to a blustery snow filled sky in a matter of hours. Handing my mom the blanket they together placed it over the man but he made no movement.

When we got home my mother was concerned and called the police to let them know there was a man who we thought may be deceased. We all kinda sat there on the big burnt orange sofa that was so much the fashion of the late seventies. That is when we decided that instead of buying each other presents for Christmas we would pool our money and buy blankets for the homeless. It was the most memorable Christmas I had until the present ones spent with our own children. We handed the blankets out across downtown. My father soon after landed a job as a middle school teacher at Irma Marsh Middle School.

I never forgot that Christmas and how grateful people were that had far less than us. I would later be hiking through Tandy Hills Park and stumble upon a homeless camp. There was no one to be seen but from the items left behind it appeared that a woman had lived in the dug out hovel. There was a Bible, pictures of two children and a makeshift stove. It was close to the Holidays and a tree nearby reminded me of a Christmas Tree we saw while driving around handing out blankets. I returned a few days later with toilet paper, first aid items, canned food and Christmas Tree ornaments. The location of the Hovel was just down the hill from a stray Mimosa Tree that stood lonely on a hill next to the highway.

As Christmas approached my mom and I piled into her big blue Lincoln and drove downtown to do some shopping. As we approached the hill where the Mimosa tree stood I could see something reflect as it caught the sunlight. It was decorated with Christmas Ornaments! The same ones that I had left at the hovel. I would later learn that the woman who had lived in the woods picked herself up, got a job at the local homeless shelter and returned annually to decorate the tree. After her passing, friends and people from the community began decorating the tree in her honor and it was aptly named The Homeless Christmas Tree. It inspired a beautiful children’s book that my wife and I now read to our children every Christmas season. The tree is now slowly disappearing, and I have always wanted to create a sculpture to put in its place. Maybe something to add to those many retirement projects that I have planned.

It is now getting late and the mosquitoes are biting. I look at my parents and they look back, it is still a warm Summer evening but a cool breeze can be felt blowing through the trees. The cacophony of cicadas chirping out their symphony is almost deafening and it is time to leave one family to return to another. I know they won’t be here forever but my parents have made a lot of lemonade from the lemons handed to them over the years and it has prepared me for the challenging times I have had in life. Times that if just seen in a different perspective can bring great things to be achieved during uncertainty. Because in the end we would never know true greatness without great struggle. Or how a poor country boy can reach for and finally grasp the stars – my dad.

[alyjojo]

Today is the story of how my pregnancies came to be, without the fun stuff. It plays a very large role in why I believe in God tbh.

So my ex. It’s a relevant start. Him and I were together four years, never used protection, dumb as that is. I bring that up at because, for much of that time, I just didn’t have periods. Like at all.

After about a year of waiting and taking pregnancy tests wondering what the hell, I went to the doctor (I hate doctors...back then fear won, a lot) and she gave me pills to force me to have one.

I would have one sporadically after, so I didn’t feel like a mutant, and I’d be like well okay...and didn’t go back to the doctor. But it was every few months.

PCOS seems to run in my family, my cousin has used years of fertility treatments to have children, and though it’s worked it’s been a hell of a struggle for her. I was always kind of afraid I couldn’t have kids.

July 2007, I felt a way that was different, didn’t have a period as usual, took a pregnancy test. This was a regular thing with the lack of periods. Positive. ....what?? Told him, and he lost his fn mind. I can’t describe just how stupid he acted, and I was lost. How I knew later he was a cheating pos. We went to Planned Parenthood to take their test. Negative. Idiot danced to his car, and something in me knew he was an idiot but I just let it go.

We broke up a few days later, he did, of course.

The day after we broke up, midst all my emotions yanno how that goes, I started on my own for the first time in...I couldn’t remember. And it stayed that way, regular, every month, ever since.

Mom said “it’s the guy”, who by that point she was kind of disgusted with too lol. Well. Yeah. It was? Seems so. Angry and blaming and rawr at God like I was and they were like nope sorry...not that one, and I just showed you that 🙏

He continuously plays a role in this story. Idk if he was A soulmate of some sort. I’m definitely one of his life lessons. It’s always been...deeper, even if we don’t even get along. At all.

Ok so hubby. Years later. Ex was long gone, didn’t talk didn’t nada, I lived with my boyfriend 😜 and his parents for a year, working on my car and saving money for a place. Which I did, we moved in August and September 18 (my late gmas bday), I hadn’t had a period and took a test like oh this crap again. Honestly didn’t think I could have kids...never had a scare in the year I’d already been with hubby.

Pregnant. Whaaat? So my EX sends me an email the next fn day. How? I have no idea. I had told hubby...that’s it. I don’t even remember what the email said, how are you or something idk, I avoided it like the plague before being like omg just answer and writing something quickly, send, delete. Never read it again. I’d gotten him out of my brain space tyvm bye. Well in my response was something like lol I’m pregnant. He was the 2nd person to know. And considering he flipped out and left over a baby...karma.

In my later belief system, and seeing my oldest’s chart, she has much Libra/Scorpio influencing her (10th, Saturn/Moon). I felt like initially that positive may have been her, just long enough to get him tf out. The timing of his message blew my mind. Didn’t speak again for like 10 years, baby daughter got the name I had always wanted, and gmas middle to honor her. I still see 9:18 periodically. Love u Gma ❤️

So next baby. After two years in our first apartment, we were bombarded with BEES 🐝 Like this was insane level of bees, you couldn’t leave the house without these threatening mfers chasing you to the car, management was shit, we moved.

Moved into a bigger nicer apartment in a nicer part of town. August again. Had a fun night with some drinks to celebrate the night we moved in...no protection, big fun, hubby joked drunk, there’s #2.

So September 11th...I bought it 😆 But I refused to do it on that day. September 12th...hello baby girl #2.

Years and years pass, we use condoms regularly. Very careful always. Idk how my son came to be and I’ll say it till I die. I went back to work, I had lost a bunch of weight lol, I was not in baby mode at all. I was 100% done. So much that for two months I didn’t even realize. Until my jeans stopped fitting and I was like WTF. Sure enough. Hello baby boy.

I had been playing the sure let’s be friends game 🙄 with some of my ex’s after hubby’s stupid bs. Nothing more trust & believe, hell no. And it just doesn’t work as friends either so idk why we ever tried. Will never get along. The other ones were just drama...was my Saturn return, that was a nightmare. Then we entered his, and that was also a nightmare. That’s as much as I’ll say about that 💯

The last thing I said to that same ex, 10 years later...I’m pregnant 😆 It’s a kind of karma somehow. Goodbye again, the same way it’ll always be. Like God was like I’m sorry, you need a reminder?

My children ❤️

I always blamed my husband for doing it on purpose. Because he was so happy when I was. He’ll always deny it, but the boy came out DADDY’S boy and I just let him take over because...well he wanted to. And for the first time, the baby wanted, demanded, him too. It was actually insanely sweet, still is.

I went to the doctor and said I guess I’m due in February? She’s like try Christmas. I literally threw away the whole doctor and got a new one because I thought she was lying to me 😆

So on Christmas DAY, 6pm, I’m making meatloaf bc I knew a baby would be coming soon and we didn’t want a fridge full of leftovers...water breaks. 7cm dialated by 7pm, they gave me meds to slow down while hubby dropped off the kids at gmas. Little Aries moon was OUT in four hours 🤣 My biggest baby.

Jane...we were again very careful. Condom flew off inside of me completely. Like flew. Idk how tf that happens and it was very uncomfortable to fix btw. We knew, and when it was positive, we knew. We were not in a good place at that time. It was bad.

She was due on my cousins bday, and down to the very signs they would’ve been similar, and my cousin has lost babies...kind of how we had our falling out. She was mad at me for having my boy, but she was petty and rude to me for months, it broke my heart, then her mom my aunt tells me how she and my mother just talk shit about us both, when I trusted her the most, I just...bye. Gtfo ur one of them. Cried.

Well Jane. I lost Jane. I’ll always be sad about it. Cap with Gemini moon (supposed to) ended up being a little lost Leo. Same middle name as my cousin.

It’s here I’ll mention our foster kids. Hubby’s niece by blood, nephew by marriage. They were hard, that situation was hard, the boy is on the spectrum (which I now know means dick all really, he’s incredibly normal despite his horrific early circumstances) and he alone needs a lot of care. And their parents broke up and his dads side wanted them...he’s not ours, how could we claim him first? Our niece fits like a glove, she is ours. His sisters. We felt it was taking away from our kids after awhile, having two more suddenly, with DFS and court and visits and phone calls. We were getting screamed at by the parents for trying to be good people...then my car broke down with this timing chain nightmare, his was totaled (fk u forever)...then came the positive with boy, and we gave the kids to their Dad’s mom. Who is a very nice lady, with money, sister in law be pissed or not. We all felt we just couldn’t do it.

The boy was a Christmas Eve boy. Hilarious and so smart and adorable and sweet, just a lot of work. Our niece, a Leo, born way too early (late Oct due date). Small, tiny, but healthy.

My son is Christmas Day. Hilarious and SO smart and adorable and so sweet...a lot of work. Can not look away for two seconds. Also breaks things. Also punches his sisters. Even looks kinda like our nephew. Its eerie.

I tell my husband we didn’t keep the kids...we had the kids 😞 Because I ended up losing my little Leo, born way too early 😢

These kids are why I believe everything, they’re why I have faith, they’re how I notice the funny little things others wave off as oh it’s coincidence. No, it’s not.

Whether there’s another in the future idk. With Covid it’s not something I want right now. I did have my heart set on 4, once Jane came into the picture.

Maybe someday. Maybe not. Besides #2, which hubby joked about, and she’s a silly sarcastic goose just like her Daddy 😆, it seems God has more say on that then I ever have. With everything.

Take charge types scold me like “you have the power”, and I’m like oh yeah watch this. Try to work or try to do anything, car tires burst or something, some emergency, hubby has some insane project he needs me with them for, a baby appears, or foster kids, something always happens to keep me home. They all need me here. Just how it works in my life.

Someday...who knows? For now, this year, I’m a homeschool teacher ❤️ We’re happy 😊

[ghost1643]

Hogwash-idea

(So since JK Rowling is asking like a trash again, I figured I’d posted the Hogwarts story idea I wrote when I was in middle school baed off of a tumblr idea about a few ideas a read on tumblr, mainly one about a Muslim student at Hogwarts, which happens to be Alma but, I never learned enough about the religion to feel like I could write it even remotely correctly.)

And pleas let me say that I also had plans to add two gay couples (one was two boys, one from Spanish boy from Slithern named Cole and one was from Raven claw, was an African American named Jack) (other couple was to girls, one named Oliva and was from raven claw and one was Abbigail who comes uo later in this rant part) a bisexual boy named Eric from hufflepuff puff ti the group and a trans griffindor girl, name Abbigal, who was supposed to have freckles and always wear pink just b/c she likes it.)

Year one, day zero

It was a normal day at platform 9 3/4. Wizard and muggle parents were hugging their children goodbye before they left. One family had a young eleven year old who was trying to escape his mother's grip.

Graham's mother was hugging him to death while giving him kisses. Each time she would kiss his blushing cheeks red lip stick stain in her lips place. Meanwhile behind his mother, his father was holding back a stiff laugh while his little sister hugged his legs tightly. Meanwhile his grandfather just watched from a distance with a look of disgust on his face as he saw muggles walk by. Each one of these family members had bright blond hair so, it was easy to tell who was related.

"Ma, stop it. You're embarrassing me!" Graham complained. His mother kept hugging him to death. Like always her long blond hair flew in the wind with ever move she took. As for her black dress, it went to the floor, covered her arms completely and had a red belt to it. She also had a grey cape over her back.

Meanwhile his little sister Tulip whipped her running nose on his black pant leg. She was wearing the same perfect red puff dress as always. Her hair was always in perfect curls too. The young six year old girl always found a way to look as cute as possible. Even while crying her eyes out.

"Melissa, we have to let him go. Even his owl is getting impatient." His father chuckled. Graham's mother let another snuffle escape her mouth as she let go of her baby boy. Tulip copied her mother but, ended up hugging her mom's legs instead.

"I know but, I can't help it. It feels like just yesterday I was holding him in my arms and now he's off to Hogwarts." Melissa sobbed looking at her young son. Her dark brown eyes were filled with almost as much tears that were in her daughter's brown eyes. She pushed her hands through her son's blond hair with a sad smile. Graham reached up  and held his mothers hand.

"Mom, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. I'm gonna be just fine." Graham smiled. His mother gave him another sad smile before she walked over to her husband. She some how had escaped her daughter's grip. Which was probably why she was back to hugging his legs while crying.

"Tulip, I gotta go." Graham smiled as he messed with his sister's perfect hair. She looked up with big tears in her eyes.

"Don't forget about me." She begged as she finally let go.

"How can I forget my favourite flower?" Graham asked as he put his left hand back on his suit cases. Meanwhile the snowy owl that had been walking back in forth on it's cage was now trying to find a way out. The cage began rocking back and forth while sitting on top of his suit cases.

Graham just sighed as he began to walk into a large train that had just pulled up to the station. Meanwhile his crying mother and sister were hugging his father to death. Yet, his grandfather raced over and pulled him into a hug. Graham froze before hugged him back. His grandfather usually was never like this. Not even at his great uncles funeral.

"Stay away from mudbloods. They don't deserve to be with us today." His grandfather whispered in his ear. Graham sighed. Wizards born by normal non magic users were known as his grandfather's worst enemy. In fact, there were rumours going around his home that he killed two muggle children at a beach and was never charged.

Graham preyed that those weren't true. Yet, he knew there was a chance that this happened. After all his grandfather talked about being a death eater at house parties at their place. Were they true? Only his grandfather knew.

"I will." Graham lied. His grandfather pulled away with a Saturn smile on his face.

"Good." His grandfather stated as a loud whistle rung out from the train behind them. Quickly he turned his back and hurried into the train. A few more children ran in after him. You could hear them laughing an stalking with each other. Then everyone ran to the windows as the train began moving.

Graham hung out an opened window. His little sister, mother and father were waving goodbye from where they stood. That is until his sister as well as his mother chased the train with tear running down their faces. He waved goodbye whole yelling,

"See you all this Christmas!"

The he turned around to see six children staring at him. Quickly they all turned around but, he knew why they were staring.

(Sorry text is stuck like this for some reason now)

He was apparently related to a death eater. It was like a sort of disease at this school. Everyone hated them. They did kill a lot of people though. Like thousands of non-magic users and magic users. Thousands of families were ripped apart before the dark lords defeat in 1999. Yet, it was 2017 and no was one was over it. No one would ever be over it. There were even rumours of the dark lords child being around. So, every child was ready to turn on a slitherin or others if needed.

Graham quickly ran down a hallway looking for an open compartment. The first one he saw was full of ravenclaw second years. As for the second one, it was full of fifth slitherins. Now the third was full of fourth year griffindors. Then as you could guess, the fifth was full of third year hufflepuffs. After that when ever he would look in a compartment  someone would close the door quickly. That is until, he entered a compartment with a brown haired girl in current world muggle clothing.

"Is this seat taken?" He asked. The young girl's bright brown eyes drifted from the window to him. Looking in them made him think of the best hot chocolate ever. Her eyes also made his heart speed up a bit.

"Nope. It probably won't be either unless you sit in it." She stated. Her voice was high pitched but, had a sort of tone that made it sound like she was singing a beautiful medley. It also lacked the same accent that everyone around him spoke. This some how made her more unique in his eye.

Graham sat down next to the strange girl. She was wearing a weird hoodie that was rainbow coloured with a symbols that read "nike". Graham assumed that 'Nike' was some sort of secret muggle club. She also appeared to be wearing long blue pants with rips in them. Which also look a little weird to him. There was also a golden heart necklace around her neck.

"I'm Graham by the way." He smiled as he extended his hand. A tiny cute smile spread across her large pink lips.

"I'm Melody. And if you don't mind me asking, what the fresh heck are you wearing?" She asked looking at his outfit. Graham was wearing a green fancy robe that had a black gem stone right under his neck. He kinda looked like he was a vampire or something. Or at least to Melody it did. Maybe she should stop watching monster movies with her family.

"It's a robe. A very fancy expensive one. Plus, I wanted to know what are you wearing?" He asked.

"This is common non-mag, I mean muggle clothes. What? Never seen a muggle born before?" Melody asked with a smirk. Wait, this girl was a muggle born? He had never seen one this up close before. Especially one who knew about the wizarding world.

"Your a muggle born? What's life like for you? No wait, is it true you have some sort of machine to wash dishes for you that can't use magic? Is it also true you have a machine to wash clothes? Is it true that ghost can talk to muggle too? What's your house like? I bet it's tiny! Oh do you have a pet? Not like a magic pet but, a normal pet that cane be handled by muggles. Is it true that you can adopt a large dog and have it be a hard dog for you? What's this LGBTQ I heard about?" Graham asked over 21 questions after these. Melody just felt her face heat up a bit until he stopped talking. After words a tiny bit of laughter filled the room. It was one of the prettiest things Graham had ever heard.

"You've never meet a muggle or muggle born before have you?" She asked. Graham shook his head no. With a smile she began to explain all of these things as the train continued down the track.

Eventually the two twelve year olds bought candies. Oka, Graham went to guy the candies then heard Melody stomach rumble. Then he found out she didn't have any money, just a couple sandwiches. Which she searched for and couldn't find. So he bought candies for them to split. What kinds? Well he got chocolate frogs, jelly slugs, Bertie Bott's every flavour jelly beans, acid pops, ice mice and fizzing whizbees. All of which Melody loved.

The two began joking around while, eating wizard candy until Graham put a single yellow jelly in his mouth. Then he had a look of disgust fell across his face. Quickly he stuck his younger out and tried to look for a place to spit it out. He raced around their art until a laughing Melody opened a window. He spit that out the window before she could say anything.

"W-what flavour was that?" Melody asked through a lot of laughter. Graham whipped his tongue on his hand once. Then he realized that the taste was still there. So he did it again. And again. And again. He ended up doing this 15 times before the taste was gone. While he did this Melody continued to laugh her butt off.

"Vomit. It was vomit flavoured." Graham stated. Melody laughed before saying one thing.

"This is going to be the best school ever."

~time skip~

The large sorting hat was placed on top of Melody's long brown hair. She looked as nervous as everyone else did. Yet, she didn't whisper which house she wanted to be in or not be in like everyone else now a days. Nope. She just kept whispering,

"Please let me have friends where ever I go for once."

She just kept repeating it over again and again. That is until five seconds later when everyone heard it say something. Which was...

"Hufflepuff."

Graham felt his face fall from where he was sitting. He had kinds hoped that Melody got sorted into Slytherin with him. Not so she could be the fist muggle born in there. Nope. So he could be friends with a non rich kid. Yet, this didn't mean they still couldn't talk.

Soon Graham found him self sleepily walking to the dungeon to the Slytherin dorm room. He rubbed the sleep out of his blue eyes as the people around him were laughing and talking. They had tried to avoid him. These kids seemed to hate him too. Who knows why!

"This year the password is mudblood." The perfect let out a crew smiled. Graham felt his face fall. He wasn't going to say that word daily just to go in his room. Nope! He would rather sleep in the hallway. So would two other Slytherin. Which they would end up doing in exact two days.

~~~~~~~…~💜~~~~~

Year one, day one

Character based on this head canon.

Graham could feel his eyes bulge out of his head as he saw a fimilar brunette race across the room to the ravenclaw dining table. Students were supposed to sit with their houses while eating. Not other houses. Yet, he soon realized she was talking to a girl with olive skin wearing a blue scarf over her head. The young girl she was talking to was sitting all alone at the end of the table. Which was probably why Melody was able to get to that seat quickly.

The two girl's laughed a bit as the scarf girl ate vegetables. Which seemed to be the only thing on her plate. The scarf girl's brown eyes seemed to be filled with as much joy as ever as she seemed to tell a joke. He only assumed it was a joke since it made Melody laugh so hard she snorted.

Then they seemed to talk about something else. Something Melody said made the scarf girl look that way. Her dark brown eyes were confused before she turned to Melody. Graham's face heated up as he saw this scarf girl saying something to her while pointing her long olive fingers at him. Melody's brown eyes flew over to him. A large smile spread across her face as she waved him over. Meanwhile scarf girl giggled a bit.

Graham looked to his left. Then his right. Afterwords the large table where the teachers ate. Luckily the teachers were all to gust talking to notice the hufflepuff sitting with a ravenclaw. Then there was also the fact that no one at this table would ever listen to him. He was really bored at this table anyways.

So he made a mad dash over to that table. Somehow he got over to the seat in front of the two girl's without being seen. Both girl's giggled a bit seeing the look of fear on his face. Plus his hair was a mess. Quickly he ran his hand through his hair before smiling back. Hopefully it was back to normal.

"Hi. I'm Graham." He smiled. The scarf girl giggled the same time Melody laughed. They both had large smiles on their face.

"Graham this is my friend, Almas." Melody smiled. Graham smiled as he extended a hand to her.

"It's nice to meet you Graham. Melody talks about you a lot." Alma smiled. She had a accent he had heard before. It was a nice accent. A beautiful one but, not as beautiful as Melody's voice all together.

"Nice go meet you Almas." Graham smiled. Almas looked at him for a moment before a large smile spread across her face.

"You know, you are unlike any other Slytherin I meet here so far." Almas stated as she ate a fork of vegetables. Graham sighed. That would make sense. Other Slitherns weren't exactly the make friends kind of people. They preferred to stay together like a wolf pack so that no one would judge them. It seemed to be the only thing anyone did any more.

"I know, I am the most handsome boy in the house." Graham smiled leaning back in his seat and holding his leg in the air in a bit. All while making something called 'duck lips' that Melody said models in the muggle world used. Both girl's giggled while looking at each other.

"I don't know about that." Almas smiled. Graham sat up straight before putting on a a fake pouting look on his face. This just made both girl's giggle again. Which in Graham's defence was his plan.

"but, you're the only one who has actually talked to me in your house and mine." Almas sighed. Graham could feel his face scrunch up. No one had talked to her? Why? She looked like any other kid here. So, why had no one talked to her yet?

"Like I said Almas, if you want I could always make them talk to you." Melody stated looking at her. Almas sighed.

"I know you can but, I still I just want one person in this house to talk to me on their own will. Not because they're forced to be my potions partner." Almas stated again.

"How many times do I have to tell you, that's not the reasons I talked to you for." Melody sighed. Graham looked at Almas again. Why would no one talk to her?

"If it helps, Melody talks to everyone. She likes everyone." Graham explained. Almas's eyes lit up as a tiny smile spread across her face. Meanwhile Graham was now frowning. Did she really think Melody didn't like her?

"I would never have suspected that." Almas smirked as she ate another bite of her supper. Melody rolled her eyes.

"I told you. Now, let's get back to the topic we were talking about before hand. Graham?" Melody asked. Graham jumped a bit hearing Melody say his name. Almas now had a larger smile on her face. Almost as if she knew something was there. Something that Melody wouldn't admit was ever there.

"Yeah?" Graham asked.

"Would you tell Almas that anime isn't all blood and guts! She's only heard of one and now she think all anime are bloody!" Melody complained throwing her hands up in the air. Graham stared at her for a moment.

"What the bloody hell is anime?" Graham asked. Melody's jaw dropped.

"You both have much to learn my apprentices. So much to learn." Melody explained.

[shutupandblog]

cute tags

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? // more milk! 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? // YES OMG YES. 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? // forks, notes, socks....anything I find in that moment... 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? // tea: just with water. coffee: flavoured creamer.... 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? // YEAH. 6: do you keep plants? // my mom forces her plants onto me so I have unexpected children to take care of. 7: do you name your plants? // no, I'll feel bad if I forget their names. 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? // songwriting 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? // sing out loud, man. but yeah. 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? // fall asleep on back easiest but wake up on my side. 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? // innovation at its finest, man. 12: what's your favorite planet? // saturn 13: what's something that made you smile today? // finding some of my old songs and realizing that they're not ALL lost. I was a genius in 2014 and backed it up on usb wow 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? // open concept omf hit me with the natural light and big windows. no walls. big kitchen. no curtains. piano. hardwood. pictures in frames. 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! // "The Apollo astronauts' footprints on the moon will probably stay there for at least 100 million years." Source: https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&ved=0ahUKEwji75-ZwYXXAhWqxFQKHSroDssQFggxMAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmashable.com%2F2014%2F03%2F05%2Fsun-stars-space-facts%2F&usg=AOvVaw2BqM1yEL36GBccqMtEtOWs) 16: what's your favorite pasta dish? // i don't normally eat pasta so every time i see pasta i'll take anything. 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? // grey and lavender. 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. // 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? // i keep a lyric dump journal! 20: what's your favorite eye color? // GREEN 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. // my navy backpack was with my throughout high school and ib and i'm still using it in uni, so it's been to hell twice. 22: are you a morning person? // hell no 23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? // listen to all my cd's and find new artists...song write...listen to more music... 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? // yes 25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? // lol none 26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? // threw them out yo 27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? // banana  28: sunrise or sunset? // sunrise 29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? // my one friend has a habit of crossing her legs and tapping her foot that’s in the air when she listens / hums music and it’s sO CUTE. 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? // yeah. my mom went through a rough time and I hated being awake. 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. // in general: no socks. Weird socks are cool. I usually take off my socks as soon as I walk in through the front door. If I wear songs, they’re ankle length. Can’t do anything higher than that. I hate tights, I don’t do tights. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. // i literally think we woke up at 4 to watch MAMA 2015 together. 33: what's your fave pastry? // i have no idea....bread pudding served on pie crust and ice cream? 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? // it’s gone. but it was called bonsai and it was a giant ass panda and i miss it. I had to get rid of it because we were moving and its head got ripped off. Or, ripped in half should I say. 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? // I love them but I never indulge in it!!! alkjngakjdfd 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? // my mood right now? omg bts - wings. 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?  // messy. 38: tell us about your pet peeves! // wet bathroom floors, getting my socks wet, sweaty in the winter, when people touch my things and don’t put them back where they are supposed to be so i can’t find it ugh, touching people’s food while doing dishes (SCRAPE YOUR PLATE @ SIBLINGS), people stepping on my shoes, looming too close to me while talking....etc.... 39: what color do you wear the most? // grey, black, pink. 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? // all my jewelry is meaningless bc I bought it all myself. Ahh- I have this one pearl necklace that my grandpa and dad bought for me in china and I haven’t worn it once. 41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? // gallagher girls series 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! // i’m not a coffee person 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? // myself a few mornings ago when I was going to my lab and waiting at the bus stop. 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? // when i was in hawaii doing the longest hike of my life and finally reaching the “end” of the island and you could see no city. Just sea lions, turtles and water. Dark stones. Wind. It was just myself and it was quiet and it was so beautiful. I have so many videos. 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? // fuck that shit, I got so many q’s wrong on tests because of it. 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. // gravity sucks. 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? // onions omf 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? // the dark. and yeah. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? // I LOVE CDs. Last record I bought: paramore- after laughter (i think). 50: what's an odd thing you collect? // cineplex tickets and guitar picks. 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? // my friend S- I associate her with the song “Tokyo Jellybean” by Ingrid St-Pierre. She’s one of my favourite artists. I have never told her this. 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? lol cracking a cold one with the boys bc my psych always opens a pop can in the middle of this lecture (ALL THE TIME) and i just get reminded. 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? only heathers bc my friend showed it to me and I really liked it! 54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? // my friend Y. 55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? // raised my voice? 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? // being completely absorbed in their work, drinking coffee and looking out the bus window, falling asleep in random places. 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? // uhh i just use this song to check if my right headphone is working lol 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? // wine mom is T and vodka aunt is Y. I mean, if you meet them you’ll know. 59: what's your favorite myth? // im uneducated 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? // i like poetry- short poetry. 61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? // I gave cough drops / i received paperclip holders 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? // i’m a morning water person 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? // YEAH I AM. Bookshelf man. 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? // black 65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? // no bc if I haven’t seen you in a long time, I’ve probably dropped you. 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? // baby’s breath, blue bells, daisy. 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? // I LIVE FOR THOSE DAYS 68: what's winter like where you live? // either snowy heaven or mushy hell 69: what are your favorite board games? // i’m basic, so monopoly. 70: have you ever used a ouija board? / no 71: what's your favorite kind of tea? // oolong or vanilla something.... 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? // yeah i really need to 73: what are some of your worst habits? // drop my clothes all over the bedroom floor and leave them there.  74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. // a breath of fresh air 75: tell us about your pets! // i had a goldfish once but on the car ride home to my house it died. 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? // STUDYING WTF AM I DOING ANSWERING A 100 QUESTION TAG 77: pink or yellow lemonade? // PINK 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? // i’m a spectator  79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? // painted me fake polaroids and stuck them in a colouring book omg 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? // tan. it’s the colour of my entire house.  81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. // didn’t pass engl man i can’t do this 82: are/were you good in school? // i WAS 83: what's some of your favorite album art? // rise against, fob, volbeat, ingrid st pierre, ts, bts. 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? // i’ve always wanted a roman numeral tattoo but i don’t do commitment. 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? // i only read peanuts and archie as a kid 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? // i only listen to pink floyd ..the wall. 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? // not a movie person. can’t comment. 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? // idk.... 89: are you close to your parents? // sure 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. // tokyo omg god save me 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? // the farthest i’ll get is my bed 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? // barely sprinkles a pinch 93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? // up 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? // my auntie 95: what are your plans for this weekend? // this weekend is over and so is my academic career 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? // procrastinate 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? // 1. don’t know, 2. scorpio, 3. ravenclaw 98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? // real hike: this summer in hawaii, fake hike: w my friends downtown. I loved both times the same. 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. // Exo- what if/my answer, Taylor- all too well/never grow up, Shawn: running low, Alessia: my song, Bts: sea, Pierre Luc lessard: sans combat 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? // 5 years in the future. The past 5 years have been hard.

I tag: @kabul1998, @iamnotmadamebovary

[lovenerdywinnerbouquetfan-blog]

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hi, i bought a 2005 saturn on sat. i am tryng to get insurance quotes, so what i need to know what exactly does full coverage include? details please!! NO RUDE ANSWERS!!!""

Bankruptcy and life insurance?

I have plain old life insurance with my husband as beneficiary. Do I have to cancel life insurance if I file bankruptcy? I want to have this for security for my husband and five children should anything ever happen to me. It has no cash value.

How much should i expect for insurance cost on a used 2005 nissan altima?

i know it varies, but can i get a range?""

Liability insurance for an online vitamin store. Do I need it? And how can I get it?

Hi yahoo friends, I have a new website. I want to sell vitamin and supplements. One of a whole sellers asked me for copy of liability insurance. What is it? Do I need it since I sell their products, should the liability go to them? How can I get it? Please help me , if you know the answer. Thank you.""

What other affordable insurance could i get for my kids for them to be able to get braces as needed?

im currently unemployed and have the medical cARD AND MY CHILDREN NEED BRACES WHAT OTHER LOW COST INSURANCE COULD or should i get for them to be able to get the braces they need

What is the average cost of motorcycle insurance in illinois for a 21 year old?

What is the average cost of motorcycle insurance in illinois for a 21 year old?

Motorcycle or Scooter Insurance in London?

How much would the insurance be for a motorcycle or scooter worth less than 4,000GBP in London? I'm hoping that it would be a lot less than a 50cc scooter in Dublin worth about 400GBP costing 200GBP for insurance per year.""

How much can home insurance cost?

i want to buy a home and i need to know how much my insurance might be.

Car Insurance Question... PLEASE HELP!?

My sister bumped another car when she was backing out, when the car saw her backing out but still went ahead and there was no damage. My sister, in a moment of insanity, gave the woman, who is an attorney, her insurance number and some other information. All she took from the woman was her name and email. Now we have a claim coming in. We have no idea what to do. She is still in college, and is under my parent's insurance. There was obviously nothing wrong with the car. My parents are beside themselves with worry, because the claim could mean anything from $50-$20,000. Words cannot explain my anger towards my sister's naivety in the human race. What can we do? We will know more about the claim tomorrow.""

Can I buy salvage cars from insurance auctions and then resell them as-is using a seller permit in California?

I want to know if is legal to use my sellers permit to buy totaled cars or salvaged cars at auction to the resell them (as is) in ebay. would i need a dealer license if I selling more than 5 a year?

""In Oregon, is a pedestrian hit by a car, treated as uninsured driver without car insurance?""

Eleven years ago, I was hit by a car walking down a road in Oregon. When it came time for the medical bills to be paid, (spine fractured in 3 places, knee completely blown out, 8 days in hospital) and the settlement I was told because I did not carry car insurance, I am considered an uninsured driver. I was stuck with a $25,000 hospital bill, and a $12,000 settlement. People do not believe me when I tell them this was the law at the time. Anyone know if this is still the law in Oregon?""

Learners permit insurance?

My parents are divorced and my mom took me to get my permit and signed for it. In order to drive with my dad do I have to have a card of her insurance in the car?

Can a car insurance co. refuse to remove a driver who has moved out of the house and no longer drives?

Mom, dad, daughter, and son lived together and were on the same car insurance policy. A few months ago, son had a minor accident with no one else involved - he was not hurt, only some damage to the car. Filed a claim and took care of it. A few months later, son moves out of the house, to a major city where he will use only public transportation. Can the insurance company refuse to remove son from the policy, even though he no longer lives in the house, no longer drives, and does not own a car? Insurance company is refusing to remove him, and says he must stay on the policy for 3 years? Is this legal, or is this lunacy?""

What's the cheapest car to insure for a 17 year old?

I've just turned 16 and I am starting to save up for a car/insurance, I'm just wondering whats the cheapest car to buy and insure for a 17 year old. I know it varies where you live ect ect, but I'm just wondering generally. Also would a robin reliant be cheap to insure?""

Has your auto insurance premium gone up?

I live in NJ and currently have AAA auto insurance, and my premium just renewed, and I noticed it went UP $300! I have no points, tickets, none of that. I didn't buy any other vehicles, or anything. I called them and they told me they had an overall rate increase. I think they're giving me the run around. I've never had a random rate increase ever before.""

Would insurance on a 2005 pontiac GTO be cheaper then insurance on a 2000 Grand Prix GTP (Supercharged)?

jw

Where can I get cheap health insurance.?

Where can I get cheap health insurance.?

Cheap car insurance?

Cheap car insurance?

What kind of insurance should I get?

I need dental braces but can't afford them. Is there dental insurance that I can get so that I wont have to spend so much out of pocket??

Insurance declared car total loss?

Insurance declared car total loss does that mean i have no more car insurance???

Whats the best insurance for infertility?

I'm using blue cross and blue shield and it covers NOTHING!

How much is it for car insurance on a Nissan Altima?

I am 19 years old and I want to get a used Nissan Altima 2003 but I need t know how much is it going to be to insure? thank you

Is there a such thing as Cheap online insurance ?

I'm looking for some auto insurance for my car. I can't use the general aare there any sites that offer cheap auto insurance?

Is car insurance much cheaper if you have a old car?

I want to buy a 1968 dodge charger and I heard that if it's like 25 years or older car insurance is real cheap is this true

Need help finding car insurance?

I need my own insurance policy in order to get off of my mom's, but I need one that is cheap and affordable. Any ideas?""

car insurance for subaru wrx

car insurance for subaru wrx

How does Obamacare increase health insurance premiums?

i've been seeing that they've gone up more when the reform was suppose to lower them. how exactly was obamacare suppose to lower insurance premiums?

Car Insurance Yearly Cost.?

I am a 19 year old male, and have had a licence for basically 3 years now, I live in Alberta Canada, and have already completed my Test to get off of my GDL (Graduated Drivers Licence). I have taken, and completed driver training, and I have not made a claim or gotten any driving infractions (tickets or whatever) whatsoever. Without collision on my 2003 honda Civic coupe, what should my yearly insurance payment be? Right not I am paying $1600 and it seems like it is too much.""

Small Business General Liability Insurance rates for premiums and audits?

The small business that I work for is currently shopping for a GL carrier and in getting quotes, questions are coming up that I just cannot find the answers for. Our current GL company basis our premium on our policy year payroll. However, one company that we are getting a quote from is basing the quote on the policy year gross income. Now, these two numbers are VASTLY different and I don't know why one is basing my premium on one item and another company on another item. Another question is Audit Rates. The audit rates between these two companies, (again based on different item dollar amounts,) differs also and I was wondering what a standard audit dollar amount would be, or maybe an average? If it makes a difference, my company does subcontract low voltage work. Thanks!""

Insurance Quotes With AAA ?

I requoted myself online with AAA, I've been with them for 9-10 years or so. And by filling out the same information with same coverages, I will save much more. Will AAA give me that new rate or am I stuck with my same rate. I hate calling customer service..""

Can I buy 1 month worth of car insurance?

So my car insurance coverage ends on January 4, 2014. Yes I know it is last minute but now I'm looking at extending or buying 1 month of insurance just so I have a month to shop around. I live in Alberta, is that possible with every insurance company to buy a short term 1 month coverage?""

Anyone know any companies that provide really cheap insurance for uk drivers?

Anyone know any companies that provide really cheap insurance for uk drivers?

How much would insurance go up for a newer used car?

I drive a 1988 Lincoln Mark VII. I wanted to know how much more my insurance would go up if I got a 1996 Buick Regal?

How do I know what value to put on my home insurance?

I have a flat in London that I want to insure. The flat is 64 metres squared and is 100 years old. The market value is about 200,000 to 210,000. A similar flat, in my town, in the North is valued at about 100 000 One would assume that the insurable value would be less for than the market value in London. My question is for what value should I insure the flat in London?""

How can i get insurance from the gov.?

Ok my dad is 37 and has no insurance and we can't afford any either so how can he get insurance from the gov. we kinda need it now cause he thinks he has cancer so please help

Mazda miata insurance?

okay so im 16 getting a miata, is the cost of insurance going to be high?""

Do you need auto insurance when your car is under Planned NON Operation ?

I have a old car that i am not going to use for the next 4 months till my wife comes back (she's out of country now). My Question is if i file for a planned non operation of the car with DMV, can i take this car out of my insurance. Currently i just have the liability on this old car. Is insurance mandatory even if your car is not driven / in public roads?. Please help.""

Can I get car insurance myself if the car is owned by my dad?

My dad bought me a car so it is legally his. Can I get car insurance or does he have to do it?

""Does anyone know how much a boat would cost me for a year, that's including gas, insurance, etc.?""

Does anyone know how much a boat would cost me for a year, that's including gas, insurance, etc.?""

Can i put my car under my dad's insurance even thou its registered to me?

My car is financed but the insurance rates are thou the roof! im paying over 475 a month for full coverage, can i have my dad add it to his policy as a second car and still have it registered under my name? Will the finance company find out? will this be possible?""

""Why is it that I am still able to be sued for an auto accident if I live in Florida, a no-fault state?""

I've been in 2 accidents. The first was very minor; I rolled into the bumper in the car in front of me at a stop light and scratched their bumper. No damage was sustained to my car, but I am at-fault. The second I was cutting through an intersection that was at a red light and was about to pull into the left-turn lane when the woman in the car that was coming down the lane wasn't looking forward and hit the driver side door of my car. I was already halfway in the lane trying to straighten out into the left-turn lane but I couldn't move when she was coming, because if I moved back I might have hit someone and if I went forward she would have hit me anyway. At the scene the policewoman told me I was at fault, but when I talked to my claims adjuster, she told me that there is some negligence on the other party's part because if I had just randomly pulled out into traffic, the other party would have hit the front of my car, not the driver-side door. I am being sued by the first person and I found out just now I am being sued by the person in the second accident as well. I was told that since I am registered under my parents insurance, the other party can see that they have a lot of assets they can sue for from my parents. My question is, why are they able to sue me so easily? I've done research, and I know Florida is a no-fault state, meaning drivers cannot sue each other unless serious injury occurred, such as loss of life, limb, permanent injury, etc. In both accidents, I did not get ticketed, and I believe no police report was written, only exchanges of information.(Police were called, however. I did not leave the scene) Also both of the other parties did not ask for an ambulance or medical assistance(I know about the feeling pain later thing) but I'm sure if someone was suing for something as serious that can be listed as loss of limb or death, they would have showed some indication of injury at the scene. Both people stepped out of their cars and were fine, however.""

Where can I find affordable health insurance for me and my self employed husband?

For just me and him we pay $927 a month! He has no medical conditions. I take 3 medications for depression and anxiety, but its been a lifelong thing, and I require not psychiatrist or anything , like that, just the meds from my family doctor to keep my chemicals level. Can we get assistance, or is there special help for the self employed? I'm 35 and he is 40.""

Should I pay someone to do the body work on my car or file a claim and watch my insurance rates go up?

So I bumped into an SUV the other day, and the other person's car was totally fine, so they decided not to file a claim. I drove off with a messed up hood though.. So now I don't know what to do... pay cash for the damages (roughly $2500 which i don't really have...) or file a claim and have the crash go on my record for 5 years and watch my premiums increase. I have asked my insurance company and they cannot give me an answer as to how much my insurance will go up so its a guessing game at this point... I have a good driving record and having never crashed before... Please Help!""

Is there any major medical insurance for pre-exsiting conditions???

I take care of my 50 year old mother, who is on COBRA, which went up to 700.00 monthly. We cannot afford this, but she needs medical insurance due to her pace maker. We've tried medi-cal, SSI, ect. Her ex-husband will not help her. He actually left her because she is sick, with the woman he was cheating on her with. Then he married her a year later. I am out of options and she needs help. Someone, anyone, everyone....please help. If she doesn't get medical care for her conditions and medicines for her heart, she eventually will die.""

Car insurance question about my 17 year old.?

I want to get a second car and let my 17 year old drive it. I am trying to find a car insurance company that will let me have every thing in my name and have her as the principal driver of my second car. The problem I am having is she is moving down the street. I can not find a car insurance company that will let me have what is called a different garage adress on the car I am wanting to let her use. I am in the state and I have tryed all most all the car insurances companys around here and online. I have even tryed to have things put in her name but it would cost her around 300$ dollars a month to insurance it. And that is just the basic insurance. That is why i want to just keep everything in my name Any idea's would help. And not I not going to lie and just have her drive it and move and not let the insurance company she is driving it.

If I buy a new car will my auto insurance run my driving record again?

My husband and I currently own a truck and have an exisiting comprehensive auto insurance policy in Texas. If we buy a new car (thereby removing the truck and adding the new car to our policy but not changing anything else) will the insurance company run his driving record again?

How much will my driving insurance be for 16 yrs old?

Drivers Age: 16 type of car: Toyota liability limits: uh... none, i think, once i crash the car goes.. comp & collision?: idk driving record: just got it today lol credit score: perfect =P zip code where car is kept: 43221 its a rav4 crappy car, i just need a ball park geuss... my parents r trying to make me think its a lot more than i no it is, just so i dont drive... and stuff, yea... thanks justin""

Car rental insurance? do i need it?

I will be paying with my credit card. I have insurance on my car, but only the basic liability nothing else. Should i buy the insurance the rental agency offers? what happens if i have an accident. Thanks for your response""

Reducing Car insurance?!?

Hi, I am just curious because I know someone who does this but situation is a little different. His parents are split up so he has a car at his mother's house (where he would HAVE to be registered as primary driver) but he lives at his father's house so he only pays occasional driver's insurance even though the car is always with him. (both the father and mother have licenses however are not insured under the car in question) I am just asking if it were possible for me to do that with my grandmother for example. If I get a car registered under her name, but since I don't live with her can I pay as an occasional driver? She does not have a license. If it helps I live in Ontario, Canada. Thank you""

Does california law require insurance on motorcycles?

I know the law requires proof in financial liability in the case of accident or injury, and always requires insurance for cars, does it require ins. for motorcycles?""

Use my insurance to pay for high repair costs?

My vehicle was vandalized and due to that I have Many scratches and dents to the sides of the car. My insurance estimate 2100$ worth of repairs in which I pay 300$. Initially the representative told me that my insurance would not go up monthly because I don't have a.bad history of claims n the incident was not my fault. But that was before they appraised the car so now they would have to give me 1800$ and im.not sure whether I should go through the insurance or not I don't want to affect my monthly payments. Any suggestions?

car insurance for subaru wrx

car insurance for subaru wrx

Whats the cheapest auto insurance companies for 18 year olds?

I'm driving a 2010 Scion TC without any wrecks or anything.

I live in pensacola fl and just bought a car how much will the tag and insurance cost?

i just want a estimate also the car is old

""Car insurance question, does adding someone to a policy for a car you own cost more? so 2 people for 1 car.?""

Okay, young and stupid here with car insurance I am moving to fla, from louisiana. I have a car,and my girlfriend does not have a car. At this point, she refuses to drive the car because of insurance issues if something happened. So, to the question! Will it cost me more money to add my girlfriend's name to my insurance policy, so she can drive the car if I do not need it? Basically, im just adding someones name to the policy for 1 car.""

Do insurance company has a right to insure people even though costumer does not finalized the paper work?

We had shopped around for home insurance, we made a quote and compared the best company, and we purchase the policy to one of them. After a year, we received a call from collection agency saying that we owe some money for one of the insurance company that we did not chose. And when I called that company, they said that if I can show them, if I am insured and covered that particular period, then they will remove that bills. I think this is ridiculous, why such a company like this have a right to insure me, bill me and send that bill to collector? Without even notifying me first.""

How can my elderly parents from NZ get car insurance for 6mnth UK visit?

My parents will be 74 & 75 when they come over in April 09. They want to buy a car and travel around for 6 months. Any suggestions for how to get them insurance appreciated

Will my insurance cost more this year?

hello people ... so i was wondering if anyone thinks my insurance will cost more this year. i have a motorbike honda cbr125. last year it cost me 450 to insure. looking at the insurance this year it says around 550-650 will mine be this much?

What are the effects of the options with car insurance?

comparing auto insurance and answering the questions(rent or own house, marriage status, etc.). Do those variables affect my premium rate?""

Pregnant w/o insurance.?

I am 6 weeks pregant and do not have insurance. I don't qualify for medicaid anymore because I make too much money, like 1000 over. The problem is that I can't work less or we can't pay our bills. Does anyone know how I can get insurance while I am pregnant??""

""Im wanting car insurance, what would be the best one for me?""

I am buying my first car, and getting a 1996 BMW 318i , im 18 years old, have a restricted licence, havnt had any driving convinctions or crashes and I live in NZ, Im just wanting to know what insurance would be best for me either Full or 3rd party etc, and how much that would roughly cost""

Did you agree over a decade ago when California made police asking for auto insurance illegal?

For a few years, police were not allowed to ask for auto insurance from motorists. Much of the argument in favor of that law was that it discriminated against poor Mexicans. It was overturned eventually as auto insurance violations/irresponsibility became epidemic. How does this relate to the current law in Arizona? How does it relate to the mandatory health insurance law?""

Motorcycle Insurance?

I screwed up and was charged with DUI a few months ago (I was driving a car). I figured my insurance would double or triple but no, the cheapest I could fine is close to 4,000 a year! I was floored & absolutely in shock. My question is, would motorcycle insurance be cheaper being I got a DUI. I live in Fl. Do I even need insurance for a motorcycle? Everyone is telling me a different story. I need help please! Thanks! -Alex""

""Car accident, how much for pain & suffering??""

My sister & I were in a car accident & it was all the other person's fault. She sprained her shoulder, I got whippedlash & SEVERAL muscle strains in back/shoulders/neck. We both hurt, but w/work & the work I do for my nursing class it hurts my back even worse & I'm not giving up on what I do. How much can I actually get for pain & suffering from the insurance company?? Or do I need to contact a lawyer & sue the guy or would the process take too long for me to get anything out of it??""

Unemployment Insurance California?

I have been recently laid off after working for a company for 13 years. I filed for unemployment, but was denied benefits because I am currently employed by another company. However, it is a commission only position (Loan Officer) and I am learning the trade and have not made any sales, hence I have not been paid. I feel I should be able to get unemployment benefits until I actually get paid. Do I have a case for an appeal?""

Which cars have cheap insurance?

I want to buy a new car but I don't want insurance that's gonna drain my pocket. Any suggestions on new cars that have cheap insurance?

""If i take drivers ed now, will my car insurance rate go down?""

I got my g2 a month ago without taking drivers ed, however I heard that insurance rates are cheaper if you've taken drivers ed, so my question is, if i go and take drivers ed now will my insurance rate go down? Or is it too late?""

I looked for insurance quotes at progressive.com.?

At the end, I received a quote from Progressive and also 3 other leading competitors. I also received a quote from Progressive Direct which is lower than Progressive quote. Does anyone of you have insurance from progressive direct? What makes it different (and hence lower) than the actual Progressive quote?""

How can I start an auto insurance business in California?

How can I start an auto insurance business in California?

How much will it cost me to register my motorcycle its a ninja 250 i live in florida ?

i am 17. please do not judge me on my age. also how much am i looking at for insurance ? who do you recommend ? allstate, progressive, geico, statefarm ? how about insurance providers that are big known companies? i dont know the word im looking for.""

Car insurance question?

My car was in an accident (not my fault, I wasn't in it and the time) when someone plowed into the back. All signs are indicating it's totaled. She and I have no-fault insurance. Here is my questions. 1. Do I talk to the police and insurance company? 2. Do I get any money/compensation from the accident? 3. Do I go after her insurance and Do I get anything from that? 4. Or do I reach a compromise with both parties? If anybody has anymore suggestion feel free. Thanks!!!""

""How do I get quotes on things such as insurance, utility cost, and building remodling?""

how do I get quotes on things such as insurance, utility cost, and building remodling when I'm writing a business plan? We finally have found a great location for a bar and grill we have wanted to open and a business plan requires a lot of estimating costs and I want to find the most accurate figures so that I can set myself up for success.""

I just got into a car accident and whats going to happen if i dont have insurance for that car?

Okay so on Monday, I was parked on one side of the street and because of street cleaning I uturned across the street into two other cars that were parked and some lady backed up trying to park in thee space that i was in. she did not look back i guess. It's clearly her fault but the thing is that that car does not have insurance. My other 3 cars are insured just that one is not because my brother gave it to me to sell. I am wondering what is going to happen because she reported to insurance. Wiill i get in trouble? ( I'm under 18) Do i get money from her insurance company? Will I have to pay for her damages even though it was 100% her fault? and what do i do now? Her insurance agent called me but i called back and cannot get a hold of her. Thanks for the help""

Has anyone ever heard of Titan auto insurance?

Has anyone ever heard of Titan auto insurance?

A car insurance question...?

So... I had a 1998 VW beetle that I traded in today for a 2003 VW beetle. I purchased this car in the state that I am currently in for college (MD). In order to purchase the car I had to get a MD tag. My old car is insured under Farm Bureau in NC. Can I transfer my old insurance to cover this car? I am not a Maryland resident, but NC resident. Any help/advise is greatly appreciated. My 98 beetle was in great shape, but the newer car had more additives like sunroof/less miles etc.... The difference was around $5000 that I am having to pay.. Because of the financing I had to get MD tag and such.. Thanks in advance for your help!""

Cheap car insurance for new drivers??

does anybody know where i can get the cheapest car insurance for a Peugeot 106 1.1 im 17 and should pass my test by November, thanks.""

Insurance costs for a 19 year old with a street bike in Nebraska.?

I am 19 years old and live in the state of Nebraska. I have never received any speeding tickets or traffic violations. I want to buy a Kawasaki ninja 650 or a Yamaha yzf-r 600 and I would like to know about how much insurance would be for that per month.

car insurance for subaru wrx

car insurance for subaru wrx

Insurance of a replica sports car ?

Would I have to pay high insurance on a replica of a sports car, when really the car is actually that the body kit will be going onto is only worth 600 ?""

NY registration insurance lapse 2 years ago?

I know I sound ridiculous. Over 2 years ago I moved, and left my car at a relatives with plates etc. Never turned them in. I don't believe I cancelled insurance either . I just moved back and would like to register and insure the car again. I checked my drivers license and it is valid with no suspensions or restrictions etc.. I went online to get a quote from the same insurance company and it seems like I could have signed up right now with a very reasonable quote. lucky or can I expect something else when I go to the DMV?""

Is the 2008 Mazda Rx-8 worth buying?

I got a deal for 19,000 dollars with 11,000 miles on it. I can afford it but im wondering if it is a reliable and good car for 5-6 years. How does it do in the winter? I live in VA. Gas? Reliable? Insurance? Used 2008 honda accord coupes are so expensive and camrys are expensive too.""

Health Insurance question?

Do any one know a insurance in California that cover pre-existing condition? I am eighteen year old with no insurance still living with my parent which have no health insurance. We had medical but it expired. I have heart problem the doctor said i need to get insurance that cover pre-existing condition. I have try getting quotes online. Or know any good insurance i should try giving a call to.

How much is insurance on a Oldsmobile Alero or a Toyota Echo???

I am currently looking for a new car, and I'm trying to find a car with a good safety rating, dependable and low insurance. Can anyone help me in my search?""

Live in different states then parent: Car insurance?

Do I have to live in the same state as my dad to have my car under his insurance? I live in NC and he lives in SC if that makes a difference. Thank you!!

What are three good life insurances in california?

i need specific details about these companies

Do you get cheaper insurance for older cars or new cars?

Do you get cheaper insurance for older cars or new cars?

Plz recommend good/affordable health insurance for 55+?

Looking for a good health insurance for my parents who are 55+. Is there such a thing as good and affordable??? Thanks!

Motorcycle insurance?

Hello. I live in ontario. I am currently interested in getting a motorcycle and undergoing my m1 then thereafter m2 licencing. I am interested in getting a sport type bike (600-750cc). Either being a YAMAHA or Kawasaki. I am 26 years old. Who would be the best to get the insurance from and what regulations are there towards the insurance for motorcycle drivers? THANKS!

How much would it cost to get a car?

Im 17 and have applied for my practical test but once i pass how much will it cost to get a car, insurance, tax and MOT. im not looking for a great car just a small car, a polo would be nice.""

""Someone totaled my car, they don't have insurance...what's going to happen?""

I was driving straight down a one way with three friends in my car when a truck full out ran a stop sign and crashed into the front driver's side (i was driving) of my car. I'm pretty sure my car is totaled now. Anyways, a few hours after the accident I started getting neck pains. They got worse over the next two days, and I ended up going to the doctor who sent me to the ER for a CT scan and I have slipped vertebrae in my neck. Now yesterday we found out that the guy's whose car it was (a friend of his was driving, he wasn't in the car) doesn't have insurance on it. So what does this mean for my medical bills? Will this make the amount I get for my car lower? Will my insurance company raise my rates if they pay? (I have full coverage on a '98 VW Jetta)""

Medicaid insurance with another insurance?

I was wondering what the qualifications are for Medicaid. Specifically, I have UBH insurance...since I have insurance already, would I still qualify for Medicaid? I am 19 years old and live on my own now.""

Cheapest way to get car insurance ?

I need to insure my car in order to be legal, but i do not want to pay a lot for insurance if the car isnt worth anything, its not worth much but its AWD and gets me where i need to go. Are there any companies that offer low payments for a piece of paper showing i have insurance that i can show a cop if i get pulled over so i wont owe 1500 bucks to the state?""

Homeowner insurance cost in Florida?

i know that homeowner insurance is high in Florida. but how high is it? What would someone pay for a 3bdr home in jacksonville? i am thinking of relocating to florida from Illinois. How bad do the hurricanes get in the Jacksonville area?

What's the average cost of health AND dental insurance per month for.....?

....a 44 year old man. I am a non-smoker, and in good shape. I have no medical conditions, now or ever.""

""I rear ended someone with no insurance, whats gona happen?""

i was on a motorcycle and rear ended someone in a car, the car has a lil dent on the bumper and their insurance already covered it. i do not have insurance and im going to court for it. what is going to happen? is my drivers license going to be suspended eventhough it was on a motorcycle? i have insurance for my car just not my motorcycle.""

Question about pitbull insurance in VA?

How much is insurance for a pitbull in Virginia?

What are the best car insurances in Dallas ?

I recently moved to Dallas and now need a new insurance.

I reasonly got layied off need my wife is haven a baby need to know about insurance?

i got layied off from my job im a union worker in nyc and i have to work a certin amout of hours to keep my heath insurance going . my term ends in june my baby is do in july there for i will not be covered when the baby is do . does any one know what i can do for covrage i have aetna ? is there anyway i can extend my insurance ?

I'm 17 just got my driving licence (UK) How can I get my insurance cheaper?

I'm 17 just got my driving licence (UK) How can I get my insurance cheaper?

What is the cheapest scooter insurance in California?

I have a 80 cc scooter. I ride for pleasure , not commuting far distance. Right now, I am renewing, but $200 for 1 yr. coverage is to high. I'm a college student, 20 yr. old. I didn't take the driver course. Any students out there who have scooter insurance? what you have?""

Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?

Average car insurance rates for people under 21 years old?

Are there different types of car insurance?

What are the different kinds?

How does health insurance work??? Payment?

I'm 18, jobless. My parents will stop paying for my insurance soon. How do I get a new plan and what will the cost be? NO MEDICAID. also what if you're pregnant""

car insurance for subaru wrx

car insurance for subaru wrx

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/health-insurance-quotes-okc-alfred-wright/"

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business insurance quote

"business insurance quote

business insurance quote

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

Health insurance......?

Im applying for the health connect in missouri and they asked me to call two different insurance company for quotes. My coworker said to call like prudential and allstate but i thought they only sale care,home,life insurance. do they sell health insurance too? i called but they dont work on saturdays so i just wanna know if they do or what other places i can call.""

Given an inaccurate insurance quote?

So, in the process of getting a new vehicle I took two VIN numbers to a man at the insurance agency I've used for the past three years. The two numbers were for an '08 and an '09 car (the '08 first just to get a reference). He tells me the approximate increase in my monthly bill will be around $47.50 (for the '09). I go ahead and buy the car, my monthly bill has gone up just right over $200 more. I have already bought the car, paid for the tax, title, licensing and registration... and there is no way I can pay that much more in insurance (college kid here), so I'm going to have to get rid of the car, pay insurance on it for a portion of a month, and pay all the necessary fees on another vehicle. I will easily have lost $1000 because of this guy's inability to do his job. Of course, I didn't get anything in writing (having gone there for three years and never having any other problems...). I really don't know what to do and I'm quite upset about it. Any suggestions?""

Lamborghini gallardo?

what is the fuel economy and the insurance and the repair will cost a Lamborghini gallardo per month

Liability Insurance for Kids?

What is the most important liability insurance for young people?

Why are some people so adamant that having ONLY private medical insurance is best?

What do you think? This is a quote from the following article: In addition, under the settlement, Health Net agreed to halt employee bonuses that were based in part on how many rescissions they performed. And here's the article, with other reputable links inside: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/138914.php Anthem Blue Cross Announces Settlements With California Insurance Department Over Rescinded Health Insurance Policies; Health Net Announces Settlement""

New York State car insurance question?

Do you need to have car insurance to have a drivers license? I mean could you take the road test and get your license but have no insurance?

What happens when a person dies with no life insurance?

80 year old male with no life insurance

Insurance while overseas?

I am wanting to travel overseas to join my wife but wondered if something happened to my family (in the future) and I need money fast to travel back is there some kind of insurance I could take out before I leave?

Can you get a life insurance policy with out a social security number?

Can you get a life insurance policy with out a social security number?

Any recommendations for affordable health insurance in Georgia?

I'm 22 years old, no children, and have one full time job. I need to get some blood tests like cholesterol, blood pressure, ectera done.""

Cost of Cancelling multiple 6-month car insurance policies in US?

I am 18 years old, male, clean driving record, good student, going to college. I will only be going home for occasional weekends, and vacations, and I would like to be insured so I can drive my car (saturn 2000 sl) around. I don't want to pay for the high cost of permanent car insurance, but want to be insured when I need it. I looked up ways to get temporary (short term) car insurance and I basically found that if you are under 21, you cannot pay daily or weekly. I also found that US insurance companies generally offer policies that are at least 6 months. Since I want tthen you can only get 6month or 1 year policies. They suggest getting the 6 month policy and paying monthly, and then simply canceling the policy once I am done with it. Therefore if I did this, I would be buying and canceling many policies every year. I would maybe do this a few weekends every semester and also winter, spring, and summer break. So basically I want to save money by foregoing yearly car insurance, but instead would like to do what I stated above. The big question is: IS IT WORTH IT? Ordering, and then cancelling up to six to eight 6-month policies, each paying for the first monthly payment. Note: I currently have MetLife. Thanks!!""

What to do with a conditional discharge and a car insurance?

My friend had a court on 25/08/2012, where he has been conditionally discharged for 12 months. His car insurance was due to be renewed on 28/08/2012. He was buying the car insurance ...show more""

How to get affordable HIV Medication with not so good insurance coverage.?

Diagnosed about a month ago HIV+ with a VL 111,000 CD4 167, so yeah I've had it for a while. I'm supposed to start treatment ASAP! but I can't afford them, I've talked and negotiated with my doctor to change my prescription she did but it didn't help. The problem is I have insurance and it doesn't have good prescription coverage. I'm in a position that I may have to drop my insurance just to be able to afford my medication. My doctor and case worker is advising me not to do this, I don't have any other choice... someone HELLP my time is limited""

How much is insurance on 2003 lexus IS300?

wondering how much i might be paying a month if im getting a more expensive car..?

Periodontal Insurance in Iowa?

I have major gum resession and I need a transplant, which means I need to visit a peridontist. Problem is, I can't find one in Iowa that takes my insurance. (Hawk-i) I really need the surgery and I've been searching for months and haven't had any luck. Please, someone help me out, please.""

Best places to buy gap insurance and extended warranty for new cars?

either online or in the real world, where is the best place to purchase gap insurance and extended warranty on a new car? i would like to get rate quotes from different places and choose from the best ones. i hear the ones the dealerships offer are too expensive and give them a chance to adujst the overall price of the car in their favor?""

What happens after you buy car insurance online?

Just curious as I'm planning on buying a years insurance for the first time in my life (I'm 17) from the post office website. Either that or could I pay at my local post office branch? I'm so close to getting my own car and then insuring it seems so simple that every time I think of it I start to physically shake!!! Thanks!

Insurance company offering me a check to settle? What should I do?

I was in a car accident, where the other driver was 100% at fault. We both have the same insurance. They reimbursed me fully for my car, reimbursed my employer for health expenses (I assume) and I didn't get hurt too bad min the accident besides some whiplash and scrapes on my hand. Today, I get a call and an offer of a $250 check for the inconvenience of being in an accident. It sounds kinda fishy, I thought this case was closed long ago, so I told her to send the offer, in writing, describing the details of this inconvenience check. What exactly is going on here and why would they feel the need to randomly cut me a check? Something doesn't add up.""

Does any insurance co. in the state of Georgia suppose to give you car insurance if the title isn't in yo name?

Does any insurance co. in the state of Georgia suppose to give you car insurance if the title isn't in yo name?

Neighbors tree fell on my house and 3 of my cars whos insurance has 2 pay?

during a bad storm my neigbors tree fell over and landed on 3 of my cars and my house i was wonderin whos insurance has 2 pay? mine or the neighbors?

Is Texas a no-fault insurance state?

My G-Friend recently met with a car accident and we are still waiting for the accident report to determine the fault. She was not hurt but the other driver was hospitalized. Your opinions and suggestions welcome about how to handle this with Insurance company and attorney if required.

Who understands health insurances? please help?

Okay so im 22 and have no health insurance, i just started working, and at this company they offer health insurance for full time positions only and well i am part time. I have had swollen tonsils since i was fourteen and been hospitalized twice because it was so bad that literally both tonsils were smashed together (i know gross) well i guess the question is, i want to try to get a health insurance that will minimize extremely the cost of getting these suckers removed. I dont understand all the deductible talk. So which insurance do you think is affordable and might be the one for me and my need? Please any advice and suggestions will be appreciated. Its a constant pain to go to the doctors and just come out with antibiotics which i guess take the pain but im not lying when i say that they are everyday permanently swollen. Please and Thank you.""

What happens when a person dies with no life insurance?

80 year old male with no life insurance

Car insurance? Who is covered? Who is responsible?

Okay I had a question about car insurance... I am on my grandfather's car insurance plan- I live with my boyfriend. I believe I am the only one insured to drive the car....My boyfriend's mother and step-father don't have a car right now and often times ask to borrow my car- I've been letting them until it was brought to my attention that they may not be covered in that car? Does this mean I would be responsible for anything that happened? Or would they? If another car was at fault for the accident what would happen? Anyone know how this works?

""Trying to buy Car insurance on my own, but i don't know how much to buy?""

I'm getting an online quote and i'm buying a car for 2500. the page displays a bunch of coverage that would be paid in the even that it was my fault, but i don't know anything about deductables. Would anyone be able to tell me how much money for each coverage is good. and if i should get a deductable. thanks so much""

business insurance quote

business insurance quote

What is the difference between 'underwrite' and 'insure' ?

are they the same?

Low Cost Health Insurance?

I am contemplating quitting my job and going full time to school so that I can have a fresh start with a new career. It would be fine if it was just me, but I have 2 kids and I am single. With school I would work about 40 hours/week doing clinicals at the hospital plus my school work, so I wouldn't be able to work as well. I know I could get state assistance with medical but I did that before and it was the absolute worst healthcare I've ever experienced. They treated us like we were scum. I want my kids to be well taken care of for the few semesters that I would be out of work. I will be getting all of the student loans that I can to pay for basic expenses and hopefully some sort of sliding scale healthcare...Any ideas?""

Car insurance coverage - with temporary car drivers?

sir, i bought a car for my brother in india,on his name...he doesnt have any drivers license..so always had to rely on call drivers or temporary drivers for driving the car. in that case,if any acccident happens,will the claim still be honored even it is not driven by the owner..as long as the driver as the driver has a valid driver license. i came across a situation with my friend..where in the call driver ran away from the scene after the accident..can we still make the claim even in this case? i see in my car insurance it has owner-driver coverage...what is that.. is there any add on that i need to add to my insurance so that it covers even if driven by any temporary or call drivers..""

How much does insurance cost when buying my first car?

Hi, im planning on buying a used car, hoping to get a Mitsubishi Eclipse and i was wondering how much will it got to get insurance? I have about $2000 saved up and need about $3,500-$4,000 to buy a 2000-2004 Eclipse. My parents already have 2 cars and i want a car. So how much will i have to pay for insurance? Also on a car fax report is it better to have more or less auto repair history?""

Can my insurance drop me?

Hi, i took a urine test with my doctor the other day. I asked what h was testing for and he said everything , so Im not sure what hes testing. He said he was gonna check for diabetes and what not. I was wondering, in the case he drug tests me can he tel my insurance? Can I get dropped from the insurance for this? I smoked weed about 5 weeks ago. I live in California amd hnet is my insurance. Thanks!""

Car Insurance for Young Driver (UK)?

Hi, I'll get straight to the point, I'm 17 almost 18 and am looking 2 buy my 1st car. I live a upper class life, and when it comes down to cars i do get to travel in in style. e.g. my dad drives a Jaguar S-Type, my mother a brand new 2008 Land Rover Freeland, and i do know people with Bentley's and this one guy i know will take me out for a drive in his Aston Martin Vanquish. I do like to stick out from a crowd and this is a amazing opportunity to do so at college. My 1st car is definitely goin on my dads policy, and by then i will have my full license. I have seen Jaguar XJ's for sale which i can afford, but my greatest question is how much would the insurance be. If someone who is a young driver who drives a Jaguar or something similer could give me a rough guess to how much insurance wud be?, i wud be greatfull or someone who has insured a young driver on there Jaguar?.""

Can i borrow from my life insurance policy?

Can i borrow from my life insurance policy?

How much will car insurance cost me?

I'm an 18 year old male. My GPA in high school was 3.4. No criminal record. I'm going to be driving my mom's Honda Accord 2005. She only got into 2-3 accidents ever. She has Farmers Insurance. They never respond when my parents ask them how much insurance would cost me so I figured I should ask someone here for an estimate.

Question about unemployment Insurance In california?

I have to send my form on the 12 of december. If i dont send it by that time.say about a week later will it be a problem? when is the latest i can send it through the mail? anyone know?

Cheap car insurance for young drivers?

I'm turning 17 in a few weeks and plan to start taking driving lessons. My parents are looking into cars for me, they are only prepared to pay 1000 for my first car, but it's the insurance that is so expensive. There are a few cars that I have seen that I like, but any quote I try and get for them is at least 2,500! Are there any companies that do cheaper car insurance for young drivers or any ways that I could make the insurance cheaper? Also, i've heard that getting the insurance in one of my parents names then only being a named driver on the policy is cheaper, but when I have looked it doesn't seem to make much difference? Thank you!""

How to get the best quotes in car insurance?

i am looking for the best US quotes in car insurance. Some free service that provides some tips and tricks to get good deals on car insurance.

Would insurance on a 79 Buick Skyhawk be expensive?

My husband and I found one extremely cheap, and I desperately need a car. Our worry is the monthly insurance rate. Would the age make it cheaper, or is it so old that it would begin to go back up?""

Is there a place I can get affordable life insurance?

Is there a place I can get affordable life insurance?

What is the cheapest online car insurance where no deposit is paid? Morethan is no good. (UK)?

What is the cheapest online car insurance where no deposit is paid? Morethan is no good. (UK)?

What is the best Health Insurance?

I am in need of health care insurance. What is the best? I will be paying out of my pocket on my own. I would like so meting with low deductible and low prescrioton cost. My job currently pays for BCBS, however, now going independent, I will need something like this. Im not too big of a fan of them.""

How much would auto insurance cost?

I am going to be driving soon (I am 15) and I'm looking into buying a car/truck. I would like to know how much it would cost for me to get insurance so that i can drive soon. Thank you!

""Car accident, how to get money from insurance company?""

one guy rear ended me on september 25th, but his insurance company still have not claimed yet. they said we have not contacted our insurer, so we can not claim this liability i call he and his insurance company to check what's going on, but they never pick up the their phone. what do i need to, shoul i call them to court (my car's mufflier and bumper broken, about $ 800 to fix it?""

Questions about serial numbers and home insurance?

In an event of property loss or robbery and you have to report to the homeowner's insurance, should you give them the serial #'s of all items lost or stolen or should you give them the list of serial numbers the moment you start insurance?""

How can a teen get lowered insurance rates on a sports car?

How can a teen get lowered insurance rates on a sports car?

""What is the best insurance company that will give me a good rate, and good coverage for a 16 yr old teen?

Good driving record with no incidents and and good grades with excellent attendance. Doesn't matter if it's an online insurance company.

Penalty for driving without car insurance?

What would happen if i were to get caught driving without insurance in california? I'm 17 years old. and a month. Just got my license a few days ago. My car is registered. And i of course have a clean driving record and half never been pulled over. The tags don't expire until august 2009

Work Insurance for Teen?

My daughter will be voluteering at a Veteriray's surgery/office in the Summer holidays. She was told she'll need work insurance. We live in Ireland but do not have family insurance. Where can I get her this insurance for the time that she will be working/volunteering at the Vet's surgery/office/farm? I'd very much appreciate any leads please. Thank you.

Car Insurance?

In Massachusetts what do you think a 16 year old driver would pay for these cars for insurance? 1998 Mitsubishi 3000GT VR 4 >100k miles 1998 Audi A4 1.8 Turbo 4 cyl 100K miles 2001 Ford Taurus SEL v6 40K miles 1999 VW Passat V6 5 speed 95k miles Thanks

Health insurance pricing and BMI?

A person's weight and height are found on a driver's license. From these numbers, you can calculate a person's BMI. Do health insurance companies have access to the information found on a driver's license and do they use this information for determining health insurance quotes?""

How much would insurance be?

In the next couple months I'll be in the market for a 2006-2008 7series BMW. I'm 17 and this would be my second car. Approximately how much would I be paying a month for the insurance? Thanks in advance.

business insurance quote

business insurance quote

Can someone else insure my car and put me as a driver?

I got a car out the dealer with my stepdads help (co signer) now I'm only 19 & I have a good job I can do my payments with no problem, the only problem is insurance is really a pain because since I'm young & I only have about 3 months with my listener my insurance costs so much a month. I was wondering if my stepdad can just open a new insurance & put me as one of the drivers. Would it be a difference on the paymets ? I'm trying to get the cheapest I can & I need help :/ & the car us under both of our names. Thank you!""

Car insurance? first car?

i have a '96 fiesta 1.1.its my first car. i cannot get insurance cheaper than 2000. it is garaged, minimal miles per year. any one know where i can get cheap insurance??""

Is a Honda Civic expensive to insure?

I'm looking into buying myself my first car. Hoping for a newer used. I've been asking some of my friends about what car I should get, and many have said the Honda Civic. However none of them own this car themselves (many said if they could go back & change this they would.) But what I'm wondering is it expensive to get insurance for?? I've heard yes & no, so I'm just confused!! Thank you!""

""How much does car insurance cost for 23 years old male, first driver/car?""

I am 23 years old and just got my driving license few weeks ago. I am planning to get volkswagen golf match 1.4, but don't know if i will get cheap car insurance for it.. If you know anything please help..does anyone know the exact monthly/yearly cost of the insurance? if it will be too expensive what will be a cheapest one...i don't mind vauxhall corsa but i prefer golf ,and reason is straight forward, we all know :) help would be much appreciated.""

My mother needs a LOT of dental work! Whats the best insurance to inquire about?

She needs teeth pulled (many of them will need to be surgically removed) and dentures...what would be a good insurance that would cover a good portion of the cost? We live in Florida...

""Car insurance calculator, I can't find good informations online?""

I want to check different car insurance companies, calculate quotes and chose the cheaper one for me""

Are the Smart Fortwo car's insurance cheaper?

it got good crash ratings and a cheap car.

Getting married early for health insurance?

I'm wondering if there are any risks to getting married early in order to qualify for future spouses health insurance? For example, what are the tax implications to getting married? Were already engaged and were planning to marry later next year, but now that Im between jobs it would be much more affordable to access spousal health insurance rather than COBRA.""

Cars that are cheap to insure?

My parents have agreed to get me a car for my birthday, i need to find a car that is cheap to buy but isnt too expensive to insure, i will be 17 and will be learning how to drive.""

How much would my tickets be?

I was driving 60 in a 45 and didn't have a copy of my insurance in the car (it was expired). I do have legal insurance but it's at home. So I got two pieces of paper. One for insurance and one for speeding. What can the costs be? I'm 19 and this is the first time I have gotten a ticket/citation (And I get two together, how lucky?). All I need to know is that how much are they worth?""

Insurance on a scion?

how much is the insurance on a scion? if im a teen and i took drivers ed with safe way.

How much do you pay for Auto Insurance A Month?

what do you pay a month on your auto insurance. and do you think it's to much or do you save money?

California life and health insurance exam?!?

I took it once but only got 60% and it was super difficult with only studying the pre licensing course. Can anyone give me some other materials or advice for getting a passing score. Please and thank you. And please no bulls**t answers-___-

Are classic American cars cheap to insure?

I am a resident of the UK and was thinking about purchasing a classic American car.

My health insurance ends when I turn 19?

So does that mean I can chose any location and place for regular checkups? I know I will pay the cost fees. But in general, is it all the same cost or??? I'm so confused.""

Need help selecting my individual medical/health insurance?

Now let me start by saying that I am a single man at the age of 18. I am starting therapy soon and I need individual medical insurance to pay for the sessions and any possible prescriptions that might be prescribed. But when I try and search online I just don't understand all the info provided. Where can I find affordable insurance (im hoping about $50-$80 a month) that covers me for everything therapy and prescriptions, quick to get, and are easily understandable(if there is). If there are no simple stated insurance company's can someone tell me what I must make sure to have on the plan and what they mean?""

""Do i need car insurance 2 do my drivers test even thought is not my car, is my brother car? (califronia)?

i want to take my drivers test using my brothers car. the car has insurance. i just want to know do i show his car insurance or do i need 2 get insurance on my name to use his car and take the drivers test.thanks

If a 20 year old doesn't have insurance on his car and get's into a car accident is the state of Illinois.?

If a 20 year old doesn't have insurance on his car and get's into a car accident is the state of Illinois, what legally happens? I got into a car wreck in my uninsured vehicle, now I went out and got insurance, and have a court date set up. What legally should happen here? Loss of license? Obviously a fine.. Just give me the facts on this one.""

What homeowners insurance do you use/recommend?

I am looking for homeowners insurance for a home in California. We have 2 dogs, one which is a German Shepherd. What insurance carrier works well with dog owners?""

Multi-home homeowners insurance?

My wife and I are buying a home, she currently has a home that she is going to keep and let her parents live in. We have a dilemma when it comes to homeowners insurance because you can only have one primary residence. The insurance agent is telling us we need to have a landlord policy on her home even though her parents don't pay her. The landlord policy is much more expensive. We can't do a vacation policy because it isn't technically a vacation home. Any ideas on how to resolve this issue? This is in CT if it makes a difference. Thanks!""

Does any1 know were i cud get cheap car insurance?

i live in northern ireland and am 18 years old thanks

Car insurance 17 year old?

I just passed my test afew days ago and have been looking at insurance. Most insurers won't give me a quote and if they do it's 19k. But i was looking into classic car insurance for a mini and got a quote from adrianflux for 3500 but i was i told i was to young for classic car insurance. I tryed a 1000cc yaris and they would not even quote me. I checked my details twice and there all right. I asked over the phone why there is such a change im price when they have the same size engine and he just said there cheaper to repair n that . and just so it's clear the minii quote was not classic car insurance. So any one know the logic behind this? + any other suggestions about insurance will help.

How much roughly will my car insurance go up if I make a claim to have it resprayed due to vandalism?

How much roughly will my car insurance go up if I make a claim to have it resprayed due to vandalism?

Is there a price auto-insurance difference between a 2 door and 4 door Honda Civic?

Here is my situation which could possibly affect the the insurance pricing. I just turned 16 and my dad and I are looking at a 2008 Honda Civic EX-L Coupe and Honda Civic EX/LX (not sure model) Sedan. He is worried the insurance will cost more for the 2 door coupe? Will this make a difference in insurance cost? My logic is that a Honda Civic 2 door is not exactly that much of a sporty vehicle and is still a very reliable car so I need a good answer. Thanks

Cheapest car insurance for young drivers from other country!?

Hello, i would like to find the cheapest insurance for car, its doesn't meter what problems cover isnurance, just cheapest way. I and girlfriend buy citroen saxo 2001 year, She is 22yr, and im 20yr old, i have 4 years old driving licence, she have 5 years. We come to UK before 2 years. She is Driver1 im, Driver 2!!! Mybe i can register car trought internet in other country and get cheapes insurance? Thanks!!!""

business insurance quote

business insurance quote

What is the most economic way to insure a second car?

I already have fully comprehensive insurance for both myself and my spouse on our first car but now are looking to buy a second car. I also have 9 years no claims bonus.

Mexican auto insurance for Americans?

Anyone have any idea what is the best Company out there which gives the cheapest auto insurance rate for Americans in Mexico. Also if their service is good or bad compared to the other insurance companys when claims are made ?.

How do I find cheap and decent health insurance in Vermont?

I'm looking for health insurance that will be affordable (read under $100 a month) and have fairly decent coverage. Also I would very much like coverage that will start very soon after applying, the sooner the better. Any one have any suggestions?""

Is car insurance cheaper when changing from 20 to 21 in age?

Is car insurance cheaper when changing from 20 to 21 in age?

Does anyone have any idea which insurance company is the cheapest for learner drivers?

Does anyone have any idea which insurance company is the cheapest for learner drivers?

What insurance provider has the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

What insurance provider has the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

How much does a Triple AAA insurance agent make on average?

How does Triple AAA pay their agents? Their agents don't sell Life Insurance right? What all do they sell? How does this job compare to...say a State Farm agent?

How is 18yr old meant to get car insurance?

I live in London and passed my test in February. I own Renault Clio 1.2 And the cheapest quote i got so far is 305 pounds per month, which is way too much for me. What companies are cheap? What can i do to start driving legally, searching for insurance is frustrating Dont say price comparison websites they suck cheapest quote there was 8k per year""

Vw lupo gti insurance!!?

hi there, im nearly 17 in a few days and i want to buy a VW Lupo GTI for my first car but im not sure how much the insurance will cost because it is a GTI. does anyone have any ideas how much it will cost????? thanks :)""

Would your car insurance go up if you bump into someone else?

I was pulling off at a junction and I was looking to the right to see wether there is a car coming but the car infront (baring in mind he started pulling off) he suddenly pushed the ...show more

Where can i find cheap car insurance for over 25's first time buyers?

Where can i find cheap car insurance for over 25's first time buyers?

Enquiry about car insurance and how it works?

Okay, the question is worded wierdly, but you'll get it :P. Anyway, I have my driving test coming up in April, so I have to be thinking about a car, insurance etc. I was wondering if there was an average of how much car insurance is for the first month after you pass, and how long it stays like this till it starts too go down. Also, is there anyway I can reduce it? I plan on making parents named drivers etc, will this help reduce?""

Car insurance - What's the car worth?

In the past when ever i've been asked by insurance companies what my car is worth i've always told them the amount that i think i could realisticly sell it for (what its worth? or so i thought) If i was to sell my car i would be able to get around 1200-1300, which is what i would say 'it's worth', HOWEVER, recently after putting my reg number into a price comparison website it automatically came up with a value of just 700. (My car has low milege, fsh and is in v good condition so is worth more than average) So my question is, if i tell them it's worth say 1250, take out their policy and then i write it off, what will they pay? The amount i told them or 'their' valuation. Also, am i paying a higher premium than i should because i'm telling them it's true value instead of their lower valuation? and if so, how many other people are doing this?""

How much do you pay for basic liability auto insurance?

I'm only interested in liability insurance. Please list your state and monthly payment.

Need life insurance for 89 year old grandmother?

Does anyone know of any life insurance companies that I can get a life insurance policy on my 89 year old grandmother? She is currently in nursing home with dementia and in very poor health. My mother and I who are both disabled and on disability and food stamps and are currently living in her house...which is run down and we are living in squalor is not worth anything...my laptop I am writing this on is worth more than this house, but it has a tax lien and when she dies they will take it. So we need a life insurance policy on her of about $50,000 so we could buy a mobile home and a new car, which we don't have a car and to help us pay bills. We are getting her pension check of $218 a month so we could use that as monthly payment for the life insurance, but can put in some of our money if we have to but has to be under $300 a month. Any information would be greatly appreciated as I have not been able to find an insurance provider that will take anyone over 80 or 85.""

""Based on my age, how much do think insurance will cost for a range rover sport?

i'm turning 17 in a few months and thinking of getting one for my birthday? a rough estimation would be nice

Good insurance companies for young drivers?

Good insurance companies for young drivers?

If i was to buy a car 300 miles away from where i live what would i do about insurance and driving back?

Hi Question pretty much says it all, , I cancelled my insurance few months ago when i sold my car, so it wouldnt be a matter of ringing them up and transferring over. I dont know how it works could i just drive it back and say i have just bought it if for whatever reason if i get pulled??""

Why are republicans fighting the health insurance mandate and not fighting the car insurance mandate?

If you have to buy car insurance and get penalized for driving without car insurance, whats the difference here? Its as much a privilege to drive as it is to receive healthcare. However no one thinks its an over reach of government to mandate car insurance. When you get in a car accident with an uninsured driver you have to pay for your own damage, so how different is it then when americans use the public healthcare system, the government has to use TAX DOLLARS to pay for their health care. Also why is it being categorized as a Government Takeover of Healthcare ? If I buy health insurance wouldnt it be more like a Privatization of Healthcare seeing that instead of having vast amounts of tax dollars going into the system, the health system would now be funded by the insurance companies by paying out claims.""

CAR INSURANCE FOR A 16 YEAR OLD?

would it be more expensive for car insurance for a brand new car or a used car.

Am I already covered under my parents car insurance?

I just bought a car and my parents said they would take care of the insurance so they put my car under there names when I explained I needed to be under it my mom said its too expensive and it fine as long as u have insurance she's wrong right?

""I want to start trying for another baby by August, but I don't have medical insurance....?

My husband makes too much for me to get on Medicaid. I want to get a good insurance. I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions on what to do.

How much is Auto Insurance in Italy?

Hi, im going to be moving to italy with my wife and child to stay there for four years so i will be purchasing a vehicle to get around with, im planning on a car but i want to find out a little more of how much it can cost for insurance on autos over there, both for cars and motorcycles, if its cheaper for motorcycle i will probably just get one car for my wife and get a motorcycle for myself. Any information will be helpful and thanks ahead of time""

Should I insure brand new car?

hey guys I wanna ask u what's the difference between warranty and insurance ? should i insure car if it's brand new ? it would cost me a lot if I insure and warranty car :( so could u tell me great way to get rid of it ? waiting ur answers :)

What happens if you got into a accident and have no insurance?

I was driving my girlfriends truck and got into an accident.. I didnt know she has no inaurance. The officer made an accident report then let us go. What happens next does she eventually get a ticket oe me. and is it criminal offense she ia crying cause she feels so bad. Does she lose her license or me cause i was driving? And who will get sued? Please answer all questions. If i had known she didnt pay her insurance i would have paid it for her.she is mainly worried she will go to jail

business insurance quote

business insurance quote

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/cigna-private-insurance-quote-isaac-oneill/"

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Greenville South Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 29605

"Greenville South Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 29605

Greenville South Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 29605

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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""Hi, I'm 20 and 6 weeks pregnant. Insurance problems?""

Medi-cal won't let me file an app b/c I'm not 21, And my mother doesn't qualify for me. I make 900 a month with car payments ins. Anyway I don't have money to buy insurance. Planned Parenthood told me my edd, and gave me the positive test. I haven't seen a doctor, and I don't know what to do? I live in CA are there any suggestions?""

How can we insure our car?

My feoncee and i bought a Car he lives in the state of WA and i live in OR about 30 minutes away. We bought the car here in Oregon. he bought it so he can teach me to drive i have my Learners permit and he is a WA licenced driver. he is going to be moving to OR after we get married so he doesnt want to change the Plates and such to WA. We need to insure the car before either of us can drive it. so the question is how can we go about this. He again is a Washington licenced Driver and i am in OR with a lerners permit the car is here in oregon and we need to put insurance on it

State Disability Insurance in California?

I was laid off in December (company went under) and in March I got pregnant. I have not found a permanent job and at this point am not going to try - who's going to hire a pregnant woman, right? I am receiving unemployment which will be running out in a few weeks and I'm thinking about working for a temp agency until the baby is born to bring in some money. Does anyone know if I am working temp can I collect State Disability Insurance once the doctor tells me no more working? I'm really pissed...worked all those years and now I may not be able to collect through no fault of my own. Any help is appreciated. I think if I'm not working at all I can't collect but not sure. Thanks.""

Estimate for car insurance?

I know there are SO many factors considered. I am considering purchasing my first car (I would get it new, have loved Mazda 3 forever) and curious as to what I would pay a month in insurance or what average is. Bit of details, I live in Ontario, Canada, I will be 23 this year, female, I have a clean driving record (granted I've only had my G2 for a year and a half), my credit history is very good if that matters, I took driver's ed. I have no idea about what is considered average. Thanks!""

Where can I find the best family health insurance coverage for the right price?

I am working for a small landscaping company that does not offer insurance. I am married with two kids, both under 2 yrs of age, and my wife has a pre-existing condition of asthma. Can someone help me find a good insurance coverage for a reasonable price and also accepts pre-existing conditions? Any idea on an average cost?""

Would a Peugeot 406 1.9 Diesel 75BHp cost alot on insurance 4 a 17 year old lad? plz?

i want a pug 406, badly!!""

Why do people get life insurance?

Why do people get life insurance?

Can I add a person to my insurance if i dont own the car?

Okay, my live in boyfriend just got a car and is leasing it through an auto dealer, and making payments. The car is in his name. I would like to know if he can be added to my insurance policy? Does the car have to be in my name to be on my insurance policy?""

I just got pulled over for not having my seat buckle on and I'm wondering how much my insurance will go up?

This is the first time I've EVER been pulled over and I've had my license for a little over a year now. I get good grades and all that stuff so my insurance is pretty low for the average person right now. I'm wondering how much my insurance will go up? SOMEONE HELP! Kinda freaking out here. :p

How much would insurance cost for a 16 year old to own a 2002 BMW 330i?

I'm 16 and was wondering how much (about) it would cost for me to insure my 2002 BMW 330i. Doesn't have to be exact because I know there are plenty of factors.. Just ABOUT how much. Additionally, I dont want any answers like oh you'll just crash it. Give me a legit answer.""

I thought health insurance cost was going down?

This article says they are all going up. What happened to Obama caree? http://www.ctnow.com/health/hc-health-insurance-rate-hike-0914-20100914,0,5611833.story He promised me my family would save $2500 on health insurance. What happened?""

Is there a classic car insurance company that doesnt require you to be a certain age?

without 5 year license restriction also. i need to find one that will cover an 18 year old with a clean record.

""Buying a car, do I need my own insurance to have the title signed over to me?""

My youth pastor is selling me his 2004 Dodge Stratus, and we're planning on going to the DMV tomorrow morning to have the title signed over. Currently, my mom pays for my car insurance every month, and the car I've been driving is in her name. If I want to put the new car in my name, can my mom still pay for my insurance or do I have to be able to pay for it in order to have the title signed over to me?""

How much life insurance should we get?

My husband and I both work; our income split is about 60/40, he being the higher paid. We will both turn 50 within the next year. No children living at home. No substantial debt: Car loan: $185 monthly Student loan: $102 monthly Mortgage: $2,000 monthly No other debt. We never carry a credit card balance. We have about 3 months worth of savings in the bank. Should I base our life insurance on how much we make, how much we have in debt or both? We are living paycheck to paycheck, and if either one of us were to die suddenly, the other would only have a few months to sell the house before we could no longer make the payments. In this market, I don't think that's realistic. I was thinking that we would need enough to pay for a funeral, pay off the smaller two loans, and still have enough to live on for at least a year if the house doesn't sell. Does that sound right? Or should we not worry about paying off the loans...just calculate enough to replace the other's income for XX many months? If so, how many months should we plan for? Finally, at what rate is life insurance taxed? Is it added to your income and then taxed at the rate for your total income for the year? or is there a flat rate tax? (I think I know the answer to this one, but I want to make sure).""

Classic mustang AAA insurance?

How much does it cost (annually or monthly) to insure a classic mustang (1964-1972) with AAA?

Quick insurance quote for a 2006 range rover sport hse?

i am 16 and found a 2006 range rover hse sport for only 10 grand. the car is immaculate and freaking loaded to the top with upgrades. i know you are all thinking WTH? but the car is not salvaged and runs perfectly. i can afford the payments for the loan i am getting, but what insurance company would charge the least amount of money with decent coverage, cause liability aint covering the rover. thanks for all ure help, P.S. how much would registration be?""

Need cheap insurance 18 year old in UK?

hello can anyone tell me where i can get cheap car insurance for my son who is 18 years old. its been 1 year since hes passed. i have 6 years no claim bounes. the best quote i have got so far is 2700 on a corsa 1.2. is it possbile to get any driver car insurance?

Does anyone know where a couple in their early 60's might find affordable insurance.?

We had really great insurance but, it went up from a little less than $600.00 to over $1000.00. We cannot afford that.""

""Oh, crap...How much will this little incident raise my car insurance?""

Not too long ago, my friend skidded on a turn & took out the left-tailight area of my car. The light bulb was still working so my parents said I could go ahead & drive to school the next day; things were fine for days. But last night after the movies we were headed to one friend's house. But before we went there, she had to pick up her brother & his friends at some playground they were hanging out at. Her 5-person car was filled & so her brother & one friend needed to ride with me. I don't have my 6-months up (for being able to drive others beside family; I know, bad) but since the hangout was so close to her house, I said go ahead, jump in & we'll go home. So we head up a hill from that spot & at the very first turn, I see those nasty red & blue lights & pulled over. The cop said he pulled me over for having a tailight out (not true by the way--the whole bulb thing) & then he charged me with a nasty ticket, $532 of it for not having my insurance card with me. Which after the whole...""

Just hit a deer while ago (Questions about insurance)?

While ago a deer ran out in front of me and caused a bit of damage to my 2002 Toyota Camry. Although the damage doesn't appear to be [i]too[/i] bad, (hood and bumper are bent, and the right headlight is a bit out of place though it still works fine, car drives fine) I didn't have my cell phone so I had to drive back home (not very far) from where the incident happen. 1. Will the insurance still pay because I left the scene? (I wasn't speeding, had my headlights on, and our seatbelts) 2. Will my insurance rates go up? (The damage [b][i]can't[/i][/b] be over $2000, so I can just pay that huge bill once, but that higher insurance will haunt me forever) 3. Will this go on my driving record? (The car is still very drivable and neither me nor my passenger were injured in any way). (I did not get a police report, at least not yet)""

What would the insurance be on a 2004 Saturn Vue?

My parents are being extremely kind and letting me get my license. Along with the license, they are offering to pay half of the price for a car for my and my brother. We are extremely tight on money, but they are being incredibly generous, so I thought it would be good to get an older, but safe, fuel-efficient car. I thought a Saturn Vue would be perfect. I'm 16 and my brother is 18. We are all going to be on the same insurance plan, and we are both (in my opinion) very good drivers. Does anyone know how much the insurance would be on a 2004 Saturn Vue? If it's too much, we would go with either a Ford Focus or a Honda Civic (we wanted a bigger car because we have both been rear-ended in our car driving home from high school. Both cars needed thousands of dollars of repairs and we needed rehab from our injuries as well. The bigger the car, the safer it is...while still keeping that fuel-efficiency). Thanks so much!""

Car insurance companies with no deposit?

i need car insurance but cannot afford to pay an upfront deposit? can any one help?

How much life insurance should we have on each other at our age?

My husband is 27 turning 28, I am 24 turning 25. We own a home owe roughly 98,000 on it still, have two children. No credit card debt at all. (don't have any cards) Our cars are 2,000 away from being paid off so I don't think that should be figured in at all. I have 100,000 on my husband and 150,000 on me. I took more on me because he has no family here and though my family of course will help him if I passed away but I thought because I stay at home and he would have to find daycare and all he would need more. My sister said I should take out at least 2x my pay off on my house so that I could pay it off and still have 100,000 to cover financial issues until the parent left could settle in to taking care of a house hold alone. Do you agree? Should we increase our policies? I just don't know...it is hard to think of these things but I want to make sure that if one of us pass away my family will be taken care of and not have to worry about money.""

Do the affordable care act effect all health insurance?

Or is it just limited to obamacare?

Vehicle Insurance Survey4?

11) Please mention your agreement level with the following statements 1) Strongly disagree 2) Disagree 3) Neutral 4) Agree 5) Strongly Agree Statements 1 2 3 4 5 My insurance company settle claims faster as per my expectation My company introduces different product to my requirement My insurance company does not settle claims as per my expectation 12) Please mention the level of satisfaction with the following features offered by current insurance company. Criteria Highly Dissatisfied Dissatisfied Neutral Satisfied Highly Satisfied Cost Brand Referral Hassles free claims Bonus rate Ease of purchase Return fee Professional advice Linked with another product Choice of selecting your own service centre 13) How many years you have been using your vehicle (i) Less than 2 YEARS [ ] (ii) 2-5 YEARS [ ] (iii) 5-10 YEARS [ ] (iv) MORE THAN 10 YEARS [ ] Please fill Vehicle Insurance Survey5

Greenville South Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 29605

Greenville South Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 29605

Why do companies that claim to offer them the best insurance quotes sell leads?

I was shopping around for insurance quotes on my home and cars. Many of the websites that I came across claimed to offer the best quotes from different companies thereby getting me the best price. I started filling out a few forms and, for once, I decided to read the fine print ( you know that small font form we all click agree on). Basically what I found was that the company used 4 agencies that paid them to contact me. What the site was trying to advertise to me was that i would have he best possible quote in the world without having to call up the many insurance agencies around me individually. In reality the fine print ( which in the case of the Internet can be 25 clicks hidden) states that they offer quotes from companies that pay them. Why not state that the information I'm giving them is a lead and that people that get it pay for my information and those that don't do not get it. What about some insurance company that can't afford to pay for my information but can offer me cheaper insurance than those that do pay hat site? I wouldn't be so ticked off if these sites simply stated that they sell our information. Rather than try to make it seem as they find you the best price. False advertising is a cancer. http://www.4freequotes.com/web2000/agents/ http://www.netquote.com/about/media-kit.aspx http://www.netquote.com/affiliate/ http://www.2insure4less.com/insurance-leads http://adrianasinsurance.com/about_adrianas/terms/ Go to any free quote webite and read their privacy policy and the page that's made for affiliates/agents, you will clearly see how your information is sold.""

What are some reasons a person would get kicked off of state farm car insurance?

recently i had gotten into a small accident in a private driveway. not much damage done to either vehicles. when we brought this to the attention of our State Farm Insurance, they said that my mom can be taken off the plan because i was an unlicensed driver with no other driver in the car. she had no idea i had the car though. i own the car but its under her insurance. i usually only take it to work, but something rather important had come up and i had no other way of reaching my destination. can they really take my mom off her plan for something she was not aware of?""

How do i take out a car of my insurance?

So my brothers car got repo and i wanted to take to out of my insurance but the lady says i cant wtf

Home insurance?

I am not sure how much home insurance coverage I should have for the house I bought 2 years ago. The cost of the house including the land was $96,000. But that includes the price of the land, etc. I now have to renew the home insurance policy and realized maybe I should reduce the amount of the coverage from $96,000 to around $80,000. The dwelling amount for the insurance has been the price I paid for, $96,000. But if something happens and the house needs to get rebuild, the cost of building should not be as high as $96,000. I currently owe mortgage $70,000. Do you have any recommendation? I do not know if I can ask the insurance agent to reduce the dwelling coverage. But I am hoping a way to save money on the home insurance. Could someone give me an advice? Thank you.""

How much does insurance(auto insurance) cost for a 56 year old with perfect records?

I was wondering how much insurance would cost for a 50+ year old, and which would be the best insurance, and also the cheapest.""

How to get a car which is inbound because car was without insurance?

There is an awareness issue of , we didnt have car insurance . but yesterday I got to know that its illegal to drive a car without insurance. The understanding was that it would be dangerous but illegal was new thing. From yesterday we are trying to get insurance but they are saying that it is not possible to get insurance for inbound car. We can get insurance after release of the car but now we are stucked .Because police is not releasing car without insurance. We don't know anybody here so facing little problem.""

Insurance on a 92 Vtec honda prelude?

approx. what would insurance on a 92 Vtec Honda prelude be for a Canadian 17 year old guy with with a successfully drivers education course completed? and if possible what would be the cheapest place to go for my insurance?

Which is the best medical insurance in washington state?

Which is the best medical insurance in washington state?

I got my first DWI i ll be getting my license back soon how much will my insurance go up in the state of mo?

in the state of missouri how much will my insurance rates go up after my first dwi? (and LAST)

""9 months owning phone with no insurance, but adding insurance now?

could I still get a replacement today after adding my insurance?

Car insurance and tickets!! Help?

I live in Houston and I'm 18, I don't have a license. I was driving my dads car and got 3 tickets. One for driving 25 on a 20 mile school zone, one for no license and the other one for my name not being on the insurance. I'm working on getting my license Will my parents insurance go way way up if they add me to their insurance because of the tickets.""

What do I do about car insurance when I join the military?

Do car insurance companies offer discounts on car insurance to those enlisted in the military. I'm going to be going off to the air force soon and I've decided i'm definately not taking my car. If I happen not to sell it either and just leave it at home, how do car insurance companies help with that? Do they give discounts to those away on military duty?""

What's the cheapest van insurance for a new driver aged 27?

just passed my test and will be looking for a little berlingo van or kangoo. something of the sort. im a builder. just like to know peoples experiences getting the best insurance.

Health insurance from a broker?

HI, I need to take out a health insurance policy for myself because my work doesn't offer any. I called a local insurance broker who offers that service in addition to others like life, business, etc. My question is, is there any negative reason to buy from him verses going online and buying a policy by myself? I think I'd get more info from a broker right? Thanks""

How much would insurance be for a 750cc Motorbike for a 21 year old male (UK)?

I'm talking averages, what would be considered 'overly expensive'? Full licence and CBT. I don't have the bike so can't input the details on an insurance comparison site, I'm only considering it if it is better value to get the less powerful 125. Cheers.""

""In Holland, what are the average odds of insurance paying for car dents and scratches caused by another?""

I got drunk and accidentally crashed my bike into a car, which didn't look very expensive. If it's likely that insurance doesn't pay, I'll try to pay for it myself""

""What is the best rate (cheapest) for basic liability car insurance in ontario , primmum insurance told me?""

thier rates is 135.00 / month and i have perfect driving record ,can any one help me plz""

Can I take out a life insurance policy on someone else?

My sister and I would like to take out some sort of life insurance for my mom since my mom does not have any savings/401k nor does she have any life insurance. We just want to be prepared for when she dies so that there won't be such a financial burden on the family. So, can we take out a life insurance policy on her? And do we have to have her consent to get her covered because she is very resistant to talking about dying and such?""

What are some quicker cars that are lower in insurance?

I'm looking to get a quicker car, I've been looking at WRX, Speed3, and GTI, but they are all really expensive on insurance for a 19 year old, are there any comparable cars that might be a little less on insurance rates?""

Average car insurance for me?

Im a guy. Senior in high school. I don't have a 3.0+ gpa to reduce insurance. I'm prolly gonna drive a 96 blazer or 97 jeep grand Cherokee. Roughly, how much would my insurance be?""

What 600cc Sports Bike is cheapest to Insurance?

Cheapest i got some far is 750 on a honda CBR 600 im looking at not spending more then 500 on insurance

Will I get dropped from my insurance?

i took a urine test with my doctor the other day. I asked what h was testing for and he said everything , so Im not sure what hes testing. He said he was gonna check for diabetes and what not. I was wondering, in the case he drug tests me can he tel my insurance? Can I get dropped from the insurance for this? I smoked weed about 5 weeks ago. I live in California amd hnet is my insurance. Thanks!""

Can i buy my own health insurance?

Can i buy my own health insurance? i'm 17.

How do i get an insurance quote?

Hi, im wanting to get a quote on car insurance for when I'm 17. I'm currently just about to go 16, yes, I'm aware that it's a little early to be looking into cars, but I'm really curious as to how much I would need to save etc. So if anyone knows of any sites I can get a quote on without signing up or anything then it'd be appreciated very much! Or even if anyone could give me a ballpark figure on how much a 2008 Vauxhall Astra 1.4i 16V SXi 3dr Sport Hatch would cost. Thanks :)""

Car Insurance Companies + Excluding Drivers?

My brother and I are trying to get insurance for our two cars but are having a problem with one of the cars. My uncle gave me my car but we never dealt with switching over the title of the car. Most of the major insurance companies require that the cars be under the name of one of us. We have found some smaller companies that do an exclusion to deal with the problem but the rates are higher. Does any body know of any major company that allows this to happen? Thanks for the help.

Greenville South Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 29605

Greenville South Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 29605

Cheap minibus insurance?

where can i get cheap minibus insce.

I reasonly got layied off need my wife is haven a baby need to know about insurance?

i got layied off from my job im a union worker in nyc and i have to work a certin amout of hours to keep my heath insurance going . my term ends in june my baby is do in july there for i will not be covered when the baby is do . does any one know what i can do for covrage i have aetna ? is there anyway i can extend my insurance ?

Cost of getting motorcycle insurance for 20 year old?

I am probably goin to get a sports bike. I have had my license since I was 18. I have no tickets and clean driving record. I currently pay $140 a month for insurance on my truck. I was looking into getting a bike older than 2003. How much will motorcycle insurance be for a sports bike?

Car Insurance (Geico) ?

My parents don't have me on their insurance but I have a license does geico know I have my licence beccause I live with my parents? And by how much will they raise the insurance cost if they put me on? they put my sister on it a couple years ago and it went up $1000

Can I apply for California Unemployment Insurance?

i was working two jobs, and part time permanent position, and a full time temp position. i was layed off of my part time permanent position. i am still working full time at my temp postition, but at times i don't work that position for a couple weeks at a time. can i apply for edd now so when i have those weeks off i can claim edd. or do i need to wait until i have those weeks off and then claim i was layed off from my permanent job?""

Who has the cheapest auto insurance in california?

I need full coverage. Low downpayment.whatever it takes to get my licence and tags. I don't care if its barneys insurance and feed store. I just need my tags and licence

""Best insurance business (All State, Farmers or State Farm)?""

I am seriously considering becoming an insurance agent for State Farm, Farmers or All State, but I don't know which company is the best choice for me, I am bilingual in Spanish, so I am looking for a company that is going after the Hispanic Market. I have heard some bad things about Farmers, so my decision might be State Farm or All State. Nationwide is doing a great advertising campaing in the Spanish market, does anybody know if they offer agency jobs. I am open to other suggestions. Any help/Suggestions is very much appreciated. Gracias""

""How much, on average, is car insurance?""

How much, on average, is car insurance?""

Do I have to wait for my auto insurance card to arrive in order to drive?

I'm 17 and just got my license. My parents are calling their auto insurance company to put me down. Do I have to wait for the card to arrive in the mail or can I drive after calling?

My car got stolen and i have full cover insurance on it will they give me money for it?

My car got stolen and they find the car and all that was left was the shell of the car. I also have GAP insurance I want to know will the pay off my car and give me money to buy another car.

Approximately how much will car insurance cost me in the usa?

im 19 years old im getting a mazda rx8 2004 it has 55k millage on it. i will use my foreigner license in the states. im live in new york and im a student on an f1 visa.

We are a new small business. Where is the best place to get workers compensation insurance?

Just looking for an insurance company (private sector?) who provides affordable workers compensation insurance for small businesses.

Will this effect my car insurance?

I got pulled over and ticketed for an outdated inspection sticker and a light being out. I've been ticketed before, but the ticket was thrown out in court. I was wondering if this will effect my car insurance at all. I live in Massachusetts. I think it counts as a moving violation but i think they let you off on your first offence.""

Can anybody advise me on the Insurance Company United America for health insurance?

I need Health insurance and would like advise on this company

Cheapest Scooter Insurance for 16 year old?

I just turned 16 and want to get a scooter The actual license and scooter isnt too expensive 50 for provisional, 89 for CBT, bout 20 for the thory and 60 for practical However, insurance is a pain!! :/ does anyone know who the cheapest insurer is for a 16 year old? I would love to be able to drive on the scooter but insurance is too much. Also, what is the best scooter to get. By best i mean a scooter which has the cheapest insurance? THanks a lot!!""

How would insurance work in college?

When I go to college, how would I be able to receive insurance, to go to the Dentist or Doctor?""

Cost to insure brand new Range Rover Sport at 17 years old?

To start off, money is not a problem in this situation for me so dont tell start saying - Its unreliable - It'll be too expensive etc... Anyway! just wondering what a brand new range rover sport would cost to insure as a new driver with a full UK license as a named driver whilst im 17 years old? Thanks""

Why did my homeowner's insurance double?

I have made no claims on the insurance and absolutely nothing has changed with the house (no pool, no trampoline, no dog, nothing.) Everything is identical to when I renewed last. Why would the insurance double when nothing has changed whatsoever?""

How much of an auto insurance discount does a family get for having more than one car?

How much of an auto insurance discount does a family get for having more than one car?

Do you need auto insurance in florida?

Do you need auto insurance in florida?

Which is cheaper for a 16 year old Car insurance or Motorcycle insurance?

Im thinking about getting either a car or a motorcycle it all depends on the insurance cost.

NJ private health insurance.Which health insurance company is best?

My spouse has health insurance.To add me on would cost over $900 monthly.Which health insurance company gives the lowest cost coverage in new jersey? I am self-employed .We have no children.We are in our 50's.

Can i get car insurance in Cali. if my license is from NY?

I'm currently in Sacramento now and i live in NYC. I flew here on vacation and now i want to buy a car and drive back. How will i get insurance for my car?

How much would I have to pay for car insurance?

I'm an 18-year-old male. I have been driving for almost two years, including permit time. I should have no tickets on my record (I had one but I was able to get it off with a kind of probation). I'm in college as a B average student. My dad has been with Allstate for awhile now, has had only 1 or 2 tickets in the past five years or so. The car I want to get insured is a '97 Acura 3.5RL with a Nav System and high security system. Any help is appreciated, but answers with numbers will be greatly appreciated. I know there's a lot of factors with car insurance, but if anyone can, I'd like to get an rough estimate.""

Car insurance?

Does anyone know of any insurance company's where you can be on your parents insuance but still get no claims? Thanks

Greenville South Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 29605

Greenville South Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 29605

""On average, how much is motorcycle insurance in Ontario?""

I'm 19, new rider, live in Scarborough Ontario. As a car driver, never crashed before Planning to get either a GS650F or SV650SA If possible could someone share their own experience on motorcycle insurance and how much it might cost. Some of my friends told me it's cheaper than car insurance while others told me its twice as much as car insurance""

I need help finding an affordable health insurance plan!! I am a young adult!?

I need help finding an affordable health insurance plan!! I am a young adult! I currently am 20, and I am on Medicaid. Full coverage. I am a former foster youth. Being a former foster care youth I get medicaid until I am 21. I turn 21 in October...I need some sort of affordable health insurance plan. I take ADHD medication, it really works and helps me focus. My work ethic has improved SIGNIFICANTLY, and I can actually focus. Its great, I am about to start college and am worried I am no longer going to be able to take this ADHD medication. I support myself for the most part, and no, I can not be on my parent's health insurance. I make about 16,000 a year, and pay half of rent and some bills etc. I need to find a health insurance plan that either A. will pay for all my my 198.00 a month prescrption cost, or B. pay for most of it. Will someone help me out? Direct me to any insurance company you know that can help me? Thank you so much. And please..real answers. Thank you for your time!""

What insurance group?

I'm interested in the Mazda RX8 but would like to know the insurance group without having to go for a quote. I'm not looking at a specific car just love the cars and am interested.

""Car insurance, how much?""

how much would full-cover car insurance cost for a cadillac luxury coupe CTS, 2014? ----------------------------------------------- What about for a 2014 Nissan 370z?""

How much does the insurance usually go up on a 2door car?

How much does the insurance usually go up on a 2door car?

Sites of the insurance quotes reliable?

http://www.education-house.com/insurance/index.html

How do i pay for car insurance?

i'm 17 years old and moving out. me and my parents do not get along. i'm buying my own car but i do not know how i'm going to pay for the insurance? i do not know much about anything. i can't get a credit card because i'm not 18 so what should i do? is there a different way?

Classic car insurance loophole?

I've been wanting to get classic insurance on my '71 F250 for a while but the one requirement I don't meet is the fact that I don't own a suitable primary vehicle/daily driver. My primary vehicle is a motorcycle which is feasible in Arizona but doesn't qualify according to insurance providers regardless. My question is, is there a way around that? My brother and I share a place and I'm wondering if I can add his vehicle to my policy in order to meet the primary vehicle/daily driver qualification. Does the vehicle have to be under my name or can I insure it as if it's a loner? Thanks in advance for any input.""

How much does a sixteen year old in BC pay for car insurance?

The car is an 87 porsche 944. my grades are less than satisfactory. i am expecting high numbers. i make $9.50 an hour working ten hours a week. also, is it even possible for me to pay the insurance along with gas and income tax? (car takes approx. 20 mpg) i drive about 30 miles a week.""

Why does CAR INSURANCE cost more when a CAR/ motor vehicle is PAINTED RED?

Why does the color red coast more to insure ?

""Need Jaw Surgery, No insurance. Low Income, [Best] advice please.?""

I need Jaw Surgery, and have no insurance. I'm from low income. From online readings, I heard you can get it done at UCSF for free, but there is a waiting line?? not sure about that. If have to pay, I heard 5k-7k with insurance. I don't have insurance, and if I were to get it, I don't want to pay kaiser $150/month. What is your [best] advice?? Thanks a lot!""

Limited company insurance?

Ive just set up my own limited company recently and i am the only emploee of this company. I dont have health insurance or insurance against loss of earnings in case anything happens to me. Who is the best company for me to go to with this problem.

How much does insurance(auto insurance) cost for a 56 year old with perfect records?

I was wondering how much insurance would cost for a 50+ year old, and which would be the best insurance, and also the cheapest. Thanks in advance.""

Can young drivers get insurance for classic cars?

I've been looking around, and none of the insurance websites i have been on are very clear... I am a 17 y/o girl, and would like to drive a classic beetle. Is it possible to get insurance on classic beetles as a young driver? If so, where? Is classic car insurance cheaper than normal car insurance? :)""

Fronting? - UK Car Insurance?

Hi, Could anyone give a proper definition of fronting regarding car insurance in the UK? For example, who goes under the heading of a fronter? In which cases would it be illegal to go under a more experienced driver's insurance policy? I understand why a 17 year old who just got their driving licence wouldn't be allowed to hide behind their parents' 20 years of No Claims, but would a 25 year old be able to go on their parents' policy? I've tried looking at the insurers' websites but they'll happily give a quote for anything, even if it's illegal, without saying so, so I can never be sure if it's wrong or not Thanks :)""

Can I still use my mom's health insurance?

My Mom has Anthem Blue Cross SISC III. I am married but 19 years old, and under the Affordable Care Act, children 26 and under are still supposed to be covered, married or unmarried, unless the adult child has another offer of employer-based coverage . My husband is a Marine, so I have the option to use Tricare, but I do not have my OWN employer-based coverage, so can I still use my mom's insurance? Her insurance plan is a lot better than Tricare.""

Does Car insurance increase for adding spouse as Non-driver?

I have been added to my Dh policy for Car insurance as Non-driver. I dnt know driver. Does it increase the insurance rate? suggestions please

What is the average insurance quote for a 2007 jeep wrangler?

I'm turning 16 in a year and my dad and I really want to get a Jeep. Not just for me, but for him too. I'm really interested in the 2007 jeep wrangler soft top. I plan on taking the defensive driving course because I heard that it helps lower insurance on the vehicle. Is that true? Also I have to pay for part of the monthly payments. How much is the average monthly payments for the type of car that I want?""

I have an insurance question?

I was a passenger in an auto accident, and I am supposed to receive a payout from the drivers auto insurance. However I am concerned whether or not my heath insurance(who paid for my medical bills), will be able to access that money that was offered to me by the auto insurance company. Will they be chasing after the money for reimbursement?""

""Who will pay for my flooded car, the city or insurance company?""

This past weekend I get a knock at the door from some neighbors during a storm telling me that I should move my truck out of the street. I walk outside and see that my truck is sitting in nearly four feet of water. The water level rose up to cover the seats and nearly reached the dashboard. We put it in neutral and pushed it down the street so most of the water ran out. We used towels to get out what we could that night. I didn't try to crank it, and I unhooked the battery cables. When I tried to crank it about 18 hours later it would not start. My question is, can I sue the city for the flood damage to my truck since their sewer drainage system was responsible for the localized flooding on my street? Can they be held responsible for this? Or will I just have to settle with what the insurance company will give me for the truck since it is undoubtedly totaled? I have already paid about $19500 on the truck, but I still owe about $8600. How much can I actually expect to get?""

How much would it cost for a 16 year old with a 91-93 300zx tt?

How much would the insurance be for a 16 year old to have a 91-93 300zx twin turbo? in alabama

I am retired federal employee & want info on car insurance rates?

I am retired federal employee & want info on car insurance rates?

What is the cheapest car insurance?

Looking for cheap insurance because I have had to tickets for speeding.

Car and car insurance?

Okay so I want to buy a car. My credit score is 633. I am 19 and in january I opened 2 credit cards which I pay my bills on time. I also have a phone bill i pay on time. If i wanted to buy a 10,000 dollar car or maybe 8,000, I was wondering how much my APR would be and how much my monthly bill would be. Also how much I would have to put down on the car at first. And I was also wondering how much my insurance cost would be seeing that I am a 19 year old female with 2 tickets on her driving record. (One for speeding, one for phone use.) i just need a rough estimation... Thank you :)""

Why are so many insurance companies hiring agents?

Is it because of the government trying to force coverage on people?

Greenville South Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 29605

Greenville South Carolina Cheap car insurance quotes zip 29605

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/flint-michigan-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-48506-kevin-wildermuth/"